My 2 cents. +1¢ - Posting here for help is a clear sign you are far from being done in. Failed ppl typically wanna keep it for themselves. You probably are just angry and feel (justifiably) unlucky. Luck is a great part in making it. +1¢ - you define successful by a made up device of your own. Some crazy image of a 20 smthg millionaire. Redefine what success means and you will be instantly successful. From outside this sounds a lot like you are externally motivated. Not good. Comparing yourself to 9-5ers is a guilt trip you should avoid. Be self centered. My 2¢ come down to: reset you unreasonable expectations, rinse and repeat. GOOD LUCK