At your age I was likely in a worse space than you, but with many of the same attributes. I was very lonely, but also struggling with paranoid schizophrenia. Was convinced that I'd basically sentenced myself to be a 'forever alone' virgin for the rest of my miserable life. By my mid-twenties, I'd been committed to mental hospital twice. To say I felt like an outcast would be an understatement.
However, I was able to turn the ship around, and today
(mid-thirties) I'm happily married with three beautiful kids. Have a job that I look forward to every day (lead dev for a software product in the banking sector). Just bought our first house last year.
All this is to say, don't lose hope just yet. You're still young and have plenty of opportunities to change the course of your life. Your knowledge of math and IT means you have ample opportunity for finding a lucrative and enjoyable career. If you want a girlfriend, that can also be accomplished, but she's not going to fall out of the sky and into your lap. You will likely need to make a real and persistent effort. And at the same time, as low as you feel now, there is always a deeper rock bottom that you can hit, if you simply let things progress in the wrong direction.
However, I was able to turn the ship around, and today (mid-thirties) I'm happily married with three beautiful kids. Have a job that I look forward to every day (lead dev for a software product in the banking sector). Just bought our first house last year.
All this is to say, don't lose hope just yet. You're still young and have plenty of opportunities to change the course of your life. Your knowledge of math and IT means you have ample opportunity for finding a lucrative and enjoyable career. If you want a girlfriend, that can also be accomplished, but she's not going to fall out of the sky and into your lap. You will likely need to make a real and persistent effort. And at the same time, as low as you feel now, there is always a deeper rock bottom that you can hit, if you simply let things progress in the wrong direction.