This is actually one of the things that has kept from journaling. I can't write by hand fast enough, and I'm sick of the brightness of a laptop screen by the end of the day. I know, pretty lame excuses.
Jesus also said this: "And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil."
Email me at [yahwehagape at gmail.com] if you want to explore the possibility of it being a spiritual bankruptcy. Feeling a lack of meaning in life can (and should) be remedied by finding meaning in life.