What?! Insane take. NixOS is where the most "magic" happens, over and under the hood. It brings it's own language!
Simple package based distros like Arch basically just extract archives. Very few packages trigger post-install steps which usually just (re)generate something like initrd.
Afaik, bricking Ubuntu is either due to user error (e.g. mixing incompatible package sources) or the devs released broken/buggy packages...
Though a good language would point out that what the junior (or in some cases even senior) dev is holding in their hand is in fact a gun and not a gun disguised and marketed as this nice and easy to use toy, which is especially true for Go.
One must keep in mind that devs manage to implement even flawed logic that is directly reflected by the code. I'd rather not give them a non-thread safe language that provides a two letter keyword to start a concurrent thread in the same address space. Insane language design.