I have realized changes take way more time that I ever thought it would. That being said, before long, you are different and a little proud of your better new self.
Of course not. I wish I was. It my personal life that it is lacking meaning. No real friendships, I work remotely, I barely talk with people in months.
That being said, I strongly believe a meaningful work supplant this somehow. Yeah, maybe I am too pretentious or just trying to cover the sun with two fingers.
I can’t emphasize this more. The first show I watched without subtitles (CC) was Dr House. I watched 6 seasons and it was painful as hell but after watching 100s of episodes it starts becoming easier.
Also, I would write every single word I did not understand and google it.
I assume this just to not have great expectatives, otherwise I could not start another startup in my life. I will always try and always try to be better. That is the first motto I tell my friends/co-founders. The first talk with me is a 100% transparency on where I fall short and my biggest mistakes. And beg them to help me not to repeat them. No ego whatsoever. And I haven't started a startup in 2 years with another person. I had made the decision to go alone/indie for ever, but this idea is social and needs a team of two, and lots of feedback. I can't do it alone, in real life.
> I will assume your post is serious...
It is. Thanks for assuming it.
I am a remote tech worker, so I have great flexibility. I understand not everyone has the same. It is difficult to write how I live my life, but I don't mean "skip" in a totally. In fact I am in a great place with lots of people around me and other friends living together. It is summer now and I have a beach all around me. My holidays I will spend with my family.
I mean instead of playing playstation 3 days in a row, Why can't I convince this people to code? I know they want it, but they have pressure from they family and friends.
I want to know if this happens in SV as well or is it because I am not in SV. People here are not trained to invest time in what they love. There is not entrepreneurial spirit.
> If you are the founder, you are much more invested in the business and are willing to skip the holidays.
I wrote a click bait title. I don't mean "code for 2 weeks and skip all holidays until we have the MVP" though I would love it. I just wonder why this can't happen in my country or at least to/near me.
> Enjoy your life.
I really do :)
> Not everything has to be about work and making money all of the time.
I couldn't agree more. Life has taught me the hard way that with money it is way easier. (if you are smart and know how to use money).
Though this is not a topic to talk about money.
> I mean... it's nice to do and a lot of people have accomplished that dream,
THIS!
> but it's also okay to enjoy the holidays off from work.
100% agree
Maybe, I used to browse it 5 times a day years ago but nowadays maybe once a month? I think removing it from my favs helped me and I just forgot about it.
We need to feel worth it in life. It doesn't matter that there are 8 billion people around. I think if you can imagine helping other in some area you are good at and other might be struggling, you can pretty much stop procrastinating right away. I recall a psychologist who said that for every hour that patients go them they must do two of for charity work where they directly help others. He finalized saying that he doesn't know if his therapy is good but that the other two hours were working extremely well.
Me too. I see sugar banned in 50 years. I really hope so. It's like white poison. It's not easy. I can't suggest you anything but I have been studying my sugar carvings and they spark instantly when I feel little stressed out because it immediately makes me calm, but you know, it doesn't last a minute you just want more. You sweet required level goes up and you are never satisfied.
Of all thinks that I have tried (therapy, meditation, Zen/zazen practice) the one that worked almost immediately a few days ago was realizing that if I really wanted to stop this I needed to become aware that the change has to come from me. It won't come from the government banning sugar, my neighbor or whatever you can name. It has to come from me.
I don't think so. You seem to have a very negative view of your own self but just the fact you can notice and more over write here that clearly makes me think you're on the right track to solve them whenever you might want it.
Thanks for answering NicoJuicy. I used to have similar patterns in the 'extreme' sense you say until life thought me the hard way that they are a really risky bet. Thought alcohol never liked me and I avoided bdays too.
That's was when I started wondering why did I do what I did. Are extremes worth it in mid-long term? they can turn into habits too soon and really difficult to get out of them. It took me years to realize (maybe I still am) that most of the time I did this was to get a sense of external approval, fit in, achievement of the impossible, be different, ... in the end was a doing stuff in excess not for a real worthy reason but because of the lack of sense of identity.
This is a good article on the topic
WESTCHESTER OPINION; WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY OF EXCESS - WHY?
Among many others things (therapy, running, playing high level piano, amazing remote job), Zen rewired and helps me to deal with this every day.
I'd recommend this authors with all my heart to anyone:
- Thich Nhat Hanh ("You are here")
- Alan Watts
- Eckhart Tolle ("Stillness Speaks")
- Shunryū Suzuki ("Zen mind beginner's mind")
- Ryan Holiday ("Ego is the enemy")
Piano helped me quite a lot. First my teacher, I could even say my piano teacher played a more important role in helping me, more than my family ever could. Musically I felt in love with Chopin and I really hope someday to be able to play Ballade 4 op. 52. It puts me at least decade long goal (yup, it is really really hard to play that).
Running, eating healthy, etc sure. But I think it works better to have the brain thinking better first. Otherwise we'll stick in the same trap over and over, with the same bad thoughts and habits we want to break.
We need to get beyond thinking and feeling. Training ourselves to see them, observer them and letting them go. It takes a lot of time. But you can do it.
I have realized changes take way more time that I ever thought it would. That being said, before long, you are different and a little proud of your better new self.