I'm going to be a little hypocritical here since I hate when I ask for help on the internet and people tell me instead to not want to do that thing... but:
Surely a much easier thing to do would be to simply stop being offended by the human body? Just watch the movies anyway. Your kids won't explode if they see a boob.
This reminds me of when I went thru all different low calorie sweeteners to put in coffee until I realized this is a problem I created myself and coffee is actually better if I just get used to having it plain.
Accidentally doing too much ketamine and badly k-holing (by snorting) is one of the worst experiences of my life. Maybe the worst. It was exactly as you described, it's like you're being cut off from reality and have no way back. It's like being plunged into the bottom of the ocean, darkness, everything real is distant, you try to move but you can't - it's like someone has unplugged all your sensory organs and limbs.
And it comes in waves -- just when you think you're coming out of it, it pulls you back down.
I swore off ketamine for life after that and don't plan on ever touching it again. I would take a bad comedown from stimulants over that. I would take the feeling of hopelessness, anhedonia, and thorough depression from a bad MDMA comedown any day. To be fair, both things only happen if you do too much, it's avoidable, and it was entirely my fault for not weighing the dose.
And I still think therapeutic ketamine for depression should be studied and trialled and legal. But still, K-holing was an absolutely horrifying experience and I don't recommend it to anyone for any reason.
And it probably was only not even worse because I was also on MDMA.
I'm the same. I'm in a loop where I hold a job for a few months (IT support, recently, contract work, so that they're okay with me leaving), 10 months or so at the most, and then quit so I have my spare time (and energy) back. The last two times, I went overseas with no plan past the first few days. The key thing about after-work and weekend hours is they aren't as useful for getting things done as weekday hours, because you're tired from work.
I just quit a pretty relaxed IT job to move from Australia to Scotland and live in a hostel.
I'm working on a really exciting coding project now, which I've had the idea for for about a year, but never had the time and energy for before. However, I will soon run out of money, and will need a job.
My plan was to do this for a short time, then apply for development jobs once I got a few things finished for my portfolio of work. But - and maybe this is one of the reasons I've held myself back for so long already - I've realized recently I'm too scared. I'm too scared of going back to 9 to 5, even if I'm out of IT and into development. I'm too scared of having someone else in control of how I spend my time. I'm scared of no longer having the chance to become someone exceptional, someone accomplished, someone unique. I'm scared of deciding on a life and then feeling stuck with it.
I'm considering trying something crazy and risky like acting, and coding on the side, or freelance, if I can manage that.
I am reminded of this passage from from A Scanner Darkly by Philip K Dick:
" The pain, the cut in his scalp, so unexpected and undeserved, had for some reason cleared away the cobwebs. It flashed on him instantly that he didn’t hate the kitchen cabinet: he hated his wife, his two daughters, his whole house, the back yard with its power mower, the garage, the radiant heating system, the front yard, the fence, the whole fucking place and everyone in it.
That life had been one without excitement, with no adventure. It had been too safe. All the elements that made it up were right there before his eyes, and nothing new could ever be expected. It was like, he had once thought, a little plastic boat that would sail on forever, without incident, until it finally sank, which would be a secret relief to all.
In this dark world where he now dwelt, ugly things and surprising things and once in a long while a tiny wondrous thing spilled out at him constantly; he could count on nothing."
Surely a much easier thing to do would be to simply stop being offended by the human body? Just watch the movies anyway. Your kids won't explode if they see a boob.
This reminds me of when I went thru all different low calorie sweeteners to put in coffee until I realized this is a problem I created myself and coffee is actually better if I just get used to having it plain.