If you are really trying to understand the psyche, you would be more open, ask more questions, and be less judgy. Telling people to go hug a tree is not how you understand people, and it does make you look bad.
I'm in the same boat as you, tho. I'm in the video game streaming industry... I don't understand at all how people actually watch other people play video games, and I do think there's benefit to disconnect.
If you had shit on your arm you'd just scrub it without water?
Filipino uses a system called tabo, or sometimes a hand hose bidet (I call it the bum gun). If the pressure of bum gun is strong enough, well, it's like a pressure gun. You shoot it at 45 degrees angle (cause 90 hurts lol).
If the pressure is not strong enough, then use it like tabo. Tabo is a water scoop. You water your hand, you water your butt, then you soap both of them, and wash it out. It's a shower but just for your butt.
This sounds a little bit weird and disgusting but it is the cleanest since it's like a shower. Nothing beats a soap and scrub.
If there's tissues, take a tissue, pat down your butt so it's dry, put it in the bin.