On Being an Outsider(lithub.com)
lithub.com
On Being an Outsider
https://lithub.com/on-being-an-outsider-words-by-charles-simic-photos-romeo-alaeff/
114 comments
Is there no Russian/ex-USSR expat community where you live?
I was lucky to work with many Russians at my last company in Berlin. At its peak we had all-Russian team, that was hilarious, cracking jokes all day like you never left home. So I wasn’t seeking anyone. But I hear Berlin has a large community. I was also lucky to live one train station away from the largest Eastern European grocery shop. The things you find there turn ordinary shopping into an adventure.
It’s different for smaller cities, since most young immigrants congregate in IT hubs. And there’s a huge difference to, say, Chinese or Thai. The latter seem to value their community much more that Russians.
It’s different for smaller cities, since most young immigrants congregate in IT hubs. And there’s a huge difference to, say, Chinese or Thai. The latter seem to value their community much more that Russians.
I moved for university to Toronto, Canada (from India) when I was 18. Despite having lived here for (nearly) 4 years, and loving absolutely every single minute of it, I don't know if and how I will ever be truly claim myself as being "from" Toronto.
Everytime someone here asks me where am I from, I genuinely don't know how to answer them.
Do I say I'm from India? Well, I haven't gone back once in these 5 years, and I do feel more at home here in Toronto than I would in India, so I'm not sure that's fair. So do I then say I'm from Toronto? But that feels almost like cheating - I didn't have a childhood here, I have no stories to recall from school trips, so how can I lay claim to this beautiful city?
I am coming to accept that I truly belong from nowhere. That I have transient experiences that stretch from Delhi to Mumbai to Chandigarh to Toronto to Ottawa (interned there for a year). The inherent complexity of the question "where are you from?" affords it no wrong or right answers, and at least theoretically, I should not be ashamed to claim the place I resonate with the most, or claim no place at all.
PS: Looking at the comments, it does feel nice to know that I am not the only one that somehow continues to seek a sense of belonging.
Everytime someone here asks me where am I from, I genuinely don't know how to answer them.
Do I say I'm from India? Well, I haven't gone back once in these 5 years, and I do feel more at home here in Toronto than I would in India, so I'm not sure that's fair. So do I then say I'm from Toronto? But that feels almost like cheating - I didn't have a childhood here, I have no stories to recall from school trips, so how can I lay claim to this beautiful city?
I am coming to accept that I truly belong from nowhere. That I have transient experiences that stretch from Delhi to Mumbai to Chandigarh to Toronto to Ottawa (interned there for a year). The inherent complexity of the question "where are you from?" affords it no wrong or right answers, and at least theoretically, I should not be ashamed to claim the place I resonate with the most, or claim no place at all.
PS: Looking at the comments, it does feel nice to know that I am not the only one that somehow continues to seek a sense of belonging.
First, it is normal to question where your belong and how your multiple experience, background and culture integrated construct your identity and your feeling to belong somewhere. This somewhere can multiple and also everywhere but feeling to belong nowhere is mostly due to the peer pressure to self-identity to only one element of your identity (being your culture, your skin tone, your born country, etc.) that feels like restraining yourself as one tiny part of the multiple identities you carry and have constructed.
One essential essay that really helped me and can not stop to suggest is "In the Name of Identity: Violence and the Need to Belong" by Amin Maalouf [1][2] The original title in French is "Les identités meurtrières" translated as "the murderous identities".
If I may, you are belonging from everywhere that feels home in a way or the other. And the more abroad you'll be, the more home will take multiple dimensions and it's okay. When someone ask you, you can answer "India and Canada" and let's them deal with it, not you :).
With my partner, we cover the ground about the identity questions : me being a second-generation son of arab's parent in an UE country, her being, like you, from a east-asian country but living abroad for 5-6 years now. The question of home, identity and where we belong is common and the answers morph based on where and how we live.
For me is funny, because when I identify myself from the city I was born and raised in UE, I got question about my origins like it is the "correct answer" but if someone from that city hears me speaking, they can't doubt I am from here because I used a lot of the specific slang/dialect from there. It happened a few time ago where a old man helping my mom told that "I can hear you are from here". On the flip coin, I also speak the dialectal Arab from my parent region (albeit with a UE accent) so people speaking Arab can identify from which region/country I must come from. So most of the time, I answer both and let people ask the uncomfortable questions about their conception of identities and where I belong/from themself. But that does not mean that I have dealed with my identity myself, I am still constructing it and trying to gather the different pieces together and glue them, especially now that I am living in yet another country :)
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_the_Name_of_Identity
[2] https://www.amazon.com/Name-Identity-Violence-Need-Belong/dp...
One essential essay that really helped me and can not stop to suggest is "In the Name of Identity: Violence and the Need to Belong" by Amin Maalouf [1][2] The original title in French is "Les identités meurtrières" translated as "the murderous identities".
If I may, you are belonging from everywhere that feels home in a way or the other. And the more abroad you'll be, the more home will take multiple dimensions and it's okay. When someone ask you, you can answer "India and Canada" and let's them deal with it, not you :).
With my partner, we cover the ground about the identity questions : me being a second-generation son of arab's parent in an UE country, her being, like you, from a east-asian country but living abroad for 5-6 years now. The question of home, identity and where we belong is common and the answers morph based on where and how we live.
For me is funny, because when I identify myself from the city I was born and raised in UE, I got question about my origins like it is the "correct answer" but if someone from that city hears me speaking, they can't doubt I am from here because I used a lot of the specific slang/dialect from there. It happened a few time ago where a old man helping my mom told that "I can hear you are from here". On the flip coin, I also speak the dialectal Arab from my parent region (albeit with a UE accent) so people speaking Arab can identify from which region/country I must come from. So most of the time, I answer both and let people ask the uncomfortable questions about their conception of identities and where I belong/from themself. But that does not mean that I have dealed with my identity myself, I am still constructing it and trying to gather the different pieces together and glue them, especially now that I am living in yet another country :)
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_the_Name_of_Identity
[2] https://www.amazon.com/Name-Identity-Violence-Need-Belong/dp...
I think you're overthinking the "where are you from" question. While I do agree that moving at 18 isn't as clear-cut as say, 30+, in your case most people would safely say you're from India, having been born there and lived the majority of your years there. However, your home would now be Toronto, and you if you have Canadian citizenship no-one should bat any eyebrows at you calling yourself Canadian.
I don't think OP is overthinking it at all. Home is not just a question of place of living but a question of identity and belonging. I'm guessing integrating into society in Toronto is difficult for OP so there's weak feeling of belonging in Toronto.
You're right in that home is also a question of identity and belonging. It's just that while I would say that I am fairly well adjusted to Toronto (heck I started playing hockey on a frozen pond this past winter), there's always going to be this "vacuum" of sorts (just from the virtue of not having had any roots here whatsoever) that keeps me from feeling like I can say I am from here. Its a question of making peace with it, is all :)
If the issue is not having roots you can always buy some real estate :)
That's mixing things up. There was no question of home, belonging or feelings.
The simple simple answer to the simple question of where he's from may depend on the context asked in. Say he's in Toronto and someone asks where he is from. Simple answer: India.
Let's say he's in Ottawa, say for a training course or something. Same question asked. Simple answer: I'm from India but I've been living in Toronto for 5 years.
If he's doing a PR or citizenship, add that: I'm from India but live in Toronto and I'm doing my citizenship process right now.
It's really not that hard and yes the guy is overthinking it if you ask me. I've been in that situation. It's really easy to answer. He may get asked more often because he's a 'visible minority' but otherwise it's the same.
The question was not: where do you feel at home? or something in that direction.
If he was born and raised in Toronto (say his parents came to Canada from India) then because he's a visible minority people might expect him to answer "from India" while answering "from Canada" would make it clear what his situation is. One might answer "from Canada, born and raised in Toronto but my parents came over from India in the 70s" (or some such).
The simple simple answer to the simple question of where he's from may depend on the context asked in. Say he's in Toronto and someone asks where he is from. Simple answer: India.
Let's say he's in Ottawa, say for a training course or something. Same question asked. Simple answer: I'm from India but I've been living in Toronto for 5 years.
If he's doing a PR or citizenship, add that: I'm from India but live in Toronto and I'm doing my citizenship process right now.
It's really not that hard and yes the guy is overthinking it if you ask me. I've been in that situation. It's really easy to answer. He may get asked more often because he's a 'visible minority' but otherwise it's the same.
The question was not: where do you feel at home? or something in that direction.
If he was born and raised in Toronto (say his parents came to Canada from India) then because he's a visible minority people might expect him to answer "from India" while answering "from Canada" would make it clear what his situation is. One might answer "from Canada, born and raised in Toronto but my parents came over from India in the 70s" (or some such).
As someone who grew up in Toronto, moved to Ottawa for University, and returned to the GTA for work, the thing that makes Toronto (especially the neighbourhood where I grew up) feel like home is a combination of deep familiarity with the city, a diverse set of memories of happy times untainted by adversary danger that are geographically rooted here, a strong sense of familiarity with assistive services, and (at least memories of) a strong social network.
In my case, being engaged with church was probably the most successful driver of these things. I'm in a very different place in terms of metaphysical beliefs now than I was growing up, but I can't deny the strong network effects of regularly meeting with a group of people that seek ostensibly compatible goals of self-improvement through empathy, service, and self-congratulation.
In my case, being engaged with church was probably the most successful driver of these things. I'm in a very different place in terms of metaphysical beliefs now than I was growing up, but I can't deny the strong network effects of regularly meeting with a group of people that seek ostensibly compatible goals of self-improvement through empathy, service, and self-congratulation.
I was born in Toronto, moved around a bunch as a kid, and Toronto just never felt like home. If I was going to Toronto, I'd never say "I'm going home to Toronto". I moved to Whistler, BC when I was 20, and lived there most of my life.
I now live in Sydney, Australia, and when I say "I'm going home", I mean I'm going to Whistler, not Toronto. Whistler feels like home.
Yet, when I say "I'm from Whistler", people always say "you were born there?" which is very rare, so I have to explain that I moved around a bunch and didn't have a place that felt like "home", which people then discount.
It's very strange, but at the same time, I've read a few people suggest that you're "from" the first place you consciously decided to move from and stayed.
I now live in Sydney, Australia, and when I say "I'm going home", I mean I'm going to Whistler, not Toronto. Whistler feels like home.
Yet, when I say "I'm from Whistler", people always say "you were born there?" which is very rare, so I have to explain that I moved around a bunch and didn't have a place that felt like "home", which people then discount.
It's very strange, but at the same time, I've read a few people suggest that you're "from" the first place you consciously decided to move from and stayed.
I don't think its that strange. Its just a side effect of those people who are and think of themselves as "from" where they grew up or first moved to projecting their way of thinking onto others. It's easier for them to shoehorn their version of your story/situation into their mental framework than it is to adapt their mental framework to handle your story/situation.
I still catch myself unecessarily projecting my way of thinking onto situations which distorts what is actually going on or loses information, just because its easier to do - not because its correct or fair.
They can misunderstand you, but they don't get to decide how you define 'home' to yourself, even if they discredit you.
I still catch myself unecessarily projecting my way of thinking onto situations which distorts what is actually going on or loses information, just because its easier to do - not because its correct or fair.
They can misunderstand you, but they don't get to decide how you define 'home' to yourself, even if they discredit you.
I’ve read the comments also. I can connect - having left India in 07 for US. Can’t we have “multi-homes”? Out of all these 14 years, I’ve lived in Chicago for 10. It feels home now. When I’m here, I don’t feel like going to India, and when I’m there, I don’t feel like coming back here. So, It’s tough.
When someone asks me - “where am I from?”. I say - India. Because, I do not have native US speaking skills and I also want to remain connected with my roots.
When someone asks me - “where am I from?”. I say - India. Because, I do not have native US speaking skills and I also want to remain connected with my roots.
I'm trying to accept that "from" is an open ended term in that context. If somebody asks a question like that, they should be prepared for a conversation and maybe a story. If they get annoyed and want to boil it down to a specific question, then fuck them for trying to reductively label another person.
Suggestion: Answer the question figuratively, not literally: "I call Toronto home", or "I call Toronto home, though I was born in India."
The question "where are you from" is vague. I think it always depends on the context and your current location. Like if you are living in Toronto and took a trip to the US, I think it's appropriate to answer Toronto. If your in a bar in Toronto and someone asks you that, I think it would be misleading to say your from Toronto as that would imply you grew up there.
I just think of the question as a conversation starter I guess, give as little or as much info as you want to give the asker lol
I just think of the question as a conversation starter I guess, give as little or as much info as you want to give the asker lol
Where you are from is a relative question.
If you are in the US you might say Canada. If you are in BC you might say Toronto or Ontario If you at the University of Guelph you might say UofT If you are in Toronto you might say India If you are in India in a different region you might say goa If you are in goa you might say your village name If you are in your village you might point to an area or your street If on your street you might give the number
Where you are from is closest place that is different to the other person.
If you are in the US you might say Canada. If you are in BC you might say Toronto or Ontario If you at the University of Guelph you might say UofT If you are in Toronto you might say India If you are in India in a different region you might say goa If you are in goa you might say your village name If you are in your village you might point to an area or your street If on your street you might give the number
Where you are from is closest place that is different to the other person.
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Tbh I think four year into your adult life is quite a short amount of time to start claiming you’re from there. Maybe it’s cultural, but in America/Mexico or Europe that’d come off very strange and probably be met with eye rolls.
I think you’re affording far too much into the question- they probably just want to know where you were born.
But do you- nothing wrong with following the beat of your own drum.
I think you’re affording far too much into the question- they probably just want to know where you were born.
But do you- nothing wrong with following the beat of your own drum.
I have always loved Japan. I visited once, and made plans to move there. I lived in the heart of Tokyo for three years. I made a lot of friends, but being a white American, I came to grasps that I would always be a Gaijin, and that I would never fit in, no mater how well I spoke Japanese or adopted to their customs. I left Japan to focus on my future somewhere back in America. 10 years later I booked a three week trip in Japan. Upon returning, it was bitter sweet. Most of the friends I had, had moved on. The city was now very touristy. And while I loved the food and culture, I knew that I would never live in Japan again. But I still love it more than anything.
This is a virtual mirror of my history with Japan: three years (except I was in the rural 'burbs for 2/3 of it), have returned to visit friends a couple times, but it's always bittersweet. In fact, almost everyone I know who was there for two-plus years have told me they experience this.
The one good thing about being an outsider there is people who would be guarded towards other Japanese really seem to open up if one is warm and receptive. I've had friends confide things in my they wouldn't tell their families, and I've had more than one sit-down drink with gangsters that saw me, presumably, as a novelty. It's like, "he's an outsider who's leaving soon, so why not?"
The one good thing about being an outsider there is people who would be guarded towards other Japanese really seem to open up if one is warm and receptive. I've had friends confide things in my they wouldn't tell their families, and I've had more than one sit-down drink with gangsters that saw me, presumably, as a novelty. It's like, "he's an outsider who's leaving soon, so why not?"
Similar story, I had a friend who was born in Korea, came to the USA as a child, and was deported back to Korea at age forty. He felt like an outsider there, and four years later, committed suicide after a bout with depression.
That sounds horrible, normally the courts show leniency in these cases as deporting someone that old is basically a death sentence.
Was he not able to hire a lawyer?
Was he not able to hire a lawyer?
Multiple felonies. His family here hired an immigration lawyer to get him back but they couldn’t make it happen.
I have a friend from Japan who has lived in the US for over 25 years or so. A couple years ago he went back to visit family and said that people were treating him very strangely because he is Japanese and speaks the language, but he was having to ask people how to do everyday things like buy train tickets because everything is so different from when he grew up there.
Something that helped me in Hong Kong (am French) was also to marry very local, and have a child. First, that helps for all that very difficult negociation in Cantonese on rent price, bill setup and all the crap the employees are a bit lazy to translate for you.
But it also gives you an unremovable link to the country. Yes I'll be a Gweilo forever in their eyes, and they barely understand when I say I'm more Chinese now than their children who spent less time here, and paid no taxes.
I guess it's fine not to fit in perfectly, it's not very important: when you make a choice to immigrate, your reasons for doing so must be both about the new country but also the old one. I have no qualms saying I gave away France, I left it knowing what I was abandonning and why, and now I can only move forward.
It's also true that I never fit in in France: I was anti-socialist, from a family that has owned small businesses for generations, believe in capitalism, free market, all these stuff that made me always make enemies in France.
Maybe I'm a gweilo, but I think all the same things they do, and I'd defend the country just as well as them.
But it also gives you an unremovable link to the country. Yes I'll be a Gweilo forever in their eyes, and they barely understand when I say I'm more Chinese now than their children who spent less time here, and paid no taxes.
I guess it's fine not to fit in perfectly, it's not very important: when you make a choice to immigrate, your reasons for doing so must be both about the new country but also the old one. I have no qualms saying I gave away France, I left it knowing what I was abandonning and why, and now I can only move forward.
It's also true that I never fit in in France: I was anti-socialist, from a family that has owned small businesses for generations, believe in capitalism, free market, all these stuff that made me always make enemies in France.
Maybe I'm a gweilo, but I think all the same things they do, and I'd defend the country just as well as them.
I feel you. Having lived in HK for 8 years now. I hold a permanent HKID, and consider HK my home. I've been trough the protests in 2014, and the ones in 2019, it was mentally draining because it's hard to discuss these subjects with locals. To them, you're just a foreigner that can leave any time he wants. When you disagree on certain political things, you'll often hear; "you're just a foreigner, you don't understand", and there's nothing you can say to that.
I've come to terms with it tho, accepting that even though this is my home, I'll never be truly accepted or be able to fit in.
But I also think this has made me a better person. Having experienced racism multiple times here, I'm much more aware of my own actions.
I've come to terms with it tho, accepting that even though this is my home, I'll never be truly accepted or be able to fit in.
But I also think this has made me a better person. Having experienced racism multiple times here, I'm much more aware of my own actions.
Do you feel like being considered a gaijin was a form of racism towards you?
Why do you think skin color is the driving factor? People normally consider each other aliens even if they have the same skin color.
I'm asking OP if they do because of this line:
>being a white American, I came to grasps that I would always be a Gaijin,
>being a white American, I came to grasps that I would always be a Gaijin,
I find that Americans give to much weight to the skin color, it has the historical reasons there but often can't be applied in the same way outside the US.
I thought they specified as they could've been Asian American, not because their race is the cause.
Not OP, but somewhat similar situation and conclusion.
Racism is too strong a word, it's more like sticking out. Like if you're the only one in large group who has black hair, or doesn't have a beard, or is a childless adult, or is religious, the assumptions of the group will from time to time remind you (and perhaps others) that you're unusual. I believe those are what are called micro-aggressions, though there need not be anything antagonistic about them.
It's fun to be different, exotic even, but it's also tiring, especially once the novelty has worn off and you just want to live like everyone else.
Racism is too strong a word, it's more like sticking out. Like if you're the only one in large group who has black hair, or doesn't have a beard, or is a childless adult, or is religious, the assumptions of the group will from time to time remind you (and perhaps others) that you're unusual. I believe those are what are called micro-aggressions, though there need not be anything antagonistic about them.
It's fun to be different, exotic even, but it's also tiring, especially once the novelty has worn off and you just want to live like everyone else.
I felt this way visiting Pakistan last year. I’m a 6’5”, 120kg white dude. People asked to take a photo with me up to 10 times per day. I’d never felt so exotic in my life.
I've been to Japan a few times and it is nothing like that. People are very rigidly polite in public. You may feel self-conscious because you stick out like a sore thumb, having to duck under lights and doorways and stuff, but people will eerily act like it's totally common to see that.
The "little tokyo" neighborhood of a large North American city would probably be a comfortable place.
I kind of have always felt like an outsider in the culture I grew up in. So I actually prefer to be in a country where I am visibly an outsider because it feels more congruent and weird behavior from me is also easier to excuse or accept.
I feel the same as you. I grew up as a kid with parents in the Foreign Service, so we country-hopped every year or so until I was a teen, when we moved back to the US.
That was (by far) the most difficult move, because there was no longer an obvious indicator that I wasn't from wherever there was. Acculturation was difficult.
Honestly, I never felt bad about being a foreigner anywhere else. Most people didn't care, and of those who did, most were honestly curious, and it was a fun way to start a conversation and potentially make a new friend. Negative attention was present, too, but the friendly outweighed the suspicious by a large margin.
That was (by far) the most difficult move, because there was no longer an obvious indicator that I wasn't from wherever there was. Acculturation was difficult.
Honestly, I never felt bad about being a foreigner anywhere else. Most people didn't care, and of those who did, most were honestly curious, and it was a fun way to start a conversation and potentially make a new friend. Negative attention was present, too, but the friendly outweighed the suspicious by a large margin.
i had that experience as well, but i noticed that once i had a family i didn't care about that anymore, and i also feel that the older i get, the more i get to attribute differences to my age
Getting old works for me too! I don't give a f..k anymore. But I still find it easier to live as an obvious stranger.
I never felt at home anywhere and I never felt to be part of a group.
Somehow people around me always think the opposite. They're telling me I'm their best friend or at least that they value my attendance.
Overall, I'm okay with this. When I have to move or leave a group, I usually don't miss what I've left. I have the impression my life gets better when it changes.
But sometimes I think if my life would be better if I was more invested in belonging.
Somehow people around me always think the opposite. They're telling me I'm their best friend or at least that they value my attendance.
Overall, I'm okay with this. When I have to move or leave a group, I usually don't miss what I've left. I have the impression my life gets better when it changes.
But sometimes I think if my life would be better if I was more invested in belonging.
I’ve got a similar feeling. I’ve been friends with many people from different from different social categories but I’ve never felt I belonged to any particular group or place. At the time, somehow, I feel like a citizen belinging everywhere as I find joy in authenticity and have no trouble finding it in the most deserted or dilapidated places. Did you also feel like a wanderer? I think this is directly related to our personalities and no matter what you run into you’ll never get the feeling you you belong.
I think, the authenticity thing is true for me.
I rarely do smalltalk, I talk about what interests me, usually the people I'm currently talking with.
I rarely do smalltalk, I talk about what interests me, usually the people I'm currently talking with.
I moved from the US to Germany and lived there for almost 7 years. Even as someone with German ancestry (from 5 generations ago), a German last name, and enough language skills to get by, you never really fit in. Germans are insular in a way that, I suppose, all people are, but a special kind of matter-of-fact curtness that is off-putting. Younger Germans are embarrassed by it and make a show of welcoming outsiders (e.g. the Syrian refugee situation), but deep down, the Germans don't want Germany being overrun by immigrants. I heard as much even from eastern Europeans who lived their whole lives in Germany.
I had to eventually move away, for various reasons, but being in a foreign land, alone, is alienating by default. You never really know the rules or customs, you have no shared cultural background, like TV shows or games, and the nuance of a foreign language is so deep.
I had to eventually move away, for various reasons, but being in a foreign land, alone, is alienating by default. You never really know the rules or customs, you have no shared cultural background, like TV shows or games, and the nuance of a foreign language is so deep.
I don’t think there is any country in the world that is truly and completely welcoming to immigrants. One is always the outsider. However what’s important to realise is that this is the default situation for most people, even is they just move town in their home country (although to a lesser extent).
The one that you hear complaints about the most (the USA) comes in fact closest.
country is a red flag here.
i don’t think there is a group of humans with a shared identity that is truly and completely welcoming to people outside of that identity.
which is why i don’t enjoy making country a part of my identity.
i don’t think there is a group of humans with a shared identity that is truly and completely welcoming to people outside of that identity.
which is why i don’t enjoy making country a part of my identity.
I tend to feel the same. The concept of a "nation" seems to be at the source of many problems as the world shifts to globalism. It really only works by creating a divide between "them" and "us". It helps instilling a sense of belonging and a base level of trust in a group of people, but inevitably nationalism becomes a problem when people would like to move between these nations.
The EU is actually trying very hard to facilitate moving betwen member nations, but it faces a lot of headwind from people in all countries who would prefer staying in their bubble. Brexit is probably the most impactful result of this tension.
Funny enough since quite a few EU member nations have not existed 150 or 200 years ago, and the nation concept has the additional third reich connotation especially in Germany. This is in stark contrast with the UK, which has existed as a nation for a much, much longer time.
The EU is actually trying very hard to facilitate moving betwen member nations, but it faces a lot of headwind from people in all countries who would prefer staying in their bubble. Brexit is probably the most impactful result of this tension.
Funny enough since quite a few EU member nations have not existed 150 or 200 years ago, and the nation concept has the additional third reich connotation especially in Germany. This is in stark contrast with the UK, which has existed as a nation for a much, much longer time.
I don't know of a single EU member state that its citizens consider to exist for less than 400 years. Europe focuses on nationalism unconnected to states (modern states were established after WW2 by historic national borders), and there is a strong culture of legal continuity - spanning 600+ years in most cases, 1200+ years in case of Czechia, around 1700 in case of Germany... the Holy Roman Empire claimed to be the continuation of the Roman Empire itself (and legally it was!). Even if you can't see the state on old maps, there was a subordinated but sovereign enough duchy or principality, from which practically every modern EU member state derives its right to exist and be where it is.
Amusingly, Russia is one of, if not the youngest European state if we consider this kind of continuity.
Amusingly, Russia is one of, if not the youngest European state if we consider this kind of continuity.
Germany as we know it today developed in the 1800s and its borders have changed significantly since.
Prior to that it was a couple of kingdoms, each of which changed allegiance between the various middle-European empires many times, every time there was a war or someone noble married.
Parts of Germany were occupied over long stretches of time, e.g. by the Swedish, the French, more recently the British and Americans, every time leaving an impression in the culture.
Culture in various parts of Germany in diverse, most striking is the difference between Prussia and Bavaria.
Cultural development in Germany was regionally diverse and subject to huge outside influence all the time.
If there was legal continuity then it was because the whole of Europe was governed by the same bunch of emperor families since the fall of Rome.
But this was totally decoupled from culture.
Prior to that it was a couple of kingdoms, each of which changed allegiance between the various middle-European empires many times, every time there was a war or someone noble married.
Parts of Germany were occupied over long stretches of time, e.g. by the Swedish, the French, more recently the British and Americans, every time leaving an impression in the culture.
Culture in various parts of Germany in diverse, most striking is the difference between Prussia and Bavaria.
Cultural development in Germany was regionally diverse and subject to huge outside influence all the time.
If there was legal continuity then it was because the whole of Europe was governed by the same bunch of emperor families since the fall of Rome.
But this was totally decoupled from culture.
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quite a few EU member nations have not existed 150 or 200 years ago
which gives us an estimate for how long it might take until those differences disappear. the EU in it's current form (with freedom of movement within, promoting a shared identity) has only existed for a few decades. so maybe another half a century, give or take a decades or two.
which gives us an estimate for how long it might take until those differences disappear. the EU in it's current form (with freedom of movement within, promoting a shared identity) has only existed for a few decades. so maybe another half a century, give or take a decades or two.
I think trying to make those differences go away is the wrong approach. It would be better to accept and embrace them. It requires breaking down preconceptions and unconscious bias about "others", which is generally a hard thing for humans, unfortunately.
oh, that i agree with. i certainly didn't mean that the different unique aspects to each region should go away, but the identities connected to them.
i meant differences as in disagreements. those differences that make us argue and fight.
we should not be proud to love our country, but to love the whole world.
and that indeed requires to accept and embrace all of human diversity. the european union is possibly a step towards that goal.
i meant differences as in disagreements. those differences that make us argue and fight.
we should not be proud to love our country, but to love the whole world.
and that indeed requires to accept and embrace all of human diversity. the european union is possibly a step towards that goal.
As an Austrian living in Germany I actually manage to not have them notice that I am from a country who was their enemy for centuries. Of course if I were to speak with my Austrian dialect they would barely understand me, but I don't, so whenever I bring it up they are usually quite surprised.
It also depends on your social circles and where in Germany you are. If you are in Berlin or Hamburg being German won't matter too much. If you are in the suburbs of shouthern or eastern German cities, much more so. If you are in the creative world of Berlin you might get away without talking German at all.
Given it's comparedly small size Germany has a surprisingly diverse regional culture, which is why people who know the regions well usually lough at the idea of something that is "real German". Or as the Austrians say it: "What divides us from the Germans, is the common language" and I'd argue Bavarian and northern German culture is equally far apart.
It also depends on your social circles and where in Germany you are. If you are in Berlin or Hamburg being German won't matter too much. If you are in the suburbs of shouthern or eastern German cities, much more so. If you are in the creative world of Berlin you might get away without talking German at all.
Given it's comparedly small size Germany has a surprisingly diverse regional culture, which is why people who know the regions well usually lough at the idea of something that is "real German". Or as the Austrians say it: "What divides us from the Germans, is the common language" and I'd argue Bavarian and northern German culture is equally far apart.
It has completely normal regional culture, it's all the other places with less of it that never developed it (US) or actively homogenized it (France, Russia...).
Precisely! Also, most southern Germans will understand your Austrian tongue very well. Berlin is full of “immigrants” from southern Germany, but they will go great lengths to hide it, for fear of being made fun of. The moral barrier that keeps most Germans from making fun of immigrants from other countries is void if they detect a “funny” German accent.
For me it is actually not fear of being made fun of, it is just that I don't like to repeat myself because I am not understood. Talking in a way where people understand what you are saying has tangible benefits.
My home dialect is so far removed from "propper written German" that to me it just feels like talking a different language, which arguably makes things easier, because it doesn't feel like I am adjusting my Austrian German to make it fit, it feels like I am talking in a different language altogether.
My home dialect is so far removed from "propper written German" that to me it just feels like talking a different language, which arguably makes things easier, because it doesn't feel like I am adjusting my Austrian German to make it fit, it feels like I am talking in a different language altogether.
I agree... I always find it a little sad that Germany fails to embrace the diversity of its local dialects. When I grew up in the south of Germany I could tell which village someone was from after listening to a couple of sentences they spoke.
But when moving away one must quench that local dialect and try to speak "hochdeutsch" ("high-german")—Otherwise one can't even buy bread in a bakery without being called out as the "swabian" (which seems to be the catch-all for all southern dialects in Northern Germany). Compare that to Switzerland, where people proudly speak their "Mundart" wherever they go (and are wound up by high-German speaking immigrants).
Germany has such a wonderful regional diversity, but at the same time that inherent hostility against it... and Germans are, for some reason, super-afraid to discuss it.
But when moving away one must quench that local dialect and try to speak "hochdeutsch" ("high-german")—Otherwise one can't even buy bread in a bakery without being called out as the "swabian" (which seems to be the catch-all for all southern dialects in Northern Germany). Compare that to Switzerland, where people proudly speak their "Mundart" wherever they go (and are wound up by high-German speaking immigrants).
Germany has such a wonderful regional diversity, but at the same time that inherent hostility against it... and Germans are, for some reason, super-afraid to discuss it.
Not only "fear of being made fun of", also "not becoming a target for terrorist acts". In some Berlin districts, having the "wrong" license plate is making it likely to get your car torched.
These are maybe five blocks in a distinct Kreuzberg neighbourhood which has gone from low rent to being among the most expensive parts of Berlin, within a decade. The inhabitants often have no choice but to move far away in Berlin, giving up their home. Many of them are very angry and have nothing to lose.
Especially with Germany, this also is a cultural phenomeon - even for Germans, it is surprisingly hard to get into a group you are not a member of (especially if you go into the less hip, super-urban areas of Berlin, Cologne, Hamburg or Munich). Getting into the pack is hard, but once you're in, you got friends for life.
I can only imagine how hard that is for a foreigner.
I can only imagine how hard that is for a foreigner.
I found it equally hard to "get in the pack" whether I moved town within Germany, or moved to France, or to the UK, or within the UK.
No matter where, it was always easiest to find friends among people who themselves have moved around a lot. People who always lived in the same place will almost always have their wall up, especially if they have the feeling that too many foreigners invade their home town.
No matter where, it was always easiest to find friends among people who themselves have moved around a lot. People who always lived in the same place will almost always have their wall up, especially if they have the feeling that too many foreigners invade their home town.
It's tempting to hold ones own N=1 for the generic case, but off course that can never be true.
I have found that variability within countries is higher than between (Western) countries. Which does not mean there are no mean differences, but with a limited sampling size you can get a very wrong impression.
Same reason you cannot possibly judge your own country BTW: you can't pass for an outsider, and you will have that almost innate shared set of references.
I have found that variability within countries is higher than between (Western) countries. Which does not mean there are no mean differences, but with a limited sampling size you can get a very wrong impression.
Same reason you cannot possibly judge your own country BTW: you can't pass for an outsider, and you will have that almost innate shared set of references.
I think your experience as an outsider is really going to depend on how you socialize, how much you do it, with whom, and other specific aspects of your situation. Such as which specific businesses you frequent.
Some specific people will treat you more warmly than others. Some neighborhoods or neighbors will have more culture in common and with yours.
That's the experience that I've had living in a few different parts of the US and Mexico.
One thing that mitigates all of that a bit is the internet. Hacker News, for example, is the same place for everyone, in a way.
For me, I have always had poor social skills and little integration into communities, so it's not a big difference really. Other people who thrive on constant face-to-face social interaction may find things like language or cultural barriers to be more of an issue. But again, really depends who you are talking to. If the locals seem put off by your accent or something, the next bar over may be full of Americans if you are near a tourist area.
But on a deeper level, there certainly are real social consequences of being an outsider, as well as potentially a psychological disconnect if things always feel slightly off from the world that your brain grew up in.
Some specific people will treat you more warmly than others. Some neighborhoods or neighbors will have more culture in common and with yours.
That's the experience that I've had living in a few different parts of the US and Mexico.
One thing that mitigates all of that a bit is the internet. Hacker News, for example, is the same place for everyone, in a way.
For me, I have always had poor social skills and little integration into communities, so it's not a big difference really. Other people who thrive on constant face-to-face social interaction may find things like language or cultural barriers to be more of an issue. But again, really depends who you are talking to. If the locals seem put off by your accent or something, the next bar over may be full of Americans if you are near a tourist area.
But on a deeper level, there certainly are real social consequences of being an outsider, as well as potentially a psychological disconnect if things always feel slightly off from the world that your brain grew up in.
> I think your experience as an outsider is really going to depend on how you socialize ...
I'd disagree. Sometimes it's about who you are, not about what you do. In some societies you can blend in easily (like San Francisco), in some -- there's no chance, no matter what you do.
I'd disagree. Sometimes it's about who you are, not about what you do. In some societies you can blend in easily (like San Francisco), in some -- there's no chance, no matter what you do.
True that some societies are much more open or blending in is easier.
Still think most of the other things I said apply if you include all of the context rather than just what you quoted.
Still think most of the other things I said apply if you include all of the context rather than just what you quoted.
You can change who you are. Really. In fact if you immigrate, I'd argue you must.
You'll never change your physical appearance, but you can change everything else, your name, your language, your ideas. Don't immigrate if you don't love the local customs so much you're ready to die for them.
You'll never change your physical appearance, but you can change everything else, your name, your language, your ideas. Don't immigrate if you don't love the local customs so much you're ready to die for them.
i found it helpful to join groups with activities of interest to me. for example in all the cities where i lived, i joined local linux user groups which always helped me to find friends.
those people often see themselves as outsiders as well, so they share your feelings even if they are locals. welcome to the local outsiders club. hackerspaces work like that too.
other not so popular activities work as well. if you play an instrument, irish folk sessions are easy to join. you don't even need to talk to anyone, just join in to play and you'll be welcome.
if you have kids, boy/girl scouts can be good to. if your kids have trouble finding friends in school, then being part of such a group will help them find a few kids that they have a special interest in common with.
martial arts i believe are also a good choice because they have a stronger focus on discipline and mutual respect than groups that just meet for fun. you can focus on your training while meeting people with the same interest.
those people often see themselves as outsiders as well, so they share your feelings even if they are locals. welcome to the local outsiders club. hackerspaces work like that too.
other not so popular activities work as well. if you play an instrument, irish folk sessions are easy to join. you don't even need to talk to anyone, just join in to play and you'll be welcome.
if you have kids, boy/girl scouts can be good to. if your kids have trouble finding friends in school, then being part of such a group will help them find a few kids that they have a special interest in common with.
martial arts i believe are also a good choice because they have a stronger focus on discipline and mutual respect than groups that just meet for fun. you can focus on your training while meeting people with the same interest.
Having been exposed to the internet at a very young age, I feel like an outsider in my own country and culture. There's just too much difference with others (hobbies, interests, way of thought... nearly everything), too much things I miss / don't (can't?) understand, and a lingering mental feeling that "I don't belong here". It's a really cold feeling that is always just there.
I was always lonely, but sometimes some people would be friendly towards me, and I'd feel sad... "Come play <some sport or a local game> with us," they'd say. "I would love to.... but I can't. I don't belong here," I'd think. Of course, I couldn't reply with that.
I don't really belong / resonate with foreign cultures either. The internet (at least the part I was on most of the time) is mostly Western, but there are many differences still.
My 'home' has become with individuals, instead. Some people really resonate with me and make me feel that I belong with them, that I am not a stranger, not an outsider. They are extremely rare, but they're here; parent and siblings, along with some very close friends. And I am honestly very thankful for their presence.
Communities like HN as well don't give me the "I don't belong here" feeling. I don't know why... maybe because I grew up with communities like this? (I grew up with the old forum boards of old. It's a shame that most are dead now.) Or maybe because these communities are mostly defined by their contributors, their users, and so I don't feel like a stranger? I am not sure, honestly.
I have been wanting to write about this for a while in full detail, but I haven't had the time unfortunately.
I was always lonely, but sometimes some people would be friendly towards me, and I'd feel sad... "Come play <some sport or a local game> with us," they'd say. "I would love to.... but I can't. I don't belong here," I'd think. Of course, I couldn't reply with that.
I don't really belong / resonate with foreign cultures either. The internet (at least the part I was on most of the time) is mostly Western, but there are many differences still.
My 'home' has become with individuals, instead. Some people really resonate with me and make me feel that I belong with them, that I am not a stranger, not an outsider. They are extremely rare, but they're here; parent and siblings, along with some very close friends. And I am honestly very thankful for their presence.
Communities like HN as well don't give me the "I don't belong here" feeling. I don't know why... maybe because I grew up with communities like this? (I grew up with the old forum boards of old. It's a shame that most are dead now.) Or maybe because these communities are mostly defined by their contributors, their users, and so I don't feel like a stranger? I am not sure, honestly.
I have been wanting to write about this for a while in full detail, but I haven't had the time unfortunately.
I don't know what you country is, but I've felt the same way as soon as I started understanding English, a semi-rare feat at the time in my city/region (Normandy, France). I've felt so alienated, having all my private life in English (news, podcast, books, discussions online) that after trying to make my gf of 6 years follow a bit, I decide to give it all up and move to a more English-speaking country (Hong Kong).
This was not the ONLY reason of course, but after having left behind all this frenchness, I have never felt so at home. Which is funny because there's nothing more foreign than a Normandy guy in Hong Kong, but at least here everything is in English, everyone speaks it to some extent while having another main language (so just like me).
I'll always be a foreigner in the eyes of Chinese people, for sure, but I'll never find a place with some many people like me, they even are majority right wing capitalists like me, something very rare in France :D
This was not the ONLY reason of course, but after having left behind all this frenchness, I have never felt so at home. Which is funny because there's nothing more foreign than a Normandy guy in Hong Kong, but at least here everything is in English, everyone speaks it to some extent while having another main language (so just like me).
I'll always be a foreigner in the eyes of Chinese people, for sure, but I'll never find a place with some many people like me, they even are majority right wing capitalists like me, something very rare in France :D
I wasn't born in my home country, and hadn't moved there permanently until I started primary school.
It's such a weird feeling to be an outsider among people who speak your language.
But there are upsides to this - not being too attached to a specific place allowed me to take advantage of a few unique opportunities.
It's such a weird feeling to be an outsider among people who speak your language.
But there are upsides to this - not being too attached to a specific place allowed me to take advantage of a few unique opportunities.
I feel like there is a lot of mixture between being an outsider and alienated versus being lonely.
Being lonely has become such a huge factor in (especially young) people's lifes, because they need to hop cities for university and later jobs a few times before they start settling down, that a lot of the friends they make have moved away, or they themselves moved away from their friends and it's hard to find new friends. Sometimes your only new social interactions are at work, and in a country like Germany where work and private are strictly separated at first, this is a double whammy.
It also affects very old people, whose friends have died and whose children and their friends have moved away.
Solitude is endemic in the west.
Being lonely has become such a huge factor in (especially young) people's lifes, because they need to hop cities for university and later jobs a few times before they start settling down, that a lot of the friends they make have moved away, or they themselves moved away from their friends and it's hard to find new friends. Sometimes your only new social interactions are at work, and in a country like Germany where work and private are strictly separated at first, this is a double whammy.
It also affects very old people, whose friends have died and whose children and their friends have moved away.
Solitude is endemic in the west.
Born in the soviet union, moved to America as a refugee when I was a baby with my parents due to threats from the mafia. Later in life moved to Germany, where I still live today. I "grew up" Russian, I went to school American and I now am trying to fit into Germany. My (soon to be) wife is French. I cant speak any language properly any more (Russian, German, French, English) and have nowhere where I can clearly identify as "home". I feel the most at home in Germany, but I am clearly an outsider here and will always be (even if in some cases people don't notice I'm not German). Can totally understand this article, hits close to home.
My parents were taken in as refugees by the US when they were in their early twenties and now, over forty years later, they still wonder if it was the right decision to stay here. They've made it to the middle-class and that's a pretty amazing thing, but they know this isn't their home. To go back, even for a visit, is too painful. So much time has past that it's hard to say what there is to even return to.
> they still wonder if it was the right decision to stay here
May I ask, what are the main reasons why they wonder that? Thanks.
May I ask, what are the main reasons why they wonder that? Thanks.
I'm curious about this too.
I also live in Berlin, since about 6 years.
I think I'll always feel like an outsider here, but this city is very much my own.
Part of it comes from a personal investment in this city. I invested in its language and its bureaucracy. I have built a business with this city in its name, whose purpose is to help others who face the same bureaucratic and cultural challenges. I also moderated a Berlin-related community for a few years.
Another part is exploration. I actively seek new experiences in Berlin. I try new places, new dishes, new bike paths, new activities. I read about German culture and history, watched dozens of German movies, cooked German dishes, and all the other things.
The one missing part in my opinion is the social aspect, and I blame myself for it. I usually keep to myself, and didn't take learning German seriously enough for a while. Yet, it took me so long to make friends and become comfortable with the language that it's my strongest attachment to the city. I'm not ready to start over again.
By now if I went back to my home country, I'd feel much more alienated. I have spent the better part of my adult life in Berlin. It's where everything I built lies.
I think I'll always feel like an outsider here, but this city is very much my own.
Part of it comes from a personal investment in this city. I invested in its language and its bureaucracy. I have built a business with this city in its name, whose purpose is to help others who face the same bureaucratic and cultural challenges. I also moderated a Berlin-related community for a few years.
Another part is exploration. I actively seek new experiences in Berlin. I try new places, new dishes, new bike paths, new activities. I read about German culture and history, watched dozens of German movies, cooked German dishes, and all the other things.
The one missing part in my opinion is the social aspect, and I blame myself for it. I usually keep to myself, and didn't take learning German seriously enough for a while. Yet, it took me so long to make friends and become comfortable with the language that it's my strongest attachment to the city. I'm not ready to start over again.
By now if I went back to my home country, I'd feel much more alienated. I have spent the better part of my adult life in Berlin. It's where everything I built lies.
Of all large German cities, Berlin is probably the most unwelcoming... or rather, the Berliners are. The typical Berliner seems to take a certain pride in being unfriendly and even hostile. Funny enough, I often found that they open up when one is unfriendly to them in return. Difficult though when one is not aware of the subtleties of the language. But to be fair, it's not just non-Germans who struggle with that aspect of Berliner culture; most non-Berlin/Brandenburg Germans are irritated by it, too.
> Of all large German cities, Berlin is probably the most unwelcoming
You really think so? I was under the impression that Munich is the most unwelcoming city.
You really think so? I was under the impression that Munich is the most unwelcoming city.
Oh yes, maybe equal first place in unwelcominglyness? ;)
I do notice a difference between Berlin and Brandenburg. When I venture beyond the city limits, people greet you, and tend to make small talk more easily (not that I start it myself). It's something I also enjoyed in the south of Germany. It was certainly hard to adjust to it, coming from a small Canadian city. My favourite part of visiting North America is being friendly and chatty with everyone.
The Berliner Schnauze is certainly a real thing, but I don't think it's that common. More common perhaps is Ausländer using the term to excuse their unpleasant behaviour. I've seen that a lot more.
The Berliner Schnauze is certainly a real thing, but I don't think it's that common. More common perhaps is Ausländer using the term to excuse their unpleasant behaviour. I've seen that a lot more.
Having moved country several times in my adult life, I wish to think that calling a new place one‘s “home” is a choice. Making a new home can be very hard though. Language, common customs, ways of interaction, all must be re-learned, new friends made. I think it is this huge effort that creates the barrier of calling a new place home.
Some really nice photos in the article.
Most of them are in my neighbourhood. One is only a 2 minute walk away but I barely recognise it from the stylisation. I’ll never cease to be amazed at how the camera can create a narrative.
Spectacular use of color, sometimes in bars across the image despite the color sources not being the same. Photographers: do you see a lot of postprocessing here, or is it largely in camera?
I think there is a decent amount of postprocessing, but I don't consider that a slight against the photos. Photography is an art that takes place equally behind the camera and in the darkroom (or Lightroom as the case may be).
I see:
* Very likely quite a bit of cropping going on. The framing on the subway fight is perfect, which I imagine would be hard to pull off in the time needed while the fight was occurring.
* Also likely some perspective correction in post. The horizontal and vertical lines of the office building are damn near pixel accurate. Even with a good tilt-shift lens, I'd be surprised if that was accomplished entirely in-camera. Most lenses have some amount of distortion.
* Color correction is common but hard to strictly demonstrate. But, in general, the color in all of these is too beautiful to be real to me.
* Some HDR, but well done (which is rare). Look at the shot of the party. You can see some texture on the dark building facade, even though the illumination of that is likely several orders of magnitude darker than the windows. The texture looks sort of weird and squishy, which likely means that the brightness of the building was raised significantly in post, or possibly even a combination of two shots with different exposures.
Wonderful work.
I see:
* Very likely quite a bit of cropping going on. The framing on the subway fight is perfect, which I imagine would be hard to pull off in the time needed while the fight was occurring.
* Also likely some perspective correction in post. The horizontal and vertical lines of the office building are damn near pixel accurate. Even with a good tilt-shift lens, I'd be surprised if that was accomplished entirely in-camera. Most lenses have some amount of distortion.
* Color correction is common but hard to strictly demonstrate. But, in general, the color in all of these is too beautiful to be real to me.
* Some HDR, but well done (which is rare). Look at the shot of the party. You can see some texture on the dark building facade, even though the illumination of that is likely several orders of magnitude darker than the windows. The texture looks sort of weird and squishy, which likely means that the brightness of the building was raised significantly in post, or possibly even a combination of two shots with different exposures.
Wonderful work.
Indeed!
Great article, clarity of writing.
As a Venezuelan in Europe this feeling is eerily familiar. Including being the enjoyer of a communist utopia and whose family resisted the fascists of the 50s. Furthermore with mixed feeling on what to call home, given that what used to be home is still burning and you have family and friends still there
Kad god odlučiš da se vratiš, tu smo <3
No matter where you're from or how you look like, if you live in London, it will always feel home.
Live in this world, but be not of this world.
If you feel like a foreigner in this world, then that is a good sign. This is not ultimately your true home.
If you feel like a foreigner in this world, then that is a good sign. This is not ultimately your true home.
If my true home has people in it, I'll probably be an outsider there, too.
I'll hedge my bets here. 100 years is too long to sit on my hands.
I'll hedge my bets here. 100 years is too long to sit on my hands.
Nice one. Reminds me of "don't forget you were slaves in Egypt".
Somewhat related: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome
Although impostor syndrome is usually talked about in the context of the workplace, not being a 'foreigner' in another city.
Although impostor syndrome is usually talked about in the context of the workplace, not being a 'foreigner' in another city.
Doesn't seem related at all.
I'm glad people are talking about this.
I think capitalism is extremely isolating.
You have to move for your job, so people have to cut all the ties that they've made, leave their communities, friends, families....all for money.
Sure you can make new ones, but after working and commuting for 8 to 10 hours a day you get home exhausted and on weekends you have to take care of personal errands.
Now multiply this times millions of people, it makes it very hard for multiple people to have the time and energy to forge a friendship that will take effort and time. Effort and time that people don't really have.
There's tons of studies about how isolated people become after college.
I don't know what the solution is.
Remote work is going to be awesome and huge to help with this.
I think capitalism is extremely isolating.
You have to move for your job, so people have to cut all the ties that they've made, leave their communities, friends, families....all for money.
Sure you can make new ones, but after working and commuting for 8 to 10 hours a day you get home exhausted and on weekends you have to take care of personal errands.
Now multiply this times millions of people, it makes it very hard for multiple people to have the time and energy to forge a friendship that will take effort and time. Effort and time that people don't really have.
There's tons of studies about how isolated people become after college.
I don't know what the solution is.
Remote work is going to be awesome and huge to help with this.
I think the post is more about the isolation that comes from utopic ideologies/nationalisms (via displaced "undesirable" persons) than about the failures of capitalism/communism etc. The dark pictures remind me of how an "undesirable" person feels in an intolerant society
>Remote work is going to be awesome and huge to help with this.
I dunno, I've seen too many remote job opening with must be located in US, Western EU location requirements
Edit: grammar and clarity
I dunno, I've seen too many remote job opening with must be located in US, Western EU location requirements
Edit: grammar and clarity
People also say joining some club helps. I did kickboxing for year, there isn't much talking as it turns out... Anyway, I was really homesick the whole time, I still am. In Russia, we don't celebrate Christmas that much, the New Year is a major holiday. That time of the year is the hardest: no familiar festive music, the street decorations are off.
I kind of accepted all that, since I decided to pursue professional and scientific opportunity instead of comfort. I still wonder if I make the right choices from time to time. I think it's natural to do that though.