Calling Yourself ‘Humbled’ Doesn’t Sound as Humble as It Used To(nytimes.com)
nytimes.com
Calling Yourself ‘Humbled’ Doesn’t Sound as Humble as It Used To
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/24/magazine/calling-yourself-humbled-doesnt-sound-as-humble-as-it-used-to.html
98 comments
The emergence of these '30 Under 30' lists is troubling in and of itself!
Look up one of the lists from 10 years ago. How many of the people listed are still relevant?
Oh come on! The number of people on the list is greater than the number of years any of those people have been alive. Doesn't that amuse you?
Often it's the exact opposite: a way to brag and draw attention to things that people would otherwise not much care about or consider admirable.
Pretending to be humbled is basically lying about the amount of recognition you receive in the hopes that new people will be tricked to really consider you important. Perhaps similar to tagging everything with #blessed on instagram.
"I'm so humbled and honored and surprised to be/serve as X and I want to thank my parents / offer mentoring to the less fortunate of you" often after aggressive pursuit, self-nomination or unacknowledged massive help / connections to get whatever the thing was.
Pretending to be humbled is basically lying about the amount of recognition you receive in the hopes that new people will be tricked to really consider you important. Perhaps similar to tagging everything with #blessed on instagram.
"I'm so humbled and honored and surprised to be/serve as X and I want to thank my parents / offer mentoring to the less fortunate of you" often after aggressive pursuit, self-nomination or unacknowledged massive help / connections to get whatever the thing was.
I had this exact thought once getting an award. I actually opened my acceptance speech with, "This is when I'm supposed to get up here and tell you how humbled I am by this award. But that's the exact opposite of how I feel. According to you, I'm awesome! In fact, I should probably apologize now to my co-workers for how much more difficult I'm going to be to work with after tonight."
EDIT: messed up some grammar... this mistake has humbled me.
EDIT: messed up some grammar... this mistake has humbled me.
I love this! If I'm ever in a position to accept an award I'm going to steal this opening. It's certainly more entertaining than the affected humility we see.
Of course, even this approach will have its own shelf life — meaning that, if used widely, it will also become a parody of itself.
Of course, even this approach will have its own shelf life — meaning that, if used widely, it will also become a parody of itself.
This goes back pretty far:
"Now the man Moses was very humble, more than any man who was on the face of the earth." Num 12:3 - Written by Moses
To be fair, the book was most likely not written by the actual Moses. Most believe it's a compilation from several priestly writings. But it's definite silly sounding.
Awesome. Whoever wrote the Bible was setting up today's assholes for a "I'm basically Moses"
The Bible and other religious texts have a lot of accumulated wisdom in them. I think of them as the Wikipedias of their time, edited by everyone, partly useful information, partly full of shit, accepted uncritically by the more naive
Interesting but I disagree. Basically the entire Old Testament is edited and to enforce a certain interpretation of the Israelites' history, namely that turning away from God caused bad things to happen. It has a fairly consistent and coherent agenda.
I would love to talk about that more. It's been a long time since I have read the Old Testament. I meant to buy the "Five Books of Moses" translation a few years back.
Hi, it's something I learned about when I took this class: https://www.coursera.org/learn/bible-history
It looks like it's actually being offered again, and just started this week if you're interested.
It looks like it's actually being offered again, and just started this week if you're interested.
You think you're really righteous? You think you're pure at heart? Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art.
Also reminds me of a great classic from The Onion [0] about the winner of the yoga championship:
“I am the serenest!” Bikram shouted to the estimated crowd of 20,000 yoga fans, vigorously pumping his fists. “No one is serener than Sri Dhananjai Bikram—I am the greatest monk of all time!”
0: http://www.theonion.com/article/monk-gloats-over-yoga-champi...
“I am the serenest!” Bikram shouted to the estimated crowd of 20,000 yoga fans, vigorously pumping his fists. “No one is serener than Sri Dhananjai Bikram—I am the greatest monk of all time!”
0: http://www.theonion.com/article/monk-gloats-over-yoga-champi...
Never thought I'd see a Weird Al quote on HN.
My favourite line from that song is "On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife".
Another apropos line: "So don't be vain, and don't be whiny, or my brother I might have to get medieval on your hiney!"
Did it ever sound humble? Complimenting oneself publicly on one's supposedly exceptional humility has always seemed an unintentional sarcasm to me.
I think there's a difference between saying something was "a humbling experience" and "I am exceptionally humble".
There is now even a word for that: humblebragging.
I am humble but it is just one of my numerous merits. :p
With the risk of feeling the power of the ban hammer, here is the obligatory reference
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzUKcXxbU4U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzUKcXxbU4U
Sonia Sotomayor said that she was "very humbled" when President Obama nominated her for the Supreme Court. I'm sure it's really humbling when the President calls you up and tells you that you're the best judge in the country. ;-)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonia_Sotomayor_Supreme_Court_...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonia_Sotomayor_Supreme_Court_...
Overuse has killed the actual meaning of a lot of words. Don't even get me started on 'genius'.
How about obsessed and love? Americans overuse these two.
My pet peeve is "passion"
"insane"
actually thats my 2nd place nominee. first place is so common even I dont notice it: "key".
paying attention is key to success.
the key to understanding code is to.
being persistent is key.
what it should mean is that without $key, $effect cannot be accomplished. what it really means is $key is important/helpful.
actually thats my 2nd place nominee. first place is so common even I dont notice it: "key".
paying attention is key to success.
the key to understanding code is to.
being persistent is key.
what it should mean is that without $key, $effect cannot be accomplished. what it really means is $key is important/helpful.
Or 'hacking'.
"Literally" really gets on my nerves.
I am literally humbled to be a gourmet hacker obsessed with artisan love.
"... What happens next will literally blow your mind"
In general I'm literally grateful that the frequently used form of "literally" does not apply literally.
In general I'm literally grateful that the frequently used form of "literally" does not apply literally.
We geniuses at Bitely are literally hacking the gourmet food space. It's essentially a Tinder for your Tastebuds.
> really
I see what you did there.
I see what you did there.
Literally had literally been used to mean "figuratively" for over a century.
This is so true. If people assume that the word "literally" cannot, itself, be used figuratively - to exaggerate a metaphor - they might not truly understand how words work. So people correcting "literally" and mocking those who use it when speaking figuratively is a pet peeve of mine.
I'd argue that word-policing is also a part of how they work.
True. Can you apply that to this example?
Policing use of the word "literally" as synonymous to "figuratively" - and as pointed out, this actually preserves something (semantic utility?); instead of having two words meaning the same thing, we have two unambiguous and semantically distinct words.
Thanks for clarifying. Sorry for this long reply but it is a tricky thing to make clear because of the nature of both of these words. My point is that "literally" is not actually used to be synonymous with "figuratively" in most of the cases where somebody might police it. Instead, I'm just saying that the figurative usage of "literally" is distinct from using "literally" to literally mean "figuratively", and also that that (totally fine) figurative usage seems to be the most commonly complained about. Though the dictionaries often conflate the two, as far as I can tell real usage is more subtle than "these are synonyms", and also is consistent with the primary meanings of both words. OK that's a lot of these words. An example!
If I say "That comedian literally brought the house down last night," you might correct me by saying "Don't you mean he figuratively brought the house down?", and I think that's a misunderstanding. A metaphor like "brought the house down" only functions because you are saying something that contradicts reality in the first place. So I didn't misspeak when I said "literally" - I would never have intended to say the sentence "He figuratively brought the house down" because that much is clear from context... Pointing out that a metaphor was figurative would actually weaken the metaphor. What I was intending to do was be more emphatic about the trueness of the metaphorical statement, so that the metaphor would be more vivid. This is a dumb example of that but that's the function the word has when it is within a metaphor, and not describing the metaphor.
People often want to heighten things to express meaning beyond the usual level of a phrase. I could say "He really brought the house down" or "He actually brought the house down" and I would probably not be corrected as much, even though both of those words are synonyms of "literally". I might even get away with saying "He truly brought the house down".
Of all those options, I think "literally" sounds the most emphatic, precisely because of its meaning of "take this in a literal sense." It intensifies the basic conceit of a what a metaphor is: a blatantly false statement intended to provide some other meaning. People are not trying (and failing) to tell you the nature of the metaphor, they are trying to increase the strength of the metaphor. "Literally" is also attractive because it sounds funny, and maybe once it got a bit trendy for a while it got in people's heads as a common word to reach for when emphasis is needed.
Of course, there can be "wrong" uses of both words, but the mere act of using "literally" in a figurative context is not one.
You have been polite and made a clear case, but many of the people who roll their eyes in condescension when they hear this "mistake" are not. They act like the speaker is an idiot who has, ironically, used the word that means the opposite of what they think they mean. This happens with a few other language issues - people know a simplified version of a "rule" and then correct others' usage based on this, without understanding that the rules we learn as kids are nothing more than guidelines to help us do pretty much the right thing without getting into the complicated reality of language.
I think policing makes sense in more confusing cases, or in legal situations (e.g. "I had to hit him officer, he was literally asking for it."). Or where somebody clearly just misunderstands what they are saying and confuses both words. But I don't really see sentences like "Shakespeare used language literally in his poems, in order to express the beauty of his beloved." in the wild, do you?
aand right at the end I found a much better expression of this idea here: http://blog.dictionary.com/literally/
If I say "That comedian literally brought the house down last night," you might correct me by saying "Don't you mean he figuratively brought the house down?", and I think that's a misunderstanding. A metaphor like "brought the house down" only functions because you are saying something that contradicts reality in the first place. So I didn't misspeak when I said "literally" - I would never have intended to say the sentence "He figuratively brought the house down" because that much is clear from context... Pointing out that a metaphor was figurative would actually weaken the metaphor. What I was intending to do was be more emphatic about the trueness of the metaphorical statement, so that the metaphor would be more vivid. This is a dumb example of that but that's the function the word has when it is within a metaphor, and not describing the metaphor.
People often want to heighten things to express meaning beyond the usual level of a phrase. I could say "He really brought the house down" or "He actually brought the house down" and I would probably not be corrected as much, even though both of those words are synonyms of "literally". I might even get away with saying "He truly brought the house down".
Of all those options, I think "literally" sounds the most emphatic, precisely because of its meaning of "take this in a literal sense." It intensifies the basic conceit of a what a metaphor is: a blatantly false statement intended to provide some other meaning. People are not trying (and failing) to tell you the nature of the metaphor, they are trying to increase the strength of the metaphor. "Literally" is also attractive because it sounds funny, and maybe once it got a bit trendy for a while it got in people's heads as a common word to reach for when emphasis is needed.
Of course, there can be "wrong" uses of both words, but the mere act of using "literally" in a figurative context is not one.
You have been polite and made a clear case, but many of the people who roll their eyes in condescension when they hear this "mistake" are not. They act like the speaker is an idiot who has, ironically, used the word that means the opposite of what they think they mean. This happens with a few other language issues - people know a simplified version of a "rule" and then correct others' usage based on this, without understanding that the rules we learn as kids are nothing more than guidelines to help us do pretty much the right thing without getting into the complicated reality of language.
I think policing makes sense in more confusing cases, or in legal situations (e.g. "I had to hit him officer, he was literally asking for it."). Or where somebody clearly just misunderstands what they are saying and confuses both words. But I don't really see sentences like "Shakespeare used language literally in his poems, in order to express the beauty of his beloved." in the wild, do you?
aand right at the end I found a much better expression of this idea here: http://blog.dictionary.com/literally/
If literally means figuratively sometimes and literally others, doesn't it then essentially lack any purpose whatsoever? It is meaningless in that case.
That's how metaphor works. It actually happens a lot in English, here's a list of so-called "contranyms" http://www.dailywritingtips.com/75-contronyms-words-with-con...
EDIT I'm actually not crazy about this list, some them are pretty tenuous.
EDIT I'm actually not crazy about this list, some them are pretty tenuous.
You're in good company. Relevant XKCDs:
https://xkcd.com/725/
https://xkcd.com/1108/
https://xkcd.com/725/
https://xkcd.com/1108/
You might like this Oatmeal comic: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/literally
And all the "gourmet" items to be found in the discount aisle of the grocery store.
I've always seen "gourmet" as a negative. I've never found a decent food that needed to declare itself "gourmet" — only stuff that knows it's crap and feels the need to overcompensate.
For example, the popcorn made with some exotic oil and cheese that you'll get at a high-end movie theater? Never gourmet. The stale popcorn people sell door-to-door to raise money for their school? Pretty likely to be gourmet.
For example, the popcorn made with some exotic oil and cheese that you'll get at a high-end movie theater? Never gourmet. The stale popcorn people sell door-to-door to raise money for their school? Pretty likely to be gourmet.
Everything is "artisan" too.
There's no such thing as gourmet coffee, gourmet rolls or gourmet pizza. Gourmet means one thing: “We're going to charge you more.” The same is true of the word cuisine. The difference between food and cuisine is sixty dollars.
- George Carlin
- George Carlin
Or 'hero'.
Unbelievable!
One good example of this bullshit is the last years of Bill Gates PR. People "spontaneously" coming to social networks to state how great and humble he is.
E.G this fantastic piece of "interview": http://imgur.com/gallery/DTDsH0P
I still wonder how it can remotely work. But it does. Read the comments below the pictures, it's crazy.
It's like in big announcements when people are jumping around saying they are all "so excited". I usually stop listening after somebody used those 2 worlds, there are people finding this is a demonstration of enthusiasm.
E.G this fantastic piece of "interview": http://imgur.com/gallery/DTDsH0P
I still wonder how it can remotely work. But it does. Read the comments below the pictures, it's crazy.
It's like in big announcements when people are jumping around saying they are all "so excited". I usually stop listening after somebody used those 2 worlds, there are people finding this is a demonstration of enthusiasm.
Why do you think he's not humble? Of all the billionaires I've seen talk he appears to be a pretty decent and grounded person.
Being the humblest billionaire has to be like being the shortest person on the basketball team.
I agree that Gates seems decent and grounded. But humble? The man is trying to eradicate malaria, and that's just one of many high-profile activities carried out by a foundation with his name on it.
(Note, this isn't a criticism. I don't see any reason he ought to be humble.)
I agree that Gates seems decent and grounded. But humble? The man is trying to eradicate malaria, and that's just one of many high-profile activities carried out by a foundation with his name on it.
(Note, this isn't a criticism. I don't see any reason he ought to be humble.)
Remember the 90's? It got kinda crazy: http://lurkertech.com/bill-the-borg/windoze2495.jpg
(I kinda agree with you -- as far as billionaires go, you could do a lot worse. But maybe sametmax is right and Gates is just that much better at PR than your average billionaire. Who knows.)
(I kinda agree with you -- as far as billionaires go, you could do a lot worse. But maybe sametmax is right and Gates is just that much better at PR than your average billionaire. Who knows.)
Have you read the same interview ?
It's like you try to get a job and the ask "what's you biggest weakness ?" and you answer "I can't say, but people usually say I'm too invested in my work".
Why do I even have to explain that ?
Gates PR works so well I even have to rewrite the list of all the horrible stuff he's responsible for in the 90's because people keep forgetting. This is terrible, and a reason politicians and big companies manage to get away again and again with bad behavior.
It's like you try to get a job and the ask "what's you biggest weakness ?" and you answer "I can't say, but people usually say I'm too invested in my work".
Why do I even have to explain that ?
Gates PR works so well I even have to rewrite the list of all the horrible stuff he's responsible for in the 90's because people keep forgetting. This is terrible, and a reason politicians and big companies manage to get away again and again with bad behavior.
I'll excuse all his technical and business misdeeds from 20-30 years ago if he cures malaria. Or even if he scrapes a double-digit percentage gain against the disease. The world has much bigger problems than some dickhead breaking a standard to get a leg-up on his competition. Or buying a competitor and preventing some bullshit technology from budding as early as it otherwise would have.
Corrupting governments is not misdeeds.
And by the way, I got malaria. While working for the Gates foundation in Africa.
And by the way, I got malaria. While working for the Gates foundation in Africa.
I look at Microsoft's uncooperative corporate strategy, which he has direct control over.
It really seems to never stop.
He could make a dictum: "Ok, from now on, all we do is create value. Desktop Windows will always be able to do the same as the professional/ultimate/bestest version. And we're going to do our best to cooperate with open source, instead of trying to screw them after making friendly."
But their strategy is just fine for me - I've long ago switched to a desktop OS that's always the professional version and that comes with everything a desktop OS should come with - GNU/Linux (in my case, Ubuntu, but there are others). It just screws all the other people who don't have the ability/nerve to switch to Linux.
It really seems to never stop.
He could make a dictum: "Ok, from now on, all we do is create value. Desktop Windows will always be able to do the same as the professional/ultimate/bestest version. And we're going to do our best to cooperate with open source, instead of trying to screw them after making friendly."
But their strategy is just fine for me - I've long ago switched to a desktop OS that's always the professional version and that comes with everything a desktop OS should come with - GNU/Linux (in my case, Ubuntu, but there are others). It just screws all the other people who don't have the ability/nerve to switch to Linux.
I had a bit when I was 10 or so where I'd go to great lengths to explain the magnitude of my humility. If 10-year-old me was cynical enough to develop a routine about it... how has it ever worked?
Humility, grace, rudeness, attractiveness... these are all judgments that can't be made about yourself, only by/about others.
Humility, grace, rudeness, attractiveness... these are all judgments that can't be made about yourself, only by/about others.
If you're looking for an easy drop-in word, I recommend "privileged"
It's certainly a privilege... I'm privileged to be a part of... etc
It seems to be an effective device for communicating your feelings without coming across as arrogant
It's certainly a privilege... I'm privileged to be a part of... etc
It seems to be an effective device for communicating your feelings without coming across as arrogant
I generally agree, although the term has started to become somewhat politically overloaded these days - white privilege, check your privilege, etc. Using it in the way you suggest should be rather uncontroversial but I would make sure to consider your audience.
Ah, the 'ol humble brag. If you call yourself humble, you're basically saying other people think you're awesome. I don't bother anymore, I just accept compliments, and if people ask me if I think I'm awesome, I say yes, even though I'm aware of my own failures (to be fair, everyone has them, so it doesn't detract from one's awesomeness).
Test this, next time someone offers you a compliment answer "I think you are right, Thank You," or "I agree, Thank You."
When an athlete says they are humbled, it's the most genuine use -- because to perform at a top level, you have to 'go back to your roots' - the lonely/early/late days that got you there. So they say it simply to remind themselves that the basics that got them there, is not forgotten and has to be implemented everyday.
Also physical performance for most sports is objective and earned, whereas most other scenarios it was a subjective process decided by other humans.
Until every sport adopts the powerlifting or MMA model where there are drugs and non-drug competitions there is no way of knowing. There's a Lance Armstrong in every sport.
One phrase that I've noticed (over)used in NFL broadcasts is "give credit". After a win, a star player will often "give credit" to the other team, their defense, lesser-known players, etc. It seems to be a decent way to act humble when you're the center of attention, without saying "humbled".
I agree. In current usage "humbled" just seems to mean "I'm staying humble despite my achievement" rather than what the word actually means. Even if it's over-used, it shows class to give credit to the people around you. Everyone helped at least a little.
Heh, the next article I read on HN after this one was:
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13487175
http://www.military.com/daily-news/2017/01/19/army-picks-sig...
Within a few sentences I read:
"We are both humbled and proud that the P320 was selected by the U.S. Army as its weapon of choice," Ron Cohen, chief executive officer of Sig Sauer, said in a statement to Military.com"
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13487175
http://www.military.com/daily-news/2017/01/19/army-picks-sig...
Within a few sentences I read:
"We are both humbled and proud that the P320 was selected by the U.S. Army as its weapon of choice," Ron Cohen, chief executive officer of Sig Sauer, said in a statement to Military.com"
> "We are living in humbling times. People are humbled all over the place. Lately it’s pro forma (...) for politicians, athletes, celebrities and other public figures to be vocally and vigorously humbled by every honor awarded, prize won, job offered, record broken, pound lost, shout-out received, “like” copped and thumb upped.
Everything that becomes a commonplace looses it's strength. Be it "honored", "humble", "didn't expect", "didn't think I would deserve it" and so on.
Everything that becomes a commonplace looses it's strength. Be it "honored", "humble", "didn't expect", "didn't think I would deserve it" and so on.
Reminds me of that classic article "On Smarm"
http://gawker.com/on-smarm-1476594977
http://gawker.com/on-smarm-1476594977
Here's another overused word: passion.
Which in a more literal sense means you have amorous feelings toward the thing you're passionate about.
Somebody's been listening to the Hello Internet podcast.
For those of you looking for a tl;dr version, here's a quote that gives you the general tone:
We live in a rabidly anti-elitist society that is also in slack-jawed, slavish thrall to elites, and it’s no joke to try to maintain homeostasis between “Look at me!” and “Who, me?”
I'm trying to remember who it was that once talked about judging a community by two things: its actual behavior, and what it holds up as ideal behavior. I think it's actually a good thing that society started to hold up as an ideal the idea of being humbled by success.
I found the superior, smug tone of the article annoying. Some attempt at sounding more humble would have produced a better article.
We live in a rabidly anti-elitist society that is also in slack-jawed, slavish thrall to elites, and it’s no joke to try to maintain homeostasis between “Look at me!” and “Who, me?”
I'm trying to remember who it was that once talked about judging a community by two things: its actual behavior, and what it holds up as ideal behavior. I think it's actually a good thing that society started to hold up as an ideal the idea of being humbled by success.
I found the superior, smug tone of the article annoying. Some attempt at sounding more humble would have produced a better article.
i'm ever so humble
I'm more humble than they are!
I am awe-inspiringly great at being humble! Nobody does humble like I do. Call in the next 10 minutes and get my "Awesome Humility in 40 days" starter kit for half off!
It's the opposite of being humbled. It's amusing (and a little disturbing) that it can be dressed up the way it is.