I agree with you on "don't do big software project" Specially do not fast scale them out to hundreds of people. You have to scale them more organically ensuring that every person added is a net gain. They think that adding more people will reduce the time.
I am surprised on the lack of creativity when doing these projects. Why don't they start 5 small projects building the same thing and let them work for a year. At the end of the year you cancel one of the projects, increasing the funding in the other four. You can do that every year based on the results. It may look like a waste but it will significantly increase your chances of succeeding.
IMHO. It is futile to level the field with the wealthy. They will always have the better opportunities, education, connections, etc. They will find a way.
But we should keep trying to give more opportunities to the less fortunate. Better education, remedial classes, free school lunches, child credits, etc. We do that by asking the wealthy to contribute more. Not by taking away their advantages.(e.g. Admission tests)
My sister died of brain cancer a year ago. When she was on treatment at Mayo Clinic in Phoenix, I accompanied her to see a Chaplain that specializes on counseling. I am not religious but my sister was. The Chaplain said something that stayed with me and I feel has helped me. "Be grateful", and she explain the scientific evidence. I don't let negative feelings enter my head. Many things are beyond your control, so there is no use on ruminating about them. Just be grateful, of the big things or the little things. Find something. I have a photo on my fridge where my sister has big smile it is from the day she got her citizenship. That is what I choose to remember, the smile, the good things. Focus on the good things and be great-full for them.