Hi HN, longtime user here.

After PMing for 3 companies now over 5 years, I think I am approaching burnout.

I'm tired of user interviews, of constantly having to say no, of the politicking, of never getting firm answers from engineering, of the general chaos of it all. I'm faking my way through the day, pretending to care when I don't. I used to love technology, but my passion is gone.

I'm a woman and LGBT, fwiw, and it can be a lonely and tiring experience when men seem to be coasting along much easier in most settings. All my coworkers are straight and married with families and I feel like the lone weirdo. We were also recently acquired by a company whose leadership is entirely older white straight men, not that it was much different pre-acquisition.

I deeply miss the feeling of actually making something. Creating something of value. Not shepherding around the people who are creating things. I have good people skills, which has landed me more in management/leadership positions. But really what I crave is long periods of working without meetings to worry about. Of deeply engaging with something and problem solving. As a PM I barely scratch the surface of anything.

I've also developed deep anxiety around time management and meetings. I feel I can never relax for fear of missing the next meeting.

I am seeing an excellent therapist who is helping me cope. But I don't want to just cope. I've lost my love for technology, my drive to do more than the bare minimum (which is anathema to my personality up until about 7 months ago).

My interest in code and now expertise in product management leads me to think I could make a good software engineer, provided I put in more training. With my "product sense" I think I'd be pretty desirable to employers.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

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Ask HN: Burnt out Product Manager, should I try to get back into coding?