I applaud the originality of the statement, but there's a good deal of trust in the cryptocurrency ecosystem compared to 2009. I understand if you're personally still a skeptic.
* {
background-image: linear-gradient(a big shadow);
border-radius: 5 million pixels;
box-shadow: 5 million pixels;
text-shadow: 5 million pixels;
}
...that should get you most of the way