Being fat, obese, and sedentary is my workaround for the illegality of suicide. If I die of a heart attack at my desk because the stress of work finally got me, at least those who loved me and expected more from me won't think I didn't try.
>A shoggoth (occasionally shaggoth) is a fictional monster in the Cthulhu Mythos. The beings were mentioned in passing in H. P. Lovecraft's sonnet cycle Fungi from Yuggoth (1929–30), and later mentioned in other works, before being described in detail in his novella At the Mountains of Madness (1931).
I constantly wonder, however, if my true purpose is to be a failure. Maybe God needs someone for others to point at and say "see that guy, don't live your life that way."
I've been daydreaming about suicide every day for years now.
Good thing I created a throwaway account so that the background check investigators for my high-stakes job won't be able to link this sentiment to my real identity. After all, I am responsible for a lot of people.