First of all: I know this feeling really well. Get help from a professional when you have no family/friends you can talk to.
Second. You are not happy with your job. Fair enough. But that’s a common problem with young people. You don’t need to be happy with your job. You don’t need like your job. You likely not find a job which makes you happy. That’s a dream you get told every day by social media and ads which is just not true.
Third, your game:
I just quit my job and tried for one year to a write just a game. I had a lot of time. My initial motivation was great. I thought to myself. I want to make a great game… But then. It all repeatet and I lost control about my life and how I want to live it. It’s like a deep hole. I’m also not depressed in the “classic” way you see on television. It’s more like you don’t see a perspective. A goal. Because every day you hear: YOU CAN DO ANYTHING. FIND YOUR DREAM JOB. And think: why are all so happy with there jobs.
I accepted that your job doesn’t need to make you happy. It’s ok to just earn money. It’s ok not to have this one idea that everybody loves. That’s not how the world works.
I work now 40hours as employee, 30 hours self employed and Ifound my goal: get money. Money to invest in something you love or invest in your hobby. Save it for later to build up your own company. Or what ever.
I was finally seeing when I found my love and my child spawned in our world.
I work harder then ever and hope someday we have enough money to retire without fearing to get poor.
Of course everybody sees this differently and have different experiences.
And the last:
Be honest with your self and don’t lie to yourself. And be yourself. Get sober. No drugs. ADHD is not reason to be unhappy.
It reminds me of Twitter or other companies which starting to change programming languages for performance reasons.