From Vexing Uncertainty to Intellectual Humility(academic.oup.com)
academic.oup.com
From Vexing Uncertainty to Intellectual Humility
https://academic.oup.com/schizophreniabulletin/advance-article/doi/10.1093/schbul/sbad173/7517011
21 comments
I'm really glad to hear that you found a way to deal with this. As someone who has dealt with generalised anxiety / panic disorder, it always deeply heartens me to read stories of people who have found some relief.
Similarly, I have made a lot of progress through lifestyle changes, but also through reframing. In my case, I try to not worry about the worry, and instead experience it as transient physical and mental sensations (which it is of course). I also find that an attitude of compassion and kindness helps, to direct that feeling to myself. It's something I picked up for Buddhist practice, but compassion practices can be a very very powerful antidote to fear and anxiety for anyone. Generally, the approach is not just passive mindfulness, but active in the sense of actively trying to cultivate a counteracting emotion in the mind / body.
So I guess this is somewhat related to what you're saying. I sort of reprogrammed myself.
Similarly, I have made a lot of progress through lifestyle changes, but also through reframing. In my case, I try to not worry about the worry, and instead experience it as transient physical and mental sensations (which it is of course). I also find that an attitude of compassion and kindness helps, to direct that feeling to myself. It's something I picked up for Buddhist practice, but compassion practices can be a very very powerful antidote to fear and anxiety for anyone. Generally, the approach is not just passive mindfulness, but active in the sense of actively trying to cultivate a counteracting emotion in the mind / body.
So I guess this is somewhat related to what you're saying. I sort of reprogrammed myself.
I had a similar experience with sleep paralysis, although may have went a few steps further. Not only did I manage to replace my fear with curiosity about it and compile a file folder of info about sleep paralysis and hypnogogic states (all from that blessed early 2000's Internet and an old inkjet, mind you), but I went so far as to start seeking ways to induce it, everything from psychotropic cocktails to just trying to fall asleep in very specific positions. I never did succeed, but I still experience sleep paralysis about 2 - 3 times a month. Now, it us just sort of a boring/annoying experience.
I also suffer from GAD and asthma and believe them to be connected to incidents of sleep paralysis. Both actively work against achieving "restful" sleep, regularly interrupting the sleep cycle which creates a bit of a feedback loop, as you can imagine. With that in mind, I posit that people who experience a lot if disrupted sleep are more sensitive to the transition between the wakeful and sleeping states, which is where the sleep paralysis occurs.
I also suffer from GAD and asthma and believe them to be connected to incidents of sleep paralysis. Both actively work against achieving "restful" sleep, regularly interrupting the sleep cycle which creates a bit of a feedback loop, as you can imagine. With that in mind, I posit that people who experience a lot if disrupted sleep are more sensitive to the transition between the wakeful and sleeping states, which is where the sleep paralysis occurs.
I experience sleep paralysis few times per year (it used to be a weekly occurence when I was younger).
Every single time, I am overwhelmed by an intense panic. I am trying to yell but nothing comes out, I feel as if I am breathing rapidly, even though I can often hear my own calm breathing. I can never seem to realize that it is merely sleep paralysis until I finally wakeup, and everything is just fine.
Every single time, I am overwhelmed by an intense panic. I am trying to yell but nothing comes out, I feel as if I am breathing rapidly, even though I can often hear my own calm breathing. I can never seem to realize that it is merely sleep paralysis until I finally wakeup, and everything is just fine.
Yep, that's the common reaction. Do you also feel like there is a presence in the room with you? Many experience that as well, or see shadow creature(s). This is likely what caused early documenters of the phenomenon to believe that a demon or succubus wax visiting (being watch/not alone) sitting on their chest (restricted breathing/unable to cry out) and holding them down (unable to move).
Really, it's just that you've become partially aware of the transition from wakefulness to sleep, during which the body is more or less "offline" for a few moments while the brain shifts gears.
Really, it's just that you've become partially aware of the transition from wakefulness to sleep, during which the body is more or less "offline" for a few moments while the brain shifts gears.
No feeling of presence at all. Only fear, lost in-between worlds. Probably a mix of real world input and whatever I was dreaming.
For example I might somehow open my eyes a bit and see a faint superposition of the room atop of my current dream. But I still cannot make sense of it and I am in total panic.
Sound also doesn't make much sense, the sound of rain feels totally unknown and unrecognizable until I wakeup.
I just wish I could recognize what is happening and just wait calmy until the body finally wakes up.
For example I might somehow open my eyes a bit and see a faint superposition of the room atop of my current dream. But I still cannot make sense of it and I am in total panic.
Sound also doesn't make much sense, the sound of rain feels totally unknown and unrecognizable until I wakeup.
I just wish I could recognize what is happening and just wait calmy until the body finally wakes up.
It appears this person's high intelligence helped them cope with an otherwise very hard to treat condition.
> The most important part of my story is people. The reason that I am not in prison, homeless, or dead, is a few people who genuinely respect and care for me, and I them, not least through what some philosophers call “hermeneutical justice.” Without these people, there would be no “coping,” and the rest of what follows could never have happened.
Author explicitly attributes it to support network instead. Are you very confident they're wrong about this important aspect of their own life that they have obviously considered carefully?
Author explicitly attributes it to support network instead. Are you very confident they're wrong about this important aspect of their own life that they have obviously considered carefully?
More equanimity than intelligence, and probably more epistemic humility than 'intellectual humility'
> It is not important to know where the voices are coming from. It had just been demonstrated to me that prior to turning around I did not know their origin, and yet I was comfortable having taken on the “mere belief,” and as it turned out the false belief, that nobody was there. [...] And after I was forced to change my belief, it was still fine.
> It is not important to know where the voices are coming from. It had just been demonstrated to me that prior to turning around I did not know their origin, and yet I was comfortable having taken on the “mere belief,” and as it turned out the false belief, that nobody was there. [...] And after I was forced to change my belief, it was still fine.
Around five years ago when trying to adjust medications for a chronic condition I dropped CBD from the cannabis I was using and was using a strong dose of THC only for a few weeks every night.
Which threw me into a schizo affective episode.
It was really crazy, in all senses of the word.
Coming out of it, I learned a number of things (including the research around the surprising effectiveness of CBD at not only mitigating the psychosis that can occur with THC consumption, but even with schizophrenia itself).
One of the lessons that most stuck with me was just how terrible it was to feel disconnected from reality and to not be able to trust my own brain, something I'd relied on for decades.
I've been very physically ill at points in life, but those few weeks until my brain chemistry normalized again were probably my lowest point ever. I was left with a newfound respect and sympathy for people who must go through life with that always and not just as a temporary burden.
And even in that short period, as the author describes there was quickly a balancing act to the psychosis. I pictured it as a series of multi-axis sliders where as my brain would wander more towards delusions of grandeur so too came delusions of paranoia (if you're important, then you are important enough to persecute - if you aren't important, then paranoia is more easily dismissed). There's a zen quality to managing a brain that varies and wanders far outside the boundaries of the norm. Though it can only be controlled or reasoned with to a moderate degree and ends up largely a practice of staying on the board riding the wave than dictating the ebb and flow of the sea.
I was very grateful when it subsided and I was able to identify the culprit, and my heart goes out to the people who don't have an off switch to toggle. 0/5 stars - would not recommend.
Which threw me into a schizo affective episode.
It was really crazy, in all senses of the word.
Coming out of it, I learned a number of things (including the research around the surprising effectiveness of CBD at not only mitigating the psychosis that can occur with THC consumption, but even with schizophrenia itself).
One of the lessons that most stuck with me was just how terrible it was to feel disconnected from reality and to not be able to trust my own brain, something I'd relied on for decades.
I've been very physically ill at points in life, but those few weeks until my brain chemistry normalized again were probably my lowest point ever. I was left with a newfound respect and sympathy for people who must go through life with that always and not just as a temporary burden.
And even in that short period, as the author describes there was quickly a balancing act to the psychosis. I pictured it as a series of multi-axis sliders where as my brain would wander more towards delusions of grandeur so too came delusions of paranoia (if you're important, then you are important enough to persecute - if you aren't important, then paranoia is more easily dismissed). There's a zen quality to managing a brain that varies and wanders far outside the boundaries of the norm. Though it can only be controlled or reasoned with to a moderate degree and ends up largely a practice of staying on the board riding the wave than dictating the ebb and flow of the sea.
I was very grateful when it subsided and I was able to identify the culprit, and my heart goes out to the people who don't have an off switch to toggle. 0/5 stars - would not recommend.
I am happy for you that you were able to go out of the THC induced schizophrenia. Many people do not.
"THC induced schizophrenia" you can't get out is just schizophrenia.
People who have the predisposition for schizophrenia often get their first psychotic episode from things like drugs, stressful event, exams, changing jobs, temporary lack of sleep, pregnancy and the time around delivery are strong triggers.
THC induced pycosis also happens.
People who have the predisposition for schizophrenia often get their first psychotic episode from things like drugs, stressful event, exams, changing jobs, temporary lack of sleep, pregnancy and the time around delivery are strong triggers.
THC induced pycosis also happens.
You are right, my comment was not explaining enough and you extended it nicely with your own comment, especially the second sentence.
Well, there's a spectrum of different things. One is THC inducing actual schizophrenia. Less than that is a schizo affective episode. And less than that is something I've been increasingly suspecting is taking place as dispensaries move to THC only strains and breed out the CBD of just broadly disassociative thinking. I've noticed an increase in some wild conspiratorial thinking among people I know that regularly use THC sans CBD which isn't a full blown psychotic episode, but is distinctly unsettling.
So yes, I agree that I was fortunate. But like with most things, it's a nuanced gradient and not an absolute dichotomy.
So yes, I agree that I was fortunate. But like with most things, it's a nuanced gradient and not an absolute dichotomy.
Doesn't sleep also count as a psychotic episode or does it only resemble it because you lose reality for a while?
I was thinking recently about the (seeming?) increase in anti-science/anti-expert/conspiratorial thinking and movements of recent years (covid, anti-vax, 5g, qanon etc etc etc) and the (increase in?) use and more widespread legalization/decrim efforts of cannabis. I wonder if any studies have been done or what that might look like.
an interesting related question is that if a study did show that this was a form of mental disability, should such people be allowed to vote on psychotic worldviews? or is it too dangerous just as driving while blind is dangerous?
> If there are voyeurs on the other side [of a mirror], that’s their wretched problem, not mine.
This is good thinking for non schizophrenics also.
This is good thinking for non schizophrenics also.
The opening paragraph strongly reminds me of the main character in
"Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance".
The mirror thing is fascinating:
Shortly after we brought my mother into our home to care for her (after she had a near death psychosis episode), I awoke one morning to discover that all of our mirrors were covered with cloth (because her schizophrenia voices told her to do that).
It finally made me appreciate all the conspiracy movies where a schizophrenic personality is concerned about some thing that ends up being true.
The unfiltered voices come up with some wild ideas...
Thankfully, the medication that suppresses internal voices is working effectively.
Shortly after we brought my mother into our home to care for her (after she had a near death psychosis episode), I awoke one morning to discover that all of our mirrors were covered with cloth (because her schizophrenia voices told her to do that).
It finally made me appreciate all the conspiracy movies where a schizophrenic personality is concerned about some thing that ends up being true.
The unfiltered voices come up with some wild ideas...
Thankfully, the medication that suppresses internal voices is working effectively.
One example of how this mindset worked for me is probably best demonstrated by my experience with sleep paralysis. My anxiety kept me tossing and turning in bed, and I would eventually fall unconscious due to exhaustion - triggering sleep paralysis. I of course developed fear of sleep paralysis and thus going to bed made me anxious... cue vicious cycle.
How did I break the cycle? I had to develop a joy for sleep paralysis. A genuine interest and joy for that experience. Once I started to look forward to it, the vicious cycle was broken and I no longer got sleep paralysis. It was the ultimate reframe. I psyched myself out.
I eventually started to apply that same principal to other anxieties and insecurities and things just started to melt away.
A vicious cycle of sleep paralysis is pit of hell though. I don't recommend it.