> "I believe that this ability to listen deeply to someone else’s experience without adding any of one’s own ideas or thoughts is among the rarest gifts in today’s world"
This resonated. As someone who loves to give advice and recommendations to be 'helpful' (and so validate my presence) it's incredibly hard to just be with someone else's experience.
Hi, appreciate the feedback (I'm Jonny, one of the co-authors), writing this we were conscious of framing this report not as a finished artefact, but as the beginning of a multi-year resilience research study and we fully acknowledge that it raises more questions than it provides answers.
However, we also did make an effort to outline some concrete strategies for relieving emotional debt in section 7 and also outlined in the [wiki](http://resilient.wiki/), which include daily/weekly/monthly/annual activities (although by no means an exhaustive list and invite readers to contribute additional suggestions).
> re: Especially in terms of letting corporations and HR departments deflect and ignore fixing toxic work environments rampant with major burnout stressors
This may be well the case in some organisations and part of our intention with the 'Shadow Stressors' framework was to shed light on those sources of stress in the 'ambient/external quadrant' which would likely fall under the responsibility of the organisation's leadership to address.
> "Like it would somehow undo my years of professional progress. I'm grateful that my upper leadership was actually quite receptive, and others have shared that they feel more empowered to address their own issues when they see other people willing to share more about their own struggles."
This is a powerful reflection. Vulnerability often feels like weakness to us but looks like courage to others. IMO real change is contingent on a deeper cultural shift that begins with leaders like yourself being willing to step into honest conversations about their inner + outer struggles.
And really great to hear that you have someone experienced working with you to help navigate the coming weeks. Please do reach out if you have curiosities or further questions about any of the emotional regulation activities listed in the wiki (or wish to contribute suggestions of your own).
Thanks Leo, we have you to thank for introducing us to the concept of 'emotional debt'. I totally agree that for the majority of us, navigating the inner-world + increasing self-awareness has an absurdly high ROI on success/fulfillment.
What I also find fascinating is how running a company or leading a team appear to be an incredibly efficient vehicle for surfacing one's own sh*t—and once this new perspective is adopted—it becomes more potent than any self-help program out there for one's own personal growth.
There is a delicate balance between what the author of Reboot Jerry Colonna describes as 'Foolish Grit' vs. 'Healthy Drive + Ambition'. In my own experience I find it helpful to enquire into the underlying motivations for the work.
i.e am I driving myself from a place of fear? How does my body feel when I begin working on this? What is the source of the resistance? Whilst fear can certainly be a powerful motivator in the short term, it is not a sustainable fuel source.
Jonny (one of the report co-authors) here, thanks for sharing this—I entirely agree that normalising this conversation around mental health is essential, yet often requires courage to do so, especially in a work context. Yet, as our research illustrated, you are very much not alone in experiencing pre-existing mental health challenges that were amplified by the events of 2020.
re: 'telling the difference between work burnout vs. residual issues from a traumatic history', this is a nuanced topic but from the perspective of your nervous system, there really isn't a difference—the emotional debt (which could also be labelled as 'micro-trauma') that accumulates doesn't neatly distinguish between work + life as we have a tendency to do (the RED framework in the report was our attempt to describe this process in more detail).
Taking an initial 4-week break is really important step—I would encourage you not to commit (at this point) with a date for when you will return but see how the coming weeks unfold. It's also critical to seek help during the recovery process, ideally from someone trained in a form of therapy that addresses the body (Somatic Experiencing Therapy being a good example). Did you notice the [Resilience Wiki](http://resilient.wiki/) that we've started towards the end of the report? Hopefully some of those resources are useful. Also, please feel free to get in touch directly: jonnymiller[at]mac.com
This resonates with my own experience: "Although most people look forward to vacations and days off, most successful people I know dread them."—working more hours was a socially acceptable route to not dealing with my own sh*t.
This resonated. As someone who loves to give advice and recommendations to be 'helpful' (and so validate my presence) it's incredibly hard to just be with someone else's experience.