I apologise for the long ramble. I wrote it because I deeply relate with the situations described here, and I simply wanted to share my thoughts on this, because I thought a lot about this, and I am still struggling everyday. TL;DR: be patient with yourself, try to improve marginally everyday, be kind with yourself, and give yourself constructive criticism only.
I believe that this issue is present in a lot of people - only that not many admit it is an issue. I struggle with this as well, though I do not always realise it.
Unfortunately, humans are creatures of comfort - we seek to do the least amount of "work" for the greatest amount of "rewards", which is the exact thing sites like reddit, facebook, twitter, etc. offer. Hence the addiction.
> "I know these things are designed to steal my attention but I’m supposed to be stronger than that."
I think this is the wrong way to look at it. I do not doubt that you are strong, but thinking this way will eventually place you on a road to lowered self esteem, and much self loathing. You don't want this, it will exacerbate the bad behaviours. Try instead to be patient with yourself, try to look at yourself as a continuously improving person. This way you will see that "bad times" in your life are limited - hitting rock-bottom means the only way left to go is up.
> "Like many of us, I made promises to myself for the new year. (...) I keep lying to myself that I’ll do these things later when the moment is right."
I relate to this issue, I really do. I do not really make plans for the new year, I find that having such broad and general objectives is a way to disappoint yourself, leading to lower self-esteem, and a bunch of other problems. What I did last year was that I did not set any broad objectives. I just tried to make changes. For example, I made a habit of reading or going for a walk after leaving work. I did this from time to time, though not all the time, but now looking back I can always say that last year I read more books than the year before.
The general idea is that you are not competing with others, or with your own objectives and standards. In life you are competing with yourself from the past. Any improvement is good, no matter how marginal.
> "I know I can do better than this."
You can. Have patience and try to improve marginally everyday. And when you cannot, don't be harsh on yourself. Just have patience, and be kind to yourself. This doesn't mean you should find excuses for bad behaviours, it means that you should not criticise yourself for not being the best version of you at this moment. If it helps, try to think of yourself as your own underperforming employee - you don't want to constantly insult and berate him all the time for not being good, you want him to improve day by day - thus, you will give him only helpful advice and criticism on what he could be doing better.
I believe that this issue is present in a lot of people - only that not many admit it is an issue. I struggle with this as well, though I do not always realise it. Unfortunately, humans are creatures of comfort - we seek to do the least amount of "work" for the greatest amount of "rewards", which is the exact thing sites like reddit, facebook, twitter, etc. offer. Hence the addiction.
> "I know these things are designed to steal my attention but I’m supposed to be stronger than that." I think this is the wrong way to look at it. I do not doubt that you are strong, but thinking this way will eventually place you on a road to lowered self esteem, and much self loathing. You don't want this, it will exacerbate the bad behaviours. Try instead to be patient with yourself, try to look at yourself as a continuously improving person. This way you will see that "bad times" in your life are limited - hitting rock-bottom means the only way left to go is up.
> "Like many of us, I made promises to myself for the new year. (...) I keep lying to myself that I’ll do these things later when the moment is right." I relate to this issue, I really do. I do not really make plans for the new year, I find that having such broad and general objectives is a way to disappoint yourself, leading to lower self-esteem, and a bunch of other problems. What I did last year was that I did not set any broad objectives. I just tried to make changes. For example, I made a habit of reading or going for a walk after leaving work. I did this from time to time, though not all the time, but now looking back I can always say that last year I read more books than the year before. The general idea is that you are not competing with others, or with your own objectives and standards. In life you are competing with yourself from the past. Any improvement is good, no matter how marginal.
> "I know I can do better than this." You can. Have patience and try to improve marginally everyday. And when you cannot, don't be harsh on yourself. Just have patience, and be kind to yourself. This doesn't mean you should find excuses for bad behaviours, it means that you should not criticise yourself for not being the best version of you at this moment. If it helps, try to think of yourself as your own underperforming employee - you don't want to constantly insult and berate him all the time for not being good, you want him to improve day by day - thus, you will give him only helpful advice and criticism on what he could be doing better.