Being mindful and being introspective are two different things. Most people experience anxiety (including me) from being introspective since they fail to let go feelings after experiencing them. This is a skill that requires exercise and IMO psychedelics are helpful to change the game and let people exercise this.
It’s been 23 years and my grief is still fresh as if he died last week. I was very young too and I’m realizing these days that I didn’t even have a chance to grieve while consoling my mom and figuring out what I was going to do with my life. I’m glad that I tried to stick with the kind of life how my brother wanted me to live. I loved him so much that the the excitement and joy I had when he visited us is something that I never experienced after he passed away. He is still my beacon even though we had only so little time together. Thanks for sharing this.