I loved BeOS back in the day. Such a beautiful and clean interface. I loved the philosophy behind it, and the disdain for 'cruft' as they called it. I still have the discs lying around somewhere...
I don't live in the West, and I don't make as much money as you do. Is that wrong? There are plenty of people using HN that are not reflections of yourself.
I'm also not assuming that this will be worked on full-time. If it was, I wouldn't expect it to take more than about a week.
I'm a designer, but I can't code. I'm looking for someone who can code a template for a popular CMS. I'll do the design, and you can code. I'll provide more guidance if you contact me, with your skillset and experience. If you don't have much experience, don't worry! Just tell me what you're good at.
Estimated time required: a few weeks
Estimated cost: a few hundred dollars
I understand what you're going through, and can relate with much of what you've said. I don't know what to do myself, or what advice to give. I would suggest disconnecting yourself from computers and the intenet for a whle though, and see if that improves your focus on other things.
This is inspiring to me as a designer who can't code, although I want to learn and have many ideas for projects. Well done for learning to program and actually building and shipping your idea!