sounds like you're missing the point of crypto. it's not about the data management, I think some ETH clients use postgres internally, the blockchain as a network is about removing central coordinators and trust assumptions (including ones we take for granted in our society)
forks set their genesis state as a snapshot of a block on the original chain. if anything you now have twice as much money since your account has funds on the old chain and the new one
I've found learning new things can be very difficult and have definitely at times felt the same way you do.
One thing that has helped motivate me was to work with other people that have similar goals. I don't know if you have any friends or peers that you can collaborate on projects with but a more relaxed environment where multiple people share a common goal in learning has helped me to overcome personal struggles.