There are quite a few errors in the copy, which are likely to put off some users. For example: "You're writing is made up of pieces" (rather than the correct "Your writing").
Based on the numbers provided in the post, it sounds like the best case scenario is:
o). 41 people got hired in total after being asked this question.
o). 4 of those were hired despite answering it badly.
o). Those 4 people did not do well. (these were hires where the manager was specifically overruled in hiring them)
o). The other 37 did well. (these were hires where the manager was not overruled)
Ie. an interesting, thought provoking post, but tough to draw any definitive conclusions..
I think some of it's good, but that in the main it ignores the needs of the reader in favour of your personal needs.
A good cover letter answers 6 key questions. Within that, you can employ as much creativity as you like, as long as you keep things either A) succinct, or B) entertaining enough to pull the reader through.
The 6 key questions you need to answer for the reader are:
1. Which position you're applying for.
2. Can you do the job from a functional point of view?
3. Can you do the job from an organisational point of view? (human awareness, business awareness)
4. Are you motivated to do the job?
5. Are you the type of person they'd enjoy working with?
6. Should they actually get in touch with you?
Here's how I'd mark you on those:
1. 0/10.
2. 8/10.
3. 0/10.
4. 6/10.
5. Subjective, but I'd say 4/10.
6. 7/10.
Total: 21/50. Presumably you'd score better on '1' in a real-life situation, therefore 31/50.