Just under 2000 Spaniards have this surname, and to this day they primarily reside in Seville province, which was long the only allowed port of entry to peninsular Spain for imported goods from Spanish overseas territories.
You’re still talking like an anime villain, threatening violence against Internet strangers kind enough to ponder your plight.
Your brain has too much dopamine. That’s why you can’t get or maintain a job or maintain any relationships. You need to take a medicine. You have a chance at having money and normal relationships again if you take an antipsychotic [1][2][3] and stay on it.
> listing off traumas to some woman who bills for speaking to me
I think you would benefit greatly from a different kind of treatment, with an antipsychotic. Your comments remind me so much of a brilliant person in my family who was able return to his high-level FAANG job after beginning antipsychotic treatment.
I definitely want to extend help. If your interviewers see that your speech and thoughts are unusual, you won’t get a job. If you get a job, you won’t be able to keep it.
If your goal is to get a job and be housed, seeking mental help treatment can help you succeed in that goal.
It appears you are in the Bay. You may have previously been diagnosed with anxiety and CPTSD and treated for those. It’s common for people with those diagnosis to later be diagnosed with something else.
You appear to be suffering from a psychosis. California had a new law that can get you help. Call the local mental line and say you are unable to provide for your own well-being due to persecutory delusions and disordered thinking. Ask to be admitted to an inpatient program, where the doctor can give you an antipsychotic medicine. Your life will totally change for the better.
You want to do good for society, which is commendable. You can’t help others unless you help yourself first. Please get help.
You don’t need to stop cannabis because it’s bad or you are bad. Stopping cannabis will help you achieve your goal of a stable living situation with stable employment. Please try it.
Do you use cannabis? Your writing suggests to me (not a medical health professional but a family member to a person with mental health struggles) that you might be experiencing thought disorder, which is a sign of psychosis. In some people, cannabis use (including after a long period of use with no apparent negative effects) can cause substance abuse psychosis. Thought disorder can also be a sign of other non-drug-related psychotic spectrum disorders, like bipolar disorder, schizoaffective disorder, and schizophrenia.
If you use soft drugs, consider taking a prolonged abstinence to see if your functioning improves.
Regardless of substance use, consider talking to a mental health professional. In Pennsylvania, the National Alliance on Mental Illness has a helpline for people undergoing mental health crises:
Bacteria famously can’t break down cellulose—wet or dry—, a structure made of glucose monomers. It took fungus hundreds of millions of years of evolution to develop the ability to break down cellulose.
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