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oceanghost

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oceanghost
·4 वर्ष पहले·discuss
My tuition at a prominent UC in the late 90s (per quarter)... was $1200. Books probably added another $600 to that.
oceanghost
·4 वर्ष पहले·discuss
I'm the same way. If you haven't looked into it, you might want a "sunrise clock" of about 10,000lux if possible. This assumes you don't have a partner who would be bothered by it :-)
oceanghost
·5 वर्ष पहले·discuss
I know its been a week-- had some life happen. My e-mail address is in my profile.
oceanghost
·5 वर्ष पहले·discuss
One lives and one learns my friend :)
oceanghost
·5 वर्ष पहले·discuss
Christ. Same here.

The ex moved 45 mins away and insisted I pick up and drop off the child. When I started refusing, she just abandoned the kid at her mothers house, betting correctly that I would comply (which i had to).

We had a legal agreement at my ex's insistence that we wouldn't disparage each-other. Now and then I hear from my daughter how I'm a "bad daddy"-- I have never said a single bad thing about my ex to my kiddo despite her cheating, stealing money, using my family and lying to not only our friends and family but the police to get custody.

If you need support or anything, I'm happy to lend an ear.
oceanghost
·5 वर्ष पहले·discuss
This is a huge problem with smart watches.
oceanghost
·5 वर्ष पहले·discuss
My million dollar app idea-- which I can't write because the OS's won't allow it... is I'd like fine grained control over my notifications. I used to do the Pomodoro thing and found it quite effective-- Id like to apply the idea to notifications as well.

It would work like this:

A list of firewall rules about who/what was able to send notifications. The firewall would be able to bump up or down the priority of a message, or discard them. Including rules being able to match say a regex inside the text, sender, time of day filtering.

And then at some specified interval (I would use 25 mins), I get all my notifications that didn't meet the emergency criteria in the firewall.

The iOS Focus mode does seem promising though.
oceanghost
·5 वर्ष पहले·discuss
I live in California and it has been illegal since 2009, but our society is in shambles as you are no doubt aware, enforcing cell phone laws is the least of our worries...

This was also probably no more than 2009 anyways as I was literally trying to get a date with my now ex-wife.

That being said it was a dumb thing to do.
oceanghost
·5 वर्ष पहले·discuss
I am sorry to hear that. If I can be a resource for you at all let me know. It might be better for you to learn from my mistakes than yours.
oceanghost
·5 वर्ष पहले·discuss
grrr, I meant I haven't seen them together not I haven't met him.
oceanghost
·5 वर्ष पहले·discuss
My brother who is a mental health professional says she's an avoidant-- but I think she may be both frankly.
oceanghost
·5 वर्ष पहले·discuss
I agree completely and this was a looonngggg time ago (2009?).
oceanghost
·5 वर्ष पहले·discuss
She has not, but she's living with someone. I have not met him, but I can tell he's falling for the manipulation because I'm picking up my daughter from HIM most days instead of her (meaning, he's doing her dirtywork like driving our daughter places).

She was the kind of person, if you weren't doing exactly what she wanted you to, you were a piece of shit. Once I realized what was going on (our early relationship was much, much different, I would have never married someone like this) I stopped paying this game and it infuriated her to not have power over me.

Could I throw something at you-- I am sorry to be rude-- could it be your wife thinks you are cheating or is cheating herself? This was what I think was driving my ex-wife's behavior. One, to verify that I was at work and not cheating, and to make sure I was at work so she could cheat herself.
oceanghost
·5 वर्ष पहले·discuss
So I left one story out of my little rant-- which was my ex-wife would do exactly what you described. She would text and then if I hadn't responded in a few minutes she'd call the receptionist and/or my desk phone. It was infuriating because she rarely answered a text in less than a few hours.

She said that it upset her when she couldn't reach me--and that's one of the reasons she's an ex-wife. Her go to manipulation tactic was this sort of ask for some sort of compromise or make some sort of promise with absolutely not intention of keeping her end of the bargain.
oceanghost
·5 वर्ष पहले·discuss
I wanted to say this. I hate how small the world has become and how we're supposed to be "reachable" all the time.

Some of my friends will freak out if I don't text back in as little as 5 minutes. A particular needy friend once tried to get me to "promise" that I would always return her texts within 10 minutes.

I said "hard no" explaining that it meant that it meant that I could never watch a movie uninterrupted, read a book, take a nap, etc. Also, Driving. I don't answer texts while I'm driving because I literally got in an accident texting (it was a freak circumstance, but these things do happen).

I have purposefully started training my friends by being erratic with my texts/messages/e-mails.

I have another friend who always calls on his commute home and gets offended when I don't answer. The idea alone that someone is obligated to answer the phone is insane. What if I don't want to spend an hour shooting the shit with you because I'm doing something else?

I miss the days when I could just walk away from contact.
oceanghost
·5 वर्ष पहले·discuss
I know you're agreeing with me, so I'm not trying to bust your balls here, but I have a weird thought experiment about a real life scenario.

I have a friend whose white, a trans woman, and who worked at Blizzard for 10 years, but was a man during that time. I swear I'm not making this up.

Assuming she did none of the actual harassing, how responsible is she now as a white trans woman, for the culture at Blizzard?
oceanghost
·5 वर्ष पहले·discuss
Your view is completely toxic and you're a fool, a racist and a sexist.

As a white male-- I have no more control over society than anyone else. I have absolutely no power over these power structures that oppress us all.
oceanghost
·5 वर्ष पहले·discuss
Please don't conflate "white men" with these assholes.

I'm so tired of being blamed for the behavior of folks with the same genitalia/skin color as me.
oceanghost
·9 वर्ष पहले·discuss
Shit, me too. I started a book club at my employer and gave out like a dozen copies.