Ask HN: Solo founders, How do you deal with self-doubt and being overwhelmed?
Being a solo founder is incredibly hard and lonely. I am constantly second guessing and feeling stuck. Some days are great but some days are dreadful.
24 comments
I started creating a website builder full time around 16 months ago, and haven't launched yet.
The number of times I've felt like "WTF are you doing...", "Who is even going to use this?".
I track my time and typically only actually spend 2.5h coding a day - sometimes more, sometimes less. I wish I could spend more time on it but it honestly just feels like a slog, and I kinda feel like I'm still recovering from a deep seated kind of burnout.
So, I do what I can and try to be kind to myself.
I love that I'm able to have the time to be able to work on my own creation, to learn new things and am excited for how it'll all turn out.
I decided when I went all in that this was my decision and I would see it through - a kind of ultimatum to create my own business or shut it all down and go to work and forget about building my own stuff. If I go broke in the process, so be it.
This process has given me a lot of respect for everyone else out there that has ever started their own business.
The number of times I've felt like "WTF are you doing...", "Who is even going to use this?".
I track my time and typically only actually spend 2.5h coding a day - sometimes more, sometimes less. I wish I could spend more time on it but it honestly just feels like a slog, and I kinda feel like I'm still recovering from a deep seated kind of burnout.
So, I do what I can and try to be kind to myself.
I love that I'm able to have the time to be able to work on my own creation, to learn new things and am excited for how it'll all turn out.
I decided when I went all in that this was my decision and I would see it through - a kind of ultimatum to create my own business or shut it all down and go to work and forget about building my own stuff. If I go broke in the process, so be it.
This process has given me a lot of respect for everyone else out there that has ever started their own business.
I see what you're saying. I am in the same boat asking myself how easy it would be to go back to a full-time job. Would you be open for a quick call with me?
Solo founder also here with a product that mixes software and hardware.
For me the big realization was that self-sabotage is mechanism that make up excuses to prevent future damage to your ego. It is activated when you feel uncertain about outcomes and in risky terrain.
Knowing that, the trick is starting stuff you are unsure as an experiment, so you can see how can you get there instead crossing items in a to-do list.
In my case I got to feel really guilty about wasting days and weeks without any advancements. Stuck in complex issues (in my mind) and swimming in circles.
Progress in the only cure, and only reframing your day to day it get easier.
For me the big realization was that self-sabotage is mechanism that make up excuses to prevent future damage to your ego. It is activated when you feel uncertain about outcomes and in risky terrain.
Knowing that, the trick is starting stuff you are unsure as an experiment, so you can see how can you get there instead crossing items in a to-do list.
In my case I got to feel really guilty about wasting days and weeks without any advancements. Stuck in complex issues (in my mind) and swimming in circles.
Progress in the only cure, and only reframing your day to day it get easier.
Wow! That is a deep insight. Great way of putting this mental aerobics in words. I would love to talk to you sometime. Please DM me on my twitter handle @himanshuy_
I am a solo founder even though I have built a small team. This shit is hard. Like really hard. Really really really hard. This is my 9th year and I can't tell you how many times I self doubt. Yet I keep going. Keep pushing. I am nowhere I wanted to be 9 years ago but I have seen just enough moderate success that I see a better future. I strive to get better. Not just make more money but learn. I have learned so much. Would I go back and give up all this even though I want to jump off a cliff at times ? Heck No.
You need to be mentally the strongest to survive this stuff. People would say BS like "You don't need to grind it to be successful blah blah".
I am not sure if you are solo solo or just a solo founder with some team members. If the latter, focus on building a great core team. Team that you know you can rely on. It helps take some pressure off even though you can never switch yourself off as a founder. That is how we are wired. Can't change the wiring.
Also, I am sure there are ways to talk to other similar people IN PERSON. All the online stuff is ok but not enough. But regardless, if you see yourself on the right path even a little bit, don't give up.
Remember that entrepreneurship is not about WHAT you are doing. People do many businesses in their lifetime. It is a way of life. I just can't see myself living my life dong something in a FAANG or a corporate company (I did that for 10+ years initially btw so I know how it is).
Cheers and remember that many people would kill to be in your shoes.
You need to be mentally the strongest to survive this stuff. People would say BS like "You don't need to grind it to be successful blah blah".
I am not sure if you are solo solo or just a solo founder with some team members. If the latter, focus on building a great core team. Team that you know you can rely on. It helps take some pressure off even though you can never switch yourself off as a founder. That is how we are wired. Can't change the wiring.
Also, I am sure there are ways to talk to other similar people IN PERSON. All the online stuff is ok but not enough. But regardless, if you see yourself on the right path even a little bit, don't give up.
Remember that entrepreneurship is not about WHAT you are doing. People do many businesses in their lifetime. It is a way of life. I just can't see myself living my life dong something in a FAANG or a corporate company (I did that for 10+ years initially btw so I know how it is).
Cheers and remember that many people would kill to be in your shoes.
One day you will look back at your current state and either be amazed that you stuck through your current state to get to some new chapter, or wonder what would have happened if you hadn't given up.
This kind of thing is supposed to be hard. If it was easy everyone would be doing it.
I have been in this same state for nearly 13 years. Sometimes I accept the fact that my particular story is nothing more than a personal lesson in persistence.
And then I think, if that is actually so, what seems to be what could be the worst possible outcome, I might as well enjoy the struggle.
This kind of thing is supposed to be hard. If it was easy everyone would be doing it.
I have been in this same state for nearly 13 years. Sometimes I accept the fact that my particular story is nothing more than a personal lesson in persistence.
And then I think, if that is actually so, what seems to be what could be the worst possible outcome, I might as well enjoy the struggle.
Started my company, NoteToServices, as an official LLC back in 2015. I didn't want to keep creating products and putting my name, so now I had a company that "owned" all these products I was building. I've never made anything that actually has made me enough money to quit my day job, and I'm always going back and working or re-working my projects, and the never-ending ideas where I just keep building and building and I don't think it will ever stop.
However, the one thing that prevents me from ever having imposter syndrome: I don't make any of my programs for anyone else. I make everything for myself because I use it. I then monetize the services or offer them for free when I can and this way, I never have to feel too bad if no one uses anything I make because I'm my number one customer.
I use everything I build in my everyday life from my new program, artsy.sh, which is an AI art generator, to trackmybot.com which is a public version of ChatGPT, to CallMePrivate, which privatizes your personal phone number so no one ever knows your real number, to JustCounts which ... just counts website visits, and the list goes on and on with at least a half dozen to a dozen products I'm still developing.
Even after my server crashed and I lost almost all my products, I just rebuilt everything and kept going. One product I build was a pi app that allowed anyone who visited to generate their CPU to calculating the infinite numbers of pi and the next person that came along to use the service would start their count and it would just continue in the next spot. I think that made it up to a billion numbers or so. Hopeful on rebuilding that one again!
I look forward to the day when at least one of my products takes off and affords me "f*ck you money", but until that day, I just keep coding away. Keep going and don't lose hope. I'm a loner and the good thing about doing this all alone... there isn't any pressure except from my own clients who have feedback and suggestions.
However, the one thing that prevents me from ever having imposter syndrome: I don't make any of my programs for anyone else. I make everything for myself because I use it. I then monetize the services or offer them for free when I can and this way, I never have to feel too bad if no one uses anything I make because I'm my number one customer.
I use everything I build in my everyday life from my new program, artsy.sh, which is an AI art generator, to trackmybot.com which is a public version of ChatGPT, to CallMePrivate, which privatizes your personal phone number so no one ever knows your real number, to JustCounts which ... just counts website visits, and the list goes on and on with at least a half dozen to a dozen products I'm still developing.
Even after my server crashed and I lost almost all my products, I just rebuilt everything and kept going. One product I build was a pi app that allowed anyone who visited to generate their CPU to calculating the infinite numbers of pi and the next person that came along to use the service would start their count and it would just continue in the next spot. I think that made it up to a billion numbers or so. Hopeful on rebuilding that one again!
I look forward to the day when at least one of my products takes off and affords me "f*ck you money", but until that day, I just keep coding away. Keep going and don't lose hope. I'm a loner and the good thing about doing this all alone... there isn't any pressure except from my own clients who have feedback and suggestions.
That's a great journey. Thank you for sharing.
It can be hard and is something you will have to learn to deal with on a personal level.
For example, going outside to get sun and physical exercise work fine for me 8 out of 10 times.
Other times, when the dread is related to an existential crisis about feeling that I'm not enough or that I will never succeed with my current startup, I stop, get some rest/sleep, go for a walk, watch motivational videos and talk to friends. Some times, all of this in sequence.
Feel free to DM me on Twitter if you want to chat more. My handle is the same as my username here.
For example, going outside to get sun and physical exercise work fine for me 8 out of 10 times.
Other times, when the dread is related to an existential crisis about feeling that I'm not enough or that I will never succeed with my current startup, I stop, get some rest/sleep, go for a walk, watch motivational videos and talk to friends. Some times, all of this in sequence.
Feel free to DM me on Twitter if you want to chat more. My handle is the same as my username here.
Sent you a DM on Twitter
Know that even if you don't make it, you will never regret trying.
It's ok to take breaks. We're here for the long run.
You can't please everyone.
Stay true to your values.
It's ok to take breaks. We're here for the long run.
You can't please everyone.
Stay true to your values.
I've been working (mostly) solo on an open-source application for the last 5 years (3 years as a side-project, last 2 years full-time). It has been a lot of ups and downs with a burn out in the middle.
Among the downs: having FOMO when I wasn't working on the project during week ends, feeling guilty for not spending time with my family when I was working too much on it, feeling lonely and doubting all my decisions, thinking that I will never succeed, thinking that all the user requests/issues are urgent, etc.
What helps:
- having friends who can help a bit, give advice, or at least accept to be my rubber duck once in a while. It felt less lonely.
- understanding that I am in this for the long run, that nothing is really urgent, especially after working on the project for years already.
- setting very tiny goals and not expecting much output after a day of work. Instead of considering the release of the next feature as the only goal, I now focus on adding this menu, implementing this endpoint, writing the script for a new tutorial, etc. At the end of the day I have the impression that I did something even if the end goal is still far away.
- finding the right balance between building what people want and building something a bit funnier for once even if it's less popular or a "bet" that people will like it. I really dread working on the same things over and over again.
- accept that I cannot focus more than 3-5 hours during a day, and that doing some sport in the middle of the day or taking care of my kids is definitely more important and keep me sane. Usually I get back to work refreshed with new ideas.
- having positive feedback from users, or growing analytics is keeping me motivated. It must be harder to work on something before its release I guess. I would release as soon as possible to get these signals that what I am doing is making a difference, aven if small.
Among the downs: having FOMO when I wasn't working on the project during week ends, feeling guilty for not spending time with my family when I was working too much on it, feeling lonely and doubting all my decisions, thinking that I will never succeed, thinking that all the user requests/issues are urgent, etc.
What helps:
- having friends who can help a bit, give advice, or at least accept to be my rubber duck once in a while. It felt less lonely.
- understanding that I am in this for the long run, that nothing is really urgent, especially after working on the project for years already.
- setting very tiny goals and not expecting much output after a day of work. Instead of considering the release of the next feature as the only goal, I now focus on adding this menu, implementing this endpoint, writing the script for a new tutorial, etc. At the end of the day I have the impression that I did something even if the end goal is still far away.
- finding the right balance between building what people want and building something a bit funnier for once even if it's less popular or a "bet" that people will like it. I really dread working on the same things over and over again.
- accept that I cannot focus more than 3-5 hours during a day, and that doing some sport in the middle of the day or taking care of my kids is definitely more important and keep me sane. Usually I get back to work refreshed with new ideas.
- having positive feedback from users, or growing analytics is keeping me motivated. It must be harder to work on something before its release I guess. I would release as soon as possible to get these signals that what I am doing is making a difference, aven if small.
I totally agree with what you're saying. I am in the B2B space and still trying to get my first client. I guess it gets a bit easier once you have someone to talk about your product.
I am in the same boat (10 years project, 2 years full-time), and share the exact same feelings. It's very hard to find the work-life balance, I am still working on finding it.
What motivates me the most is customers emailing me asking for specific things, or keeping me accountable.
What motivates me the most is customers emailing me asking for specific things, or keeping me accountable.
I had an interesting idea for solo dev work recently. Pretend to be two people. One as the maker, one as the manager.
Create a private Discord server, and create a second user account in another browser profile to be the "manager".
Then chat to yourself.
The rule is that the manager cannot code, and must delegate all tasks, and is obsessed with shipping fast. Write a small document of the manager's explicit goals, what they like and dislike in employees.
I find when managing real people at work there is a big difference in your behavior when you aren't allowed to code - there is much more clarity into what is really important.
It's silly, but maybe it works.
Create a private Discord server, and create a second user account in another browser profile to be the "manager".
Then chat to yourself.
The rule is that the manager cannot code, and must delegate all tasks, and is obsessed with shipping fast. Write a small document of the manager's explicit goals, what they like and dislike in employees.
I find when managing real people at work there is a big difference in your behavior when you aren't allowed to code - there is much more clarity into what is really important.
It's silly, but maybe it works.
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I've farmed out the minutiae to outside contractors so I can just focus on the high-level stuff. This allows me to bring maximal value, even though there are times I iterate over territory I earlier covered. The trick is to balance the pieces of 'grunt work' that you do, with a larger proportion of 'tree-tops' work.
How was the quality of the work they gave you, and how much did it end up costing you?
For dealing with self doubt, reviewing the existing track record of progress helps.
For dealing with being overwhelmed, take a few tasks and delegate them to a short term helper. This has the side effect of forcing you to organize remaining work into more easily digestable bits.
For dealing with being overwhelmed, take a few tasks and delegate them to a short term helper. This has the side effect of forcing you to organize remaining work into more easily digestable bits.