hestipod, You are a very kind person - worrying about me, with all your problems. Don't worry about me, (I was worried that I was upsetting or needling you after I posted). NONE of your problems are your fault. None of them. I just wish that there were some way soon of you getting the help you need.
Please don't worry about me, I've been through some things, (probably toughened my exoskeleton), (or something :). You are not unnoticed and I can only repeat I wish there were some real help that you will get. I am ok.
"I had a nightmare just last night about a victim I recall from early in my career...in such a horrible personal situation...who died in such a terrible way. She didn't have to. She was pushed to it and then allowed to because nobody she reached out to would help. I've seen dozens like that...and not a single one of them had to die." I wonder if your earlier career gave you PTSD and if your current circumstances are triggering it?
You had a bad judge twice - that guy is probably retired now or has moved on. I wonder if another might be reasonable - what you need is some kind of stable income so you can get space and stability. Are there no advocates who could help some kind of claim for someone in your situation - free advisors? Don't set some kind of end of year deadline on yourself - an advocate might be able to do a lot for you.
I'm going to try and reply (rate limit?). (And I won't keep harassing you with more posts). You are right it does affect my feelings to see someone hurting so much. Better that you criticize me - and live. You have had a long, tough run. I am also so sorry to hear about your loss.
Of course after enough trauma and hard knocks - and an impersonal system - you are worn out. I think that is why the poster above suggested basics like sleep and nutrition, if you can get them - not a global solution I know but it does help. (Small lever points).
Situations can change in really weird ways - that no one ever could have predicted - even when it has been tough for years, even when things seem really hopeless.
I'm not in the business of depressing you more, or taxing you emotionally. Your life does matter.
You have to hang on for her sake hestipod. Are they threatening to throw you out? Would they give you money? Is there anyone who can help? You are really worrying me. Please hang on for your cat's sake. It's her best hope. Hang on.
I had an install of SeaMonkey with NoScript installed and just have been using that - privacy settings all locked down - no problems, have been using it for more than half an hour - couldn't be bothered fiddling around and worrying about it.
Citations at all...In the late 80s the biggest worry was the Ozone Hole and nuclear winter. The Berlin Wall fell in 1989. Not to worry, Gen Zed is reaching late teens and early 20s now.
Agreed. That's what is keeping it alive most likely. Those who are unfamiliar with obligate carnivore status of cats should do a search for "feline hepatic lipidosis" which is a horror story. Also search for lists of plants that are fatal to cats.
Are you still reading here? I hope you are all right. Reading back over your reply to me I got the impression that the someone who blocks instances of you helping yourself is a relative, and then blames you as a victim. It is so hard to read online posts, I might be wrong. You probably don’t want to discuss it anyway, and I’m not some nut always writing here.
(If it is a relative, doing that, that is a dysfunctional pattern, the truth is they will keep playing the game, but probably not evict you.) It may be even some person’s way of telling you you are depressed - weird but true - some don’t know how to do this. (In other words, they don’t know how to communicate this stuff, may care for you, and may be depressed themselves - I don’t know, I’m not a psychologist). Anyway, would be nice to know you are all right, and don’t worry, I won’t post again - just say “I’m still around”, and we will leave it at that. Take care.
I am so sorry to hear this. I wonder if it is possible to conciliate in some way with these two (appease them in a dignified way, keeping out of their way) - (horrible, but necessary). If they are related, surely they wouldn’t pull the trigger on you no matter what their attitude is. (Humans, especially relatives, can be funny that way). They have power over you and sound as if they are miserable with each other, and you are getting the fallout.
I find it appalling that there are no options for you. Its hard to find words. You are obviously highly literate and intelligent and could be good value for some one or entity with that kind of remote work. (4 hours a day and not having truckloads of qualifications but interest, software and operating system skills, life experience, maturity and reliability are a good signal to an entity with this kind of work).
Generally Phd’s and credentialled individuals don’t get jobs like the one we discussed, they will move on - niche jobs are the toughest to get, but employers really aren’t looking for elite credentials, just specific talents and trays.
Finding someone with your skillset who will work for 4 hours a day consistently and reliably is tough for employers - the other side of the coin. (Finding a job like this and an employer in this situation is the problem).
Hold on. This post may be buried but it isn’t going anywhere. (You are depressed and rightly so, I don’t know if there are any disability options for that, and you have investigated the system pretty thoroughly). I’m probably irritating you about now, but you know, you did what you could with this post, and risked it, that is something pretty good and very brave. Hang on, hang on, hang on, sometimes at the 11th hour..... (ok?).
hestipod - unfortunately this has gone the way of the HN news rush, please don’t take it to heart.
You mentioned in one archived post I read something about a guy who was able to plot tankers on maps online. I suppose it is hard to get something like that, but can’t help wondering if some in HN crowd could have something along these lines. (What, I have no idea). I wonder how he got into that?
I hope that your current condition is at least in someway stable, eg, housing - I get what you are saying about Maslow’s bottom rung - you need work, stable housing and a chance.
This is my 2nd attempt to reply - just created an account. I hope it gets there. I feel very much for you - you sound like you have physical pain as well as financial distress.
I am a sometime lurker on this site who has created an account to tell you that I hope you get some kind of breakthrough or something good does happen. Probably that's not much help. Please hang on. I have read your post and also your comments to other posts and can see that you are an intelligent and good person. You love your cat, and she needs you, and yes, she does love you too!
Being not a programmer or sysadmin etc. myself there is not any concrete help I can give. I would hope that some here would be able to offer you some remote work?