Thank you all for your insight. I think a few next steps are clear to me.
1. Seek some therapy/mental help. Something I've been lacking and psyched myself out in to thinking I don't deserve it.
2. See if there are any legal avenues/help I can get on contingency, (I am pretty broke at the moment)
3. Maybe just own the situation and try to exude confidence, as hard as that can be.
4. Worst comes to worst, change my name and just try to do contracting work for awhile.
This has been the worst ordeal of my life, and as helpful as this post has been, has just given me more anxiety about the situation at hand. But it's always the darkest before the dawn I suppose. I'm going to shut my laptop and try to meditate for a little bit.
I think you may be right, and maybe I am psyching myself out. I've always been a very good interviewer/interviewee (even helping others out with a job search!) This has all been so much, I don't even feel like the same person I was before.
Thank you <3 I did go the police route as i mentioned in a previous comment, to no avail, but to be honest, I have less than a thousand dollars to my name at the time. I suspect the person that did this to me is not in the United States.
To onlookers it appears that I spent years a decade ago going on racist and sexist tirades. I would love just to own it and be honest, but the way things were set against me, it just looks like I'm making excuses for myself. The whole situation is FUBAR. Even the police weren't able to help
I certainly will, and I hope I can follow up with good news. This has been the worst experience of my life. A) Because people believe I did and said things that I've always opposed B) Because no one gives me enough of a chance to show that it wasn't me. Thanks for the message.
I am purposely being vague to avoid outing myself, but knowing the situation, and knowing what was attributed to me as being said, somehow this seems like it would just highlight a toxic situation and be an automatic red flag to employers. I wish I had the gumption to do this.
Thanks to all for the advice. I think contract work + changing my name is really the only way forward. I was naive in thinking I could get it all back somehow, and I have been too disillusioned to see the obvious through this whole ordeal.
My manager did and I could tell they believed, but the optics of it all I imagined made it too toxic to be worth defending me over. Racist, sexist content was falsely attributed to me.
That would be great if it worked like that. I know it's stupid in my position, but I like my name, and I know I didn't really do anything wrong. I feel like it would absolutely just be like letting the offending party win, if I did this. But I need to grow up and accept my new reality.
Sorry you had to make an account, but it's really appreciated. The contracting work is good advice, I have been looking exclusively for full time positions, at small agencies for sure, but still, no dice as I've said. Maybe I need to just pick up that small time contracting work in tandem with a full name change. That would be preferable to the fast-food restaurant I've been working at for the past 2 months.
I have absolutely, I just have worried about the optics of changing my name and having people find out, like it would seem as though I'm running from things and making it worse.