you're joking because of the other frontpage story with Gemini 3 hallucinating hacker news 10 years in the future, but still lets keep the hallucinations to that page.
I agree. So many disparate solutions. The streaming sql primitives are by themselves good enough (e.g. `tumble`, `hop` or `session` windows), but the infrastructural components are always rough in real life use cases.
Various streaming processing frameworks often have domain specific languages with a lot of limitations of how to express aggregations and transformations.