> Figure out what you want, and hopefully in doing so you'll quickly discover what you need.
This I believe is the core of the issue. Thanks for helping out a stranger on the web - I really appreciate it.
> why not try to join one instead of dealing with the headache of founding one
While I'm not primarily money motivated, joining an early stage startup is really a bad decision for my individual case (assuming I can go back to FAANG as an EM/Dir+). IMO startup founders have a significantly better deal when compared to employee #1. I get that it's also much harder to be a founder than an employee but I would argue that it's worth at best 5-10x if you're an employee < 10-15.
> You can still differentiate yourself. For example, find out what users don't like about competing services or products, and why they don't like it. What other features do similar apps/products/services offer, and what else are users asking for? Offer that.
I think this is true for challenging established or med/late stage startups but I keep running into seed/Series A startups or agencies. I'm less so worried about the agencies since their breadwinner is usually their consultancy service and their SaaS/tool offerings serve as marketing.
> What do you want out of a co-founder? Letting HN know what you're looking for might help you find the right person. Chances are the right person is out there, and very well might be reading your post - but they don't know what you're looking for. Do you want a business oriented person? A product focused person? A marketing expert? Someone with a finance background? So many variables here.
Because I'm not pursuing a specific idea I'm very flexible and it's hurting my chances. I have a chicken and an egg problem between figuring out the business & finding the right people to help me with it. The advice I read online suggests focusing on the people first (since the biz idea changes a lot) but I'm not super sure about it.