I think you're right - it is an insider's club. Looks like you have pretty solid credentials. Unfortunately the corporate-capitalist system has more than enough resource (despite their whining about STEM shortages - debunked here: http://spectrum.ieee.org/at-work/education/the-stem-crisis-i...) to enable them to play around with people and cause this soul-searching angst. Stories like yours break my heart and make me fear the future.