adhdsufferer

5 years agodiscuss

Your life isn't just your job. And your other qualities influence your career choice. Software attracts different people than law and medicine and teaching. If I had to bet, for example, I would guess that loneliness is more common among software engineers than lawyers, doctors, and teachers.

adhdsufferer

5 years agodiscuss

This is just what it's like to work a repetitive desk job. I imagine it's similar for lawyers and accountants.

adhdsufferer

5 years agodiscuss

>Definitely don’t try to get ADHD stimulants and power through burnout in a job she hates.

Some people hate working, period. And the kind of job that's fun or engaging for you might not be available to you. For the overwhelming majority of people, their lot in life is to toil at something they'd rather not be doing. But normal people are able to put their heads down and get it done. If you can't and it's causing problems in your life, that's something you should see someone about. Finding a more enjoyable job might be part of the solution, but remember that such options are often a luxury of the elite.

adhdsufferer

5 years agodiscuss

Like the other commenter said, start with your health insurer's website. Read Google Reviews and such, with a skeptical eye for crazy people leaving bad reviews for dumb reasons, and then check them out. During that first meeting, you're evaluating them as much as they're evaluating you.

Them suggesting medication is not necessarily a red flag. But if it's important to you to try other techniques first, then tell them that. If you don't want to start with the medicine route, consider seeing a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist.

Either way, you want to see someone with a conservative outlook. If they put you on medication, they should start with low doses and be obsessed about whether you are having side-effects. If they're talk therapists, you don't want some Freudian or similar bullshit. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which is just modern talk therapy that focuses on identifying your dysfunctional thought patterns and fixing them, is probably what you want on that end of things.

adhdsufferer

5 years agodiscuss

Normal people don't get fired, or quit just in time to avoid getting fired, from every job. If you're smart enough for the job, then there's something else going on that a psychologist or psychiatrist is well-equipped to handle. Like I said, it's not necessarily ADHD. But it is abnormal behavior and if it makes you unhappy or unfulfilled in this life, then you should do something about it. A good place to start is a mental health professional.

adhdsufferer

5 years agodiscuss

I didn't say they did or didn't have anything in particular. Normal people don't get fired, or quit to avoid getting fired, from every job they have. You have some kind of problem if you are experiencing that. It is not necessarily a "disorder," but there is clearly some mismatch between what you want for yourself and what you are able to actually do, a mismatch that is apparently not about lack of innate intelligence but something else. That is exactly the kind of thing a mental health professional is there for.

I said:

>For what it’s worth, you might have ADHD if you’re always quitting or being fired because of an inability to perform to your own abilities. Or you might have some other different issue.

I stand by that. Someone suggesting that to me is what finally got me help.

adhdsufferer

5 years agodiscuss

>I always lose my job or quit.

See a psychologist and/or psychiatrist. This is something you can work through. Whatever issue you’re dealing with, there’s people who are very experienced in helping you figure out what it is and how to start dealing with it.

For what it’s worth, you might have ADHD if you’re always quitting or being fired because of an inability to perform to your own abilities. Or you might have some other different issue. But life doesn’t have to be this way. For most people, it isn’t.

Many people are scared of seeing mental health professionals because they don’t want to be put on medication. Getting better doesn’t necessarily require medication, but it might be an option. Not all ADHD meds are stimulants. Some like guanfacine, for example, will just improve your executive function and emotional stability without much in the way of side effects. But no one is gonna put you on a chemical cocktail without your consent, and you are free to say you want to try non-medication options before even considering that route.

Life doesn’t have to be so hard for an intelligent and capable person. If you work through this you can be happier, more fulfilled, less stressed. That can literally mean extra years on your life. You don’t have to suffer alone.

This comment thread is great but beware. People without a mental health issue do not understand what it’s like to have one. They can usually only think about your experiences through analogy to their own normal struggles. Most mental health symptoms, even schizophrenia, exist in some de minimis way in most people. But normal people can’t recognize that the symptoms are so different in severity in people with a disorder that normal function cannot be willed. A normal person is really bored, procrastinates for a bit, and eventually gets it together. They certainly don’t lose job after job at great personal cost to themselves. But someone with ADHD might feel something almost like pain at the prospect of working on a boring task. They might spend hours trying to work on something but just can’t make it happen. Only the intense adrenaline of a new deadline, maybe the third or fourth new deadline for the same task after blowing past previous ones, can make them finally overcome their issues and get to work. That is no way to live, and you don’t have to live like that.

Finally, if losing this job would be a serious problem for you, be very careful what you tell anyone at work. You might want to talk to an employment lawyer. As plaintiffs’ lawyers, they will almost certainly charge you nothing for just a quick consult.

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