Show HN: Tree of Reddit Sex Life(observablehq.com)
observablehq.com
Show HN: Tree of Reddit Sex Life
https://observablehq.com/@stared/tree-of-reddit-sex-life
129 comments
> Until it becomes socially acceptable to talk openly about
Well you see, I would hate to live in a world where it became socially acceptable to talk about human sexuality
I think it is good to be able to talk about it to your close friends / family
But I'm already disgusted when I hear coworkers talk about porn or their (most of the time imaginary) sexual life.
I think it is a very personal subject, and maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like you'd get less freedom in your sexual life if everybody was talking openly about it. Part of why I think that way is: people have weird fetishes for example, you could think in a society where you can talk openly about sex and you sexual life you could talk about your weird fetish, but I don't think that's the case, only "popular" fetishes / sexual preferences would be discussed, and "weird" fetishes / sexual preferences would be seen as degenerate.
Again this is my opinion, maybe I'm wrong, but I would definitely not want to talk openly about sex with random people.
Well you see, I would hate to live in a world where it became socially acceptable to talk about human sexuality
I think it is good to be able to talk about it to your close friends / family
But I'm already disgusted when I hear coworkers talk about porn or their (most of the time imaginary) sexual life.
I think it is a very personal subject, and maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like you'd get less freedom in your sexual life if everybody was talking openly about it. Part of why I think that way is: people have weird fetishes for example, you could think in a society where you can talk openly about sex and you sexual life you could talk about your weird fetish, but I don't think that's the case, only "popular" fetishes / sexual preferences would be discussed, and "weird" fetishes / sexual preferences would be seen as degenerate.
Again this is my opinion, maybe I'm wrong, but I would definitely not want to talk openly about sex with random people.
As a society, we should talk about sex. Otherwise, it is something between a hidden topic and a fuel for inappropriate jokes. With the taboo mindset, it is hard to tackle problems (lack of sexual education, mental and physical problems, miscommunication, consent, boundaries, etc) in a meaningful way.
I support sex-positivity. It does not require one to like it (I know asexual sex-positive feminists), but to believe that all consensual, in-good-faith practices are fine. We may not be interested in them at all, or personally find them repealing, but it shouldn't be different from not liking a particular food.
Vide "10 things sex-positivity is not" (https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/08/10-things-sex-positivit...). Among other points:
"7. Making Other People Listen to Your Sex Stories."
(Which goes both ways, so you don't need to like hearing others' sexual life details.)
I support sex-positivity. It does not require one to like it (I know asexual sex-positive feminists), but to believe that all consensual, in-good-faith practices are fine. We may not be interested in them at all, or personally find them repealing, but it shouldn't be different from not liking a particular food.
Vide "10 things sex-positivity is not" (https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/08/10-things-sex-positivit...). Among other points:
"7. Making Other People Listen to Your Sex Stories."
(Which goes both ways, so you don't need to like hearing others' sexual life details.)
There is a lot more to the human body than sex. It's just the one thing that society is obsessed over.
In terms of health outcomes talking about your bowels movement, preferably with photographic evidence, would mean that many types of cancers of the digestive tract would be caught early enough to be treatable. As opposed to the current system where you will more than likely not notice the trace amount of bleeding that are symptomatic to most of them.
I have yet to see anyone seriously propose tackling this, even though in terms of death rate all sexually transmitted diseases taken together are only half as deadly as stomach cancer alone.
In terms of health outcomes talking about your bowels movement, preferably with photographic evidence, would mean that many types of cancers of the digestive tract would be caught early enough to be treatable. As opposed to the current system where you will more than likely not notice the trace amount of bleeding that are symptomatic to most of them.
I have yet to see anyone seriously propose tackling this, even though in terms of death rate all sexually transmitted diseases taken together are only half as deadly as stomach cancer alone.
Ever heard of German toilets? I don't know if they're prevalent anymore, but the rather than being preemptively filled with water, the classic German toilet is dry so you can inspect your stool and then flush it with a strong current of water.
I've heard one person who migrated to Germany as an adult say it's because German cuisine features all kinds of sausages which can give you stomach parasites. But I might be paraphrasing this story to the point it's inaccurate.
I've heard one person who migrated to Germany as an adult say it's because German cuisine features all kinds of sausages which can give you stomach parasites. But I might be paraphrasing this story to the point it's inaccurate.
Maybe I'm being provincial, but if your food standards leave you regularly inspecting your own stool for parasites before flushing, you might want to reconsider them.
I hope your source was joking with you.
I hope your source was joking with you.
I don't know that it's just "German" - it's the kind of bowl I was used to in Europe before moving to Canada.
I am still not convinced that I enjoy the gentle splashback as the stool hits the vastly over-generous lake of water in most public toilets :-/
I am still not convinced that I enjoy the gentle splashback as the stool hits the vastly over-generous lake of water in most public toilets :-/
This is literally the first modern internet meme, but you can avoid that unfortunate effect by first setting a leaf-thin layer of toilet paper on top of the water.
But often I just really want to poop right away :)
Are you familiar with the paper napkins rolled up so tight they look like a peppermint, and when they get wet they unfurl? Maybe American toilets should have a jar of those things next to it on a shelf so you can quickly drop one in and go on with your business :)
For extra vintage meme, they should be shaped like sea shells.
Are you familiar with the paper napkins rolled up so tight they look like a peppermint, and when they get wet they unfurl? Maybe American toilets should have a jar of those things next to it on a shelf so you can quickly drop one in and go on with your business :)
For extra vintage meme, they should be shaped like sea shells.
> and then flush it with a strong current of water.
Reality: there is a porcelain shelf with a permanent poop stain on it because no current is strong enough to remove the smear
Reality: there is a porcelain shelf with a permanent poop stain on it because no current is strong enough to remove the smear
The problem with this is that there are societies that are already like this and they are not good for a vast majority of people. I come from India where talking about sex is not done and, further, most people are married off by their parents. I have a friend who is going through a divorce because her husband is not interested in sex at all. He thinks it should not be an issue. She broke down at one point and told me that after 5 years of marriage she is still a virgin. He thinks there is nothing wrong with it. His parents are on his side. To me this is an absolutely tragic thing. She has lost 5 years of what could be a joyful exploration of her sexuality and, added to it, has the stigma of being a divorcee. We are sexual creatures, there should be nothing wrong in acknowledging it.
> but I feel like you'd get less freedom in your sexual life if everybody was talking openly about it. Part of why I think that way is: people have weird fetishes for example, you could think in a society where you can talk openly about sex and you sexual life you could talk about your weird fetish, but I don't think that's the case, only "popular" fetishes / sexual preferences would be discussed, and "weird" fetishes / sexual preferences would be seen as degenerate.
Likely exactly the other way around: people would hear other people having weird fetishes, and they would understand that most people have this weird side to them, and they would be more ok with their own weirdness.
Likely exactly the other way around: people would hear other people having weird fetishes, and they would understand that most people have this weird side to them, and they would be more ok with their own weirdness.
You currently get looked at weird if you say you're interested in trains or stamp collecting or something. I think this prediction is a bit too optimistic.
Superheroes and fantasy have become mainstream over the last few decades. Things do change.
The 2 topics you mentioned simply didn't enjoy a general audience. But the people who did enjoy them did so relatively out in the open.
I can't think of a time in recent history when any weird sex fetish was openly discuss the weirder fetishes.
I can't think of a time in recent history when any weird sex fetish was openly discuss the weirder fetishes.
I object to the word 'weird' here but I get your point.
A time that comes to mind is Fifty Shades of Grey bringing sadomasochism into popular culture and discussion.
A time that comes to mind is Fifty Shades of Grey bringing sadomasochism into popular culture and discussion.
(I will argue) the reason 50 Shades could be popular in the first place was because it is fundamentally anti-bdsm: it deploys it for titillation, but safely defines it as 'bad' and those who engage in such are 'broken' and everything is wrapped up and 'fixed' in the end (of the trilogy), so the audience gets to have the 'naughty thing' but get their previously conceived notion of 'it was bad and always will be so' re-enforced at the end.
Sadomasochism has been in the public eye for a long time. Fifty shades of gray made it popular to carry a book about it on the bus, but this was absolutely not an unrecognized fetish prior. It was (and is) one of the more openly discussed kinks.
If I called them “normal” my comment wouldn’t have made sense. “Perceived as weird by society” maybe?
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Look at society and political opinions, these days if you're not politically correct you're being shamed and put apart from the rest. Talking about it didn't make people understand that "most people have this weird side of them", on the contrary
I don't like porn being mainstream, and I don't want to know how is a fury or not at my office. I don't think you need approval or random people to feel better. Find someone you love, find good friends, if you're lucky have a family. These are the people you want to talk these subjects, not some random coworker or someone you've met 2min ago.
I don't like porn being mainstream, and I don't want to know how is a fury or not at my office. I don't think you need approval or random people to feel better. Find someone you love, find good friends, if you're lucky have a family. These are the people you want to talk these subjects, not some random coworker or someone you've met 2min ago.
At least 8 times out of 10, those complaining about "political correctness" are complaining that they are expected to treat others respectfully. Not calling someone by the right gender when they know what the person prefers, for example. I don't think folks should get offended when strangers mess up, but that's another story.
Sometimes random people are the best folks to talk to about this stuff. Just like other things, they might mention something you simply never considered before. Besides, you really have no way of knowing how much the coworkers speak, and most aren't talking about this in the first hour of work.
Porn being mainstream means that folks don't have to hide the behavior as much and no one will be surprised when they find out their lover, sibling, friend, or so on watches porn.
I truly don't want to have a family - I do not want children. I'm female and 40, and I hate folks pushing this stuff on me. There is much more to life than this sort of thing. The goal of life isn't to find love either. I'm OK being by myself, thank you. (I happen to be married, to one of my few friends, and that's OK too).
If you don't like these conversations, ask the people not to have them in earshot of you. I don't see what the big deal is with that.
Sometimes random people are the best folks to talk to about this stuff. Just like other things, they might mention something you simply never considered before. Besides, you really have no way of knowing how much the coworkers speak, and most aren't talking about this in the first hour of work.
Porn being mainstream means that folks don't have to hide the behavior as much and no one will be surprised when they find out their lover, sibling, friend, or so on watches porn.
I truly don't want to have a family - I do not want children. I'm female and 40, and I hate folks pushing this stuff on me. There is much more to life than this sort of thing. The goal of life isn't to find love either. I'm OK being by myself, thank you. (I happen to be married, to one of my few friends, and that's OK too).
If you don't like these conversations, ask the people not to have them in earshot of you. I don't see what the big deal is with that.
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> I would definitely not want to talk openly about sex with random people.
I wouldn't discuss my sex life with random people either.
But my wife and I have some close friends who are obviously having serious issues because the woman involved always ends up crying about it when we've all had one too many to drink. Unfortunately she won't discuss it at all when sober, which is a real shame as they're such a fantastic couple otherwise and we do desperately want them to work it out.
At the very least there could be something very normal going on that we could reassure them about and help them get over any anxiety that might be caused as a result.
Unfortunately these things aren't really discussed between friends and so she has to suffer in silence or use alcohol to deal with her problems.
[Posting under a throwaway as IRL friends know my username and could find this.]
I wouldn't discuss my sex life with random people either.
But my wife and I have some close friends who are obviously having serious issues because the woman involved always ends up crying about it when we've all had one too many to drink. Unfortunately she won't discuss it at all when sober, which is a real shame as they're such a fantastic couple otherwise and we do desperately want them to work it out.
At the very least there could be something very normal going on that we could reassure them about and help them get over any anxiety that might be caused as a result.
Unfortunately these things aren't really discussed between friends and so she has to suffer in silence or use alcohol to deal with her problems.
[Posting under a throwaway as IRL friends know my username and could find this.]
> but I feel like you'd get less freedom in your sexual life if everybody was talking openly about it. Part of why I think that way is: people have weird fetishes for example, you could think in a society where you can talk openly about sex and you sexual life you could talk about your weird fetish, but I don't think that's the case, only "popular" fetishes / sexual preferences would be discussed, and "weird" fetishes / sexual preferences would be seen as degenerate.
In Chuck Rhoades words: "... At best, maybe on the way you tell someone who you really are. And maybe they like it. And maybe you feel just a little bit more comfortable in your own skin, as I finally do in mine!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qgvfC1hJkY
In Chuck Rhoades words: "... At best, maybe on the way you tell someone who you really are. And maybe they like it. And maybe you feel just a little bit more comfortable in your own skin, as I finally do in mine!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qgvfC1hJkY
> Well you see, I would hate to live in a world where it became socially acceptable to talk about human sexuality
...
> I think it is a very personal subject, and maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like you'd get less freedom in your sexual life if everybody was talking openly about it.
I think this highligh the problem: in our society, sex is something special. It should not be.
Sex is like eating. It's a normal, regular part of life. There is nothing special about it. It's nice, it's fun, it's good for you.
The fact most people see it differently is a big blocker, and creates so many issues in humanity.
I think this highligh the problem: in our society, sex is something special. It should not be.
Sex is like eating. It's a normal, regular part of life. There is nothing special about it. It's nice, it's fun, it's good for you.
The fact most people see it differently is a big blocker, and creates so many issues in humanity.
There's another school that says sex can be much more than eating. To reduce it to a normal activity is cynical. Yes, like pizza, even when its bad, its good. But it can be much more than just 'good'.
So go ahead and talk about it like its just tennis or something. I talk about stopping at McD's too. Not very interesting, nothing special.
So go ahead and talk about it like its just tennis or something. I talk about stopping at McD's too. Not very interesting, nothing special.
Some people think collecting pokemon cards is special. We love to do that. Our kids are special. Ou god is special. Our situation is so special. This separates us, and there is not need for special when the whole universe is already astonishing in every ways.
It's not cynical, to call it cynical is just comming from the point of view of jugement. I would not juge breathing, why the hell would I juge sex ?
Seen a thing for a simple, enjoyable part of life is the very opposite of cynical. It's inclusive. It's embracing existance. It's also sane to not take things too seriously. Life has enough challenge to not had artificial difficulties.
It's not cynical, to call it cynical is just comming from the point of view of jugement. I would not juge breathing, why the hell would I juge sex ?
Seen a thing for a simple, enjoyable part of life is the very opposite of cynical. It's inclusive. It's embracing existance. It's also sane to not take things too seriously. Life has enough challenge to not had artificial difficulties.
I guess some folks have never experienced what it can be, then. To only see it as a simple, enjoyable part of life (like pokemon) diminishes what it can be by orders of magnitude.
But go ahead, continue sipping from the cup of life! That's all it will be for some folks I guess.
But go ahead, continue sipping from the cup of life! That's all it will be for some folks I guess.
I've heard this one about so many things. I deeply and honestly followed people saying it to see what they meant. Spirituality, sex, drug, philosophy, meditation, human relationships, sport, games, love, traveling...
The link between all of them is how much they over sell their experience and pretend they have access to something unique other people just don't get.
The link between all of them is how much they over sell their experience and pretend they have access to something unique other people just don't get.
Or, just a suggestion, maybe it's not happened to everybody yet.
That is a pretty disturbing view of sex and I would hate to live in a society where it was common to see it as nothing special. I think anything considered taboo is naturally much more special.
Pooping is taboo. Periods are taboo. Being gay is taboo. Psychedelic are taboo. Death is taboo. Money in my country is taboo.
Hell, for a long time, things like tattoos, breast feeding, and psychoanalysis were taboo.
In some culture, women have to hide behind religious clothing because their body is taboo.
A taboo is just a symptom of a society being sick. Taboo get people frustrated, violent, judgemental, unhappy.
It's in the same category as a dogma, as a basic "bad" or "good" label, as a blindness faith or a never criticized tradition. It's inertia. It's simplistic.
But the funny thing is... taboo is nothing special either. Just human nature.
Hell, for a long time, things like tattoos, breast feeding, and psychoanalysis were taboo.
In some culture, women have to hide behind religious clothing because their body is taboo.
A taboo is just a symptom of a society being sick. Taboo get people frustrated, violent, judgemental, unhappy.
It's in the same category as a dogma, as a basic "bad" or "good" label, as a blindness faith or a never criticized tradition. It's inertia. It's simplistic.
But the funny thing is... taboo is nothing special either. Just human nature.
> I don't think that's the case, only "popular" fetishes / sexual preferences would be discussed, and "weird" fetishes / sexual preferences would be seen as degenerate.
This is not unique to sexual preferences. Anything at all has an overton window and even permissive societies shun views that fall outside that.
There's this whole pop culture theme of 'be brave and be yourself' going around, and it's bullshit, because what it really means is 'be yourself as long as you're typical'. People who dare to be themselves and expose uncommon views or preferences are shunned every day.
This is not unique to sexual preferences. Anything at all has an overton window and even permissive societies shun views that fall outside that.
There's this whole pop culture theme of 'be brave and be yourself' going around, and it's bullshit, because what it really means is 'be yourself as long as you're typical'. People who dare to be themselves and expose uncommon views or preferences are shunned every day.
> People who dare to be themselves and expose uncommon views or preferences are shunned every day.
This is false, when put it in the big picture - which is necessary. As they say, "Poor people are crazy; rich people are eccentric."; it's not about money; it's about having personality.
In this sense, eccentricity ("uncommon views", etc.) is a multiplier. If a person is perceived as a "loser", and is eccentric, they're going to be even more, and ultimately an outcast. If they're instead perceived as a "winner", they're going to be even more winner, and ultimately an icon.
Of course part of the big picture is complicated by the surrounding culture, the "taste" in the eccentricity ("gross eccentric" and "racist eccentric" are certainly not good in any case, for example), and so on, but the general principle stands.
Note that I'm using the terms loser/winner quite liberally; it's not easy to capture this human aspect.
This is false, when put it in the big picture - which is necessary. As they say, "Poor people are crazy; rich people are eccentric."; it's not about money; it's about having personality.
In this sense, eccentricity ("uncommon views", etc.) is a multiplier. If a person is perceived as a "loser", and is eccentric, they're going to be even more, and ultimately an outcast. If they're instead perceived as a "winner", they're going to be even more winner, and ultimately an icon.
Of course part of the big picture is complicated by the surrounding culture, the "taste" in the eccentricity ("gross eccentric" and "racist eccentric" are certainly not good in any case, for example), and so on, but the general principle stands.
Note that I'm using the terms loser/winner quite liberally; it's not easy to capture this human aspect.
I somewhat agree to this. I'm a Socialist. I have my own views on the subject that fall out of line with traditional socialism, but I still believe in cooperative society over competitive society.
As a United States citizen, I feel like the moment political preferences are brought up I have to duck out of the conversation or risk being judged very harshly. I've been in situations where I've made my leanings known to a group made up of liberals and conservatives arguing with one another who then immediately band together and try to bash me on how stupid I am for believing in a pipe dream. It's ridiculous.
That said, I have definitely met more tolerant people who are actually willing to have legitimate discussions on the topic. In the U.S., Socialism is a dirty word; just like sex.
I think it really does come down to normalization. If society becomes more open to talking about sex, the effect should start compounding to where it eventually becomes not only something that's OK to discuss, but something that people are expected to discuss. I don't think it will ever really be "elevator conversation", but I think it will be something you can talk about in the open with your friends and acquaintances.
As a United States citizen, I feel like the moment political preferences are brought up I have to duck out of the conversation or risk being judged very harshly. I've been in situations where I've made my leanings known to a group made up of liberals and conservatives arguing with one another who then immediately band together and try to bash me on how stupid I am for believing in a pipe dream. It's ridiculous.
That said, I have definitely met more tolerant people who are actually willing to have legitimate discussions on the topic. In the U.S., Socialism is a dirty word; just like sex.
I think it really does come down to normalization. If society becomes more open to talking about sex, the effect should start compounding to where it eventually becomes not only something that's OK to discuss, but something that people are expected to discuss. I don't think it will ever really be "elevator conversation", but I think it will be something you can talk about in the open with your friends and acquaintances.
Not everybody has the same values as you.
Yeah, I'm not going to say that I consider sex to be disgusting or anything like that, but it's like taking a shit: I know everybody does it but I don't want to hear how, I don't want to imagine it or think of it, thank you very much.
If everybody kept their sexual lives to themselves there would be no talk about what fetishes are degenerate simply because nobody would know what your fetishes are.
If everybody kept their sexual lives to themselves there would be no talk about what fetishes are degenerate simply because nobody would know what your fetishes are.
Sorry, I don't mean I consider sex to be disgusting, I consider hearing about people I don't care having sex disgusting. I think sex is wonderful but personal.
I feel most people think like that:
No talking openly about sex = being shy / narrow minded
I feel most people think like that:
No talking openly about sex = being shy / narrow minded
Equating taking a dump to the strongest social bond we form in our lives, and for most defines us and our lives more than anything else is... poor choice of words to be polite, very very polite.
Christianity had caused a millenia-lasting trauma on western civilization due to its views on sexuality as something sinful and necessary evil, and those views are unfortunately still part of our society to large extent. It will still take a few more generations to undo what has been done, if we keep the current course.
By no mean I do advocate for some extroverty discussion about everything with everybody, I don't get why people immediately get this knee-jerk reactions and think only in extremes, but some healthy middle ground would benefit us all. Actually I get it, it comes from our messed-up legacy from religions.
Discussion about healthy sex life, what it means to live good life, about death etc. should be definitely part of upbringing. There wouldn't be these clueless masses of teenagers/young adults most of us were part of sometime in our lives.
Christianity had caused a millenia-lasting trauma on western civilization due to its views on sexuality as something sinful and necessary evil, and those views are unfortunately still part of our society to large extent. It will still take a few more generations to undo what has been done, if we keep the current course.
By no mean I do advocate for some extroverty discussion about everything with everybody, I don't get why people immediately get this knee-jerk reactions and think only in extremes, but some healthy middle ground would benefit us all. Actually I get it, it comes from our messed-up legacy from religions.
Discussion about healthy sex life, what it means to live good life, about death etc. should be definitely part of upbringing. There wouldn't be these clueless masses of teenagers/young adults most of us were part of sometime in our lives.
> Christianity had caused a millenia-lasting trauma on western civilization due to its views on sexuality
Just curious: What's your take on non-Christian cultures? They seem to have had a variety of views on the acceptability of homosexual sex, polygamy, age of consent, the line between endogamy and incest, acceptability of eunuchs/"third sexes", bride price v. dowery, etc. etc. but none of them really come close a modern Western sexual ethic of consent. Why not, in your view?
Just curious: What's your take on non-Christian cultures? They seem to have had a variety of views on the acceptability of homosexual sex, polygamy, age of consent, the line between endogamy and incest, acceptability of eunuchs/"third sexes", bride price v. dowery, etc. etc. but none of them really come close a modern Western sexual ethic of consent. Why not, in your view?
Because modern Western sexuality is only possible on the foundation that women have 1. equal legal rights (especially divorce), 2. have jobs and their own savings, and 3. have control over their bodies via contraceptives (and abortion). Plus 4. transportation and cities allows escape from the "everyone knows everyone" small village.
Take away any of those and it doesn't work.
Take away any of those and it doesn't work.
I basically agree, but if modern sexuality is impossible without feminism and feminism is impossible with modern technology (the pill, good infant mortality) and dense urban life, it’s silly to blame Christianity for not having had a modern sexuality. If anything, Christianity is the religion that adapted to the new circumstances the fastest, and most thoroughly. It’s just hard to see that if your context is “I grew up evangelical and it sucked” (which is a fair thing to think!).
This isn't a contest who is less bad, or which religion has/had least negative impact on this topic.
I judge only society I live(d) in, which is western, and chilling effects of christianity-based teachings are all over the place, everywhere, in some form in everybody. Sexuality is still mostly tabu, although it doesn't make any sense since we all lose because of this. As somebody deeply within this society and surrounded by christianity, and in the same time outside of christianity since birth it is very obvious for me.
Its also not about bad-people-taken-good-words-and-twisted-them-in-the-past topic, which can be applied on many things in past and present.
Look how desperately unprepared teenagers are for sexual life. It takes a lot of time for many people to discover who they really are, what they want, need, can't stand etc. This is part of growing up, but society should help as much as it can, and I don't see this happening on scale appropriate to importance of this.
This can be part of much broader topic where I see our education systems (aka the process that should prepare us to be full active members of society) fail us to teach basic things - sexuality, communication, team work, understanding and developing yourself into best version of you possible, or even how freakin' taxes (or loans) work.
I judge only society I live(d) in, which is western, and chilling effects of christianity-based teachings are all over the place, everywhere, in some form in everybody. Sexuality is still mostly tabu, although it doesn't make any sense since we all lose because of this. As somebody deeply within this society and surrounded by christianity, and in the same time outside of christianity since birth it is very obvious for me.
Its also not about bad-people-taken-good-words-and-twisted-them-in-the-past topic, which can be applied on many things in past and present.
Look how desperately unprepared teenagers are for sexual life. It takes a lot of time for many people to discover who they really are, what they want, need, can't stand etc. This is part of growing up, but society should help as much as it can, and I don't see this happening on scale appropriate to importance of this.
This can be part of much broader topic where I see our education systems (aka the process that should prepare us to be full active members of society) fail us to teach basic things - sexuality, communication, team work, understanding and developing yourself into best version of you possible, or even how freakin' taxes (or loans) work.
You didn’t answer the question.
The fact that your post was downvoted show how the stigma is still pretty strong.
Since it's something private which I consider to be uncouth, I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to think about penises, vaginas, butts, etc. It's just disgusting. What's so hard about that?
Equating having sex with what is a completely normal bodily function we have to do once a day was indeed a bad choice of words.
So according to your way of seeing things we should be openly talking about how we fuck, how I'd like to fuck you, how I got fucked by that guy the other day. No thank you. Keep it to yourself. There's no middle ground. What would the middle ground look like? I want to put my pee pee in your poo poo?
Equating having sex with what is a completely normal bodily function we have to do once a day was indeed a bad choice of words.
So according to your way of seeing things we should be openly talking about how we fuck, how I'd like to fuck you, how I got fucked by that guy the other day. No thank you. Keep it to yourself. There's no middle ground. What would the middle ground look like? I want to put my pee pee in your poo poo?
I think the parent's point was that it might seem questionable to find penises and vaginas disgusting.
There is a healthy reason to find feces and defecation disgusting - feces carry diseases and are a waste product. Sexuality is not.
There is a healthy reason to find feces and defecation disgusting - feces carry diseases and are a waste product. Sexuality is not.
I think it's a bit unhealthy to find penises and vaginas disgusting, but I wouldn't want to discourage somebody from talking about how they feel, if that's how they feel.
If we want to encourage more openly talking about sex, perhaps it's only fair that we also support people openly talking about what they find disgusting.
There is some healthy biological basis behind a disgust reaction to either, as genital contact carries diseases too, depending on how it's done and the history. In that regard, handling faeces is quite similar to close encounters with gentalia - either can be safer or unsafe depending how it's done, and both are a natural part of life which is healthy in moderation.
If we want to encourage more openly talking about sex, perhaps it's only fair that we also support people openly talking about what they find disgusting.
There is some healthy biological basis behind a disgust reaction to either, as genital contact carries diseases too, depending on how it's done and the history. In that regard, handling faeces is quite similar to close encounters with gentalia - either can be safer or unsafe depending how it's done, and both are a natural part of life which is healthy in moderation.
> Since it's something private which I consider to be uncouth,
The point being made in this discussion is that it is a problem that you think sex is uncouth or disgusting.
The point being made in this discussion is that it is a problem that you think sex is uncouth or disgusting.
I'm sympathetic to sex-positivity and intellectual intentions, but I don't have a sense of how well this aspect of human sexuality fits into HN right now, so I'd only like to suggest a few ideas, from trying to be considerate:
* Researching and learning about human sexuality is good.
* Not everyone has the same ideas about sex-positivity, and, in general, that's the individual's personal business.
* At least in the US (I don't know about other places), we have a long history of sex/gender being involved in unfairness and in making environments unwelcoming/hostile to some, including in the workplace, and we haven't fully fixed that. For that reason, in some environments, such as in the workplace, I think most sex-related stuff should be off-limits for mention. Given the history and unresolved problems, it's too easy to inadvertently be unwelcoming.
* Also regarding the workplace, a company doesn't want to be sued, and so probably doesn't want any unsanctioned mentions of sex/gender at all. (For example, HR might flip out, were the URL to which this HN post links being passed around in company email accounts.)
* This post seems accidentally juxtaposed with yesterday's (?) comments insensitivity, on a top post about a female computer scientist who was instrumental in the historic scientific first of black hole imagery. HN is not a single coherent identity, but HN coming right off that comments poo-show, with a taxonomy of reddit porn, doesn't seem like the best timing for having the work perceived as the author did.
* Researching and learning about human sexuality is good.
* Not everyone has the same ideas about sex-positivity, and, in general, that's the individual's personal business.
* At least in the US (I don't know about other places), we have a long history of sex/gender being involved in unfairness and in making environments unwelcoming/hostile to some, including in the workplace, and we haven't fully fixed that. For that reason, in some environments, such as in the workplace, I think most sex-related stuff should be off-limits for mention. Given the history and unresolved problems, it's too easy to inadvertently be unwelcoming.
* Also regarding the workplace, a company doesn't want to be sued, and so probably doesn't want any unsanctioned mentions of sex/gender at all. (For example, HR might flip out, were the URL to which this HN post links being passed around in company email accounts.)
* This post seems accidentally juxtaposed with yesterday's (?) comments insensitivity, on a top post about a female computer scientist who was instrumental in the historic scientific first of black hole imagery. HN is not a single coherent identity, but HN coming right off that comments poo-show, with a taxonomy of reddit porn, doesn't seem like the best timing for having the work perceived as the author did.
To be honest, I was afraid to post it here (or rather: discussions that it is going to attract). But I am positively surprised to see discussions.
Again, sex-positivity is not about talking about sex everywhere (posted in this thread "10 things sex-positivity isn't" from Everyday Feminism). And, in most circumstances, a workplace is not a place for discussions about sex (unless we know that everyone is comfortable with that topic, which is rarely the case; and you can be sex-positive yet not interested in talking publicly).
HN is not a workplace. If you open it in the workplace, you do it at your own responsibility. Also, I provided a content warning to make sure if someone can stop before it's too late for them.
Again, sex-positivity is not about talking about sex everywhere (posted in this thread "10 things sex-positivity isn't" from Everyday Feminism). And, in most circumstances, a workplace is not a place for discussions about sex (unless we know that everyone is comfortable with that topic, which is rarely the case; and you can be sex-positive yet not interested in talking publicly).
HN is not a workplace. If you open it in the workplace, you do it at your own responsibility. Also, I provided a content warning to make sure if someone can stop before it's too late for them.
Thank you. I think of HN as having significant influence on the dotcom workplace and culture, so I wanted to get a few ideas in at the front. Some of the comments on the black hole imagery post seemed unfortunate to me, so I might've said more here than was necessary.
Author here.
I wrote a description in the main file, so I don't have to add much here. Though, I am open to feedback (especially for the graphical presentation, as the taxonomy & subreddit list is not mine).
Even though I like and use D3.js a lot, it is my first post using ObservableHQ. It seemed to me to be a nice choice for this kind of content. Considered bl.ocks.org or repo/GH-page, but I think ObservableHQ makes it easier to edit and share.
I wrote a description in the main file, so I don't have to add much here. Though, I am open to feedback (especially for the graphical presentation, as the taxonomy & subreddit list is not mine).
Even though I like and use D3.js a lot, it is my first post using ObservableHQ. It seemed to me to be a nice choice for this kind of content. Considered bl.ocks.org or repo/GH-page, but I think ObservableHQ makes it easier to edit and share.
This is neat, however (here comes the harsh critic) :
- Rendering a simple tree like this would work just as well, if better, in text only format (like the output of the "tree" command on linux) : https://justpaste.it/6r9un
- The classification also seems a bit manual and arbitrary.
Maybe giving each node a weight would make d3 worth using ? Maybe scrap the subscribers of each subreddit, and make a force directed "map of reddit nsfw" ?
Your skills seem wasted on this if you're good at d3
- Rendering a simple tree like this would work just as well, if better, in text only format (like the output of the "tree" command on linux) : https://justpaste.it/6r9un
- The classification also seems a bit manual and arbitrary.
Maybe giving each node a weight would make d3 worth using ? Maybe scrap the subscribers of each subreddit, and make a force directed "map of reddit nsfw" ?
Your skills seem wasted on this if you're good at d3
Your text-based tree is nice, but it comes with pros and cons, as every datq visualization. In fact, it was my first idea, but I felt I need to create something better for exploring the high-level structure.
But feel free to do a fork and a viz in this line: https://codepen.io/brendandougan/pen/PpEzRp
There are quite a few maps of Reddit according to co-participation in subreddits.
Though it does not make it semantic. (Maybe semantic things can be extracted from the post content; though, I didn’t try.)
But feel free to do a fork and a viz in this line: https://codepen.io/brendandougan/pen/PpEzRp
There are quite a few maps of Reddit according to co-participation in subreddits.
Though it does not make it semantic. (Maybe semantic things can be extracted from the post content; though, I didn’t try.)
If you wanted to do more than just a straight tree: For any pair of subreddits draw a line between the subs weighted according to the number of commenters that commented in both subreddits. Maybe doing a similar graph with people that post in both subreddits would be interesting too. I expect both variants to yield a somewhat more natural grouping of subreddits than an artifically curated list, but making it readable and explorable would be a challenge.
0: http://files.pushshift.io/reddit/comments/
0: http://files.pushshift.io/reddit/comments/
Well, if you want to do it, go for it.
If I were to do so, I know more suitable methods, vide description from https://github.com/stared/tagoverflow/. Without such normalization, it won't work given that there are networking with different orders of magnitude of users.
Right now don't have much time for this project, and well - I am this kind of person that has a few dozen times for idea than time, not the other way. :)
If I were to do so, I know more suitable methods, vide description from https://github.com/stared/tagoverflow/. Without such normalization, it won't work given that there are networking with different orders of magnitude of users.
Right now don't have much time for this project, and well - I am this kind of person that has a few dozen times for idea than time, not the other way. :)
> The classification also seems a bit manual and arbitrary.
That's because it was basically copied from /r/NSFW411's wiki.
That's because it was basically copied from /r/NSFW411's wiki.
Thank you a lot, a mystery solved!
https://www.reddit.com/r/NSFW411/wiki/index
https://www.reddit.com/r/NSFW411/wiki/index
This is very interesting! I was wondering what the lack of more LGBT (specifically gay) subreddits is due to and why they are grouped the way they are? What I mean is I know there are are a number more gay-related subreddits and I found it interesting that while straight porn got broken down into it's categories all LGBT porn was lumped together under high-level categories (ie. gay/lesbian/transgender/etc).
Edit: Look like I misunderstood what "nsfw_data_source_urls" really was (I thought it was a list of urls to specific images, not a list of subs broken down like it is). I thought it was used to train not the source of the categorization. Given that I understand the grouping more.
Edit: Look like I misunderstood what "nsfw_data_source_urls" really was (I thought it was a list of urls to specific images, not a list of subs broken down like it is). I thought it was used to train not the source of the categorization. Given that I understand the grouping more.
It would be great if you could overlay the number of subscribers of a subreddit in it. It would be a neat way to see what is most prominent. Also, and I don't know if this information is possible to get, if you could get intersections of users in different subreddits, you could see a graph of which subreddits are most tightly connected.
There are such projects, and in fact - I mention two of them.
If you want to obtain data, Related subreddits shared it (150GB or so): https://github.com/anvaka/sayit
If you want to obtain data, Related subreddits shared it (150GB or so): https://github.com/anvaka/sayit
How did you get the URLs given the reddit history search limit? Was it from the big-query dataset?
To be honest, I have no idea. See https://github.com/EBazarov/nsfw_data_source_urls/ for the data source I used.
There is a Reddit bulk downloader capable of downloading ~1000 images from a subreddot: https://github.com/aliparlakci/bulk-downloader-for-reddit (or just image links, if needed); I tested it and it works well.
Though, I have no idea if it was used for the project.
There is a Reddit bulk downloader capable of downloading ~1000 images from a subreddot: https://github.com/aliparlakci/bulk-downloader-for-reddit (or just image links, if needed); I tested it and it works well.
Though, I have no idea if it was used for the project.
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Website is unfortunately unusable on mobile. The decided to disable zoom, and the right side of the tree font size is about 2px high. I've got good eyes but no amount of squinting is going to make that happen.
I can zoom in on the diagram fine on iOS 12.2 Safari (just another data point).
Android Chrome can't zoom at all (anywhere on site, or on chart).
You can if you turn on the "desktop site" option (in the menu in the top right). I believe this works for all sites.
You can force enable zoom on all pages in accessibility settings
It, interestingly, is browser specific. Safari can zoom, chrome can't.
I've been annoyed by chrome's zoom behavior, so this is a delightful find. Thanks!
I've been annoyed by chrome's zoom behavior, so this is a delightful find. Thanks!
Safari ignores directives by the website to disable zoom.
Lots of site owners disable zoom because they think they know best when it comes to content-size. Disabling zoom also makes the site slightly more responsive because when a touch occurs, the browser doesn't have to wait a few hundred milliseconds to see if a 2nd finger is going to be touched to start a zoom action.
Lots of site owners disable zoom because they think they know best when it comes to content-size. Disabling zoom also makes the site slightly more responsive because when a touch occurs, the browser doesn't have to wait a few hundred milliseconds to see if a 2nd finger is going to be touched to start a zoom action.
> Safari ignores directives by the website to disable zoom.
Yep, as of iOS 10 https://webkit.org/blog/7367/new-interaction-behaviors-in-io...
And thank god for that, there were so many sites that disabled zoom for seemingly no reason, and somehow it was always the ones with tiny text or images.
Yep, as of iOS 10 https://webkit.org/blog/7367/new-interaction-behaviors-in-io...
And thank god for that, there were so many sites that disabled zoom for seemingly no reason, and somehow it was always the ones with tiny text or images.
Same here on Sailfish XA2 with Firefox running on Android emulation so I don't know WTF the OP is using ;-)
Same here with same OS version.
In chrome Android click the checkbox under the 3 dots menu labeled "Desktop site". Pinch to zoom works then.
Thanks for this feedback. Yet, there is little I can fix.
It is in ObservableHQ (http://observablehq.com/), with all of its pros and cons.
It is in ObservableHQ (http://observablehq.com/), with all of its pros and cons.
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Workaround: you can click the 3 dots to the left of the chart to download a PNG file and then zoom in (but then of course it's not clickable).
This website is a blank white screen on desktop for me.
Perhaps the author can display some partial reason why I should enable JS on this particular domain?
Perhaps the author can display some partial reason why I should enable JS on this particular domain?
"To render the diagram" is a pretty good reason.
How am I meant to know that from a white screen? Complain on HN?
Because it's a webside dedicated to writing interactive data-visualizations with tools like d3.js with an iPython-style notebook interface. Programmability is the whole point.
Are you claiming that absolutely no content is possible to show here without js enabled? Not even a sentence like yours?
I wouldn't have had a clue without asking. It's basic web courtesy.
I wouldn't have had a clue without asking. It's basic web courtesy.
For a static diagram (a small version, no sibreddits), see: https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/bc6kpw/oc_...
Cheers, that's great.
The link doesn’t contain any pictures, but it does have words inside a diagram. Here is the full quote of the content warning from the link:
>> Begin quote
Content warning: Explicit names of sexual practices (some are niche/fetish and one can find them distasteful or triggering). Most channels contain sexually explicit images. None of these links is an endorsement.
Subreddits are clickable. Though, think twice before you do so. :)
>> End quote
>> Begin quote
Content warning: Explicit names of sexual practices (some are niche/fetish and one can find them distasteful or triggering). Most channels contain sexually explicit images. None of these links is an endorsement.
Subreddits are clickable. Though, think twice before you do so. :)
>> End quote
This is the kind of important explorative research that probably hasn't been done extensively or truthfully before, and yet shows deep insight into how the human mind works.
It's worth noting that this only contains subreddits with explicit NSWF images. There are also who knows how many subreddits that are sexual in nature, but text-only!
It's worth noting that this only contains subreddits with explicit NSWF images. There are also who knows how many subreddits that are sexual in nature, but text-only!
There's also the “well-known (in marginal circles)” map of nsfw subreddits: https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/3z4k7v/map...
Using Reddit as a dataset is a regular pastime on r/dataisbeautiful, so afaik plenty of attempts have been made at this topic.
Using Reddit as a dataset is a regular pastime on r/dataisbeautiful, so afaik plenty of attempts have been made at this topic.
Direct link to the interactive version: http://electronsoup.net/nsfw_subreddits/
It's both beautiful and somewhat disappointing to me: It looks great but I don't get much new insight from looking at it.
It's both beautiful and somewhat disappointing to me: It looks great but I don't get much new insight from looking at it.
This is actually false. There is a section called "literary" that includes some text-only subreddits.
> yet shows deep insight into how the human mind works.
or .... shows shallow insight into how the human mind organizes a vast array of similar information into buckets of similar sub-traits, which really has been done to death.
or .... shows shallow insight into how the human mind organizes a vast array of similar information into buckets of similar sub-traits, which really has been done to death.
i don't know what this data set is showing sociologically. it's just a scrape of data and not very well presented. that said, nice project but go on and give it something else.
It’s a classification. It’d be interesting to see the size of the different subreddits too (number of subscribers and number of threads/replies/posts).
Just to give another opinion, I thought it was very neatly categorized and the tree view was a great way to show it.
This. And it's not even original research. Seems HN is just drooling over anything code & nsfw at random.
Would be interesting to see a graph of how things get reposted between subreddits. Also, I think you missed one quite relevant category: "perspectives". In many cases, it's just about the angle the picture was shot from. Perhaps it's worth including in your research?
No need for suggestions, as this one is obvious. If you want to do so, go for it.
It is a one-shot thing rather than research, BTW.
It is a one-shot thing rather than research, BTW.
The linked article contains a hell of a lot of stuff showing men thinking about women in ways that women would not like to be thought about (en masse at least). I'm completely against political correctness, I think Codes of Conducts on Github are progressive nonsense, but I don't really think this is a pleasant thread to be on HN, and I don't think it contributes to a welcoming atmosphere on HN for women and other non-male genders.
What a trip. I had no clue.
If this is Reddit, I wonder what the dark web holds.
Dark web content is far less well organised - it's more of a 'download all the content and hope' affair.
A decent search engine over the dark web would make it not the dark web anymore...
A decent search engine over the dark web would make it not the dark web anymore...
Not sure what you expect. Apart from purely illegal content like CP, what's the reason not to use Reddit? For anything else Reddit is great for topic communities.
Reddit is doing more and more content restrictions lately.
If I was starting a community for something controversial or borderline illegal (sex acts, drug discussion, discussing pirate movies, radio spoofers, bomb design, etc.), Reddit wouldn't be the place I'd choose anymore.
If I was starting a community for something controversial or borderline illegal (sex acts, drug discussion, discussing pirate movies, radio spoofers, bomb design, etc.), Reddit wouldn't be the place I'd choose anymore.
Wow, I'm quite shocked that reddit allows so much extreme violent content.. It's readily accessible, even advertised as subreddits, and there aren't any warnings or self-help resources. If people get into that stuff, which is readily addictive, I would think it has significant potential for psychological harm, especially for teenagers. One can argue that it's possible to compartmentalize it, but I doubt it since the mind/brain is a single highly integrated system..
Research seems to be mixed, and unfortunately I don't have time to study it in depth, but there are many articles like this: https://www.abc.net.au/religion/pornography-violence-and-sex...
Research seems to be mixed, and unfortunately I don't have time to study it in depth, but there are many articles like this: https://www.abc.net.au/religion/pornography-violence-and-sex...
Huh, apparently some people don't think banana boobs and torpedo tits are the same thing.
Anyway, time for mashups between tree branches!
Anyway, time for mashups between tree branches!
Wow.. it's like an entire part of reddit I was oblivious to.. good work
That's a can of worms unleashed that I never knew!
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Huh that's interesting
Something I wonder about is ... if people can commonly imagine in a "minds eye" [0], why would they use porn?
My ex-wife and I got along fine when we first met. But it wasn't a match made in heaven. We didn't kick boots [1] very often after getting legally hitched. In the dry months I went back to using the internet porn, which i despised/despise, but horny is horny. I would have rather have an imagination [3] or a partner, than 2-dimensional pixels on a screen.
Reddit has vastly more subreddits of pictures of naked women than of naked men. Mostly this is a scarcity thing: penises are a dime a dozen; $$$ is enough to motivate some women to show skin for men who they otherwise have no interest in.
Many young women have vast amounts of interest from men. One of my female friends, who isn't particularly attached to her partners, has a string of ex-boyfriends who obsess over her. She's said something about her fitting the 'wild-woman' archetype, whatever that means.
When women get pregnant they have a long-term project on their hands, so evolution has decided that women get to decide who to father their likely children. (not all human societies respect womens' desires -- arranged marriages, etc. most societies don't help girls appreciate that boys' attraction is entirely different). Feudal societies disposed of excess men with conscription and pointless wars.
Women whose best assets don't show up on the pixels sometimes have to put more effort into fishing for males than those with looks, but they still find partners. A friend of mine, who did not reciprocate my attraction for her, hooked me up with her not-particularly-choosy friend. I did not find the friend particularly attractive, but it was complicated at the time. It was traumatic, and completely unsatisfying.
Men who have money get more attention from women who market their looks. But money is not required for female attention. Some men have figured out how to be smooth, and develop a magnetism for female attention.
Other men have no idea what it is that makes them so annoying to the other gender. Some of these men have latched on to the incel label [2], which seems to feed on itself in a downward spiral.
I suspect many of the redditors who build the subreddits featured in this "tree of reddit sex life" would much rather have partners, than to spend their free hours cultivating collections of pixelated women.
I noted a comment here recently -- one of you fellas told about secretly fantasizing about a coworker (iirc), and that the coworker[s] wouldn't know about the fella's inner fantasies about her/them.
If only 1/50 is an aphantasiac, that's still millions of men who don't fantasize. It's easy for them to turn to the pixelated women to get themselves off when they get horny. But I know men who have a fully-functional imagination, who use porn anyways.
My question for the gallery: imagination is better than porn, is it not? Why do some men put so much effort into their collection of pixelated women? Perhaps it's a compulsion, not so different from heroin?
[0] submission from 2 days ago about aphantasia: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19618927
[1] kick boots -- https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=kickin%27%20...
[2] a woman coined the term 'involuntarily celebate', then she figured herself out and was no longer celibate. The term was taken over by lonely men. https://www.elle.com/culture/news/a34512/woman-who-started-i...
[3] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15176547
My ex-wife and I got along fine when we first met. But it wasn't a match made in heaven. We didn't kick boots [1] very often after getting legally hitched. In the dry months I went back to using the internet porn, which i despised/despise, but horny is horny. I would have rather have an imagination [3] or a partner, than 2-dimensional pixels on a screen.
Reddit has vastly more subreddits of pictures of naked women than of naked men. Mostly this is a scarcity thing: penises are a dime a dozen; $$$ is enough to motivate some women to show skin for men who they otherwise have no interest in.
Many young women have vast amounts of interest from men. One of my female friends, who isn't particularly attached to her partners, has a string of ex-boyfriends who obsess over her. She's said something about her fitting the 'wild-woman' archetype, whatever that means.
When women get pregnant they have a long-term project on their hands, so evolution has decided that women get to decide who to father their likely children. (not all human societies respect womens' desires -- arranged marriages, etc. most societies don't help girls appreciate that boys' attraction is entirely different). Feudal societies disposed of excess men with conscription and pointless wars.
Women whose best assets don't show up on the pixels sometimes have to put more effort into fishing for males than those with looks, but they still find partners. A friend of mine, who did not reciprocate my attraction for her, hooked me up with her not-particularly-choosy friend. I did not find the friend particularly attractive, but it was complicated at the time. It was traumatic, and completely unsatisfying.
Men who have money get more attention from women who market their looks. But money is not required for female attention. Some men have figured out how to be smooth, and develop a magnetism for female attention.
Other men have no idea what it is that makes them so annoying to the other gender. Some of these men have latched on to the incel label [2], which seems to feed on itself in a downward spiral.
I suspect many of the redditors who build the subreddits featured in this "tree of reddit sex life" would much rather have partners, than to spend their free hours cultivating collections of pixelated women.
I noted a comment here recently -- one of you fellas told about secretly fantasizing about a coworker (iirc), and that the coworker[s] wouldn't know about the fella's inner fantasies about her/them.
If only 1/50 is an aphantasiac, that's still millions of men who don't fantasize. It's easy for them to turn to the pixelated women to get themselves off when they get horny. But I know men who have a fully-functional imagination, who use porn anyways.
My question for the gallery: imagination is better than porn, is it not? Why do some men put so much effort into their collection of pixelated women? Perhaps it's a compulsion, not so different from heroin?
[0] submission from 2 days ago about aphantasia: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19618927
[1] kick boots -- https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=kickin%27%20...
[2] a woman coined the term 'involuntarily celebate', then she figured herself out and was no longer celibate. The term was taken over by lonely men. https://www.elle.com/culture/news/a34512/woman-who-started-i...
[3] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15176547
> I suspect many of the redditors who build the subreddits featured in this "tree of reddit sex life" would much rather have partners, than to spend their free hours cultivating collections of pixelated women.
You're projecting your own reasons for turning to porn onto others. Many people with partners still enjoy porn.
> imagination is better than porn, is it not?
Why limit yourself when you can have both? Imagination works better when it has more to source from.
Not that there can't be other reasons for avoiding porn, of course.
> Why do some men put so much effort into their collection of pixelated women? Perhaps it's a compulsion, not so different from heroin?
People put (often immense) effort into collecting all kinds of stuff that they are pleased to see, not sure what makes this different or comparable to heroin addiction.
You're projecting your own reasons for turning to porn onto others. Many people with partners still enjoy porn.
> imagination is better than porn, is it not?
Why limit yourself when you can have both? Imagination works better when it has more to source from.
Not that there can't be other reasons for avoiding porn, of course.
> Why do some men put so much effort into their collection of pixelated women? Perhaps it's a compulsion, not so different from heroin?
People put (often immense) effort into collecting all kinds of stuff that they are pleased to see, not sure what makes this different or comparable to heroin addiction.
Aphant throwaway here.
You can have imagination without visualization.
I don't need visualization to fantasize. I guess what's happening in in mind is just different from how the rest of the people do see/feel/perceive it.
The interesting thing though, is that I never fantasize about real people, but I'm unsure whether or not it's related to aphansasia. If I fantasize about my girlfriend (regardless of if I have one or not in the moment), I'll focus only on the "concept" of the girlfriend.
Like in my dreams, people in my fantasies have no defined face or body. They're just bodies that I identifies as concepts (random person, colleague of type X, brother/sister, girlfriend, cute girl at the bar, etc.) Since I use those concepts without any actual "implementation" (pardon the programming metaphor), and since I can only focus on the emotions or sentiments I have from the (fantasized or not) relations I have with those conceptual human beings, I have no use to associate them to real people.
You can have imagination without visualization.
I don't need visualization to fantasize. I guess what's happening in in mind is just different from how the rest of the people do see/feel/perceive it.
The interesting thing though, is that I never fantasize about real people, but I'm unsure whether or not it's related to aphansasia. If I fantasize about my girlfriend (regardless of if I have one or not in the moment), I'll focus only on the "concept" of the girlfriend.
Like in my dreams, people in my fantasies have no defined face or body. They're just bodies that I identifies as concepts (random person, colleague of type X, brother/sister, girlfriend, cute girl at the bar, etc.) Since I use those concepts without any actual "implementation" (pardon the programming metaphor), and since I can only focus on the emotions or sentiments I have from the (fantasized or not) relations I have with those conceptual human beings, I have no use to associate them to real people.
> Perhaps it's a compulsion, not so different from heroin?
You're not far off as it is often referenced much like any addition. It's also stated that men are more visual so seeing might what helps them use their imaginations.
I agree that the mind has the biggest part in sexuality and imagination has a bigger role.
You're not far off as it is often referenced much like any addition. It's also stated that men are more visual so seeing might what helps them use their imaginations.
I agree that the mind has the biggest part in sexuality and imagination has a bigger role.
> It's also stated that men are more visual so seeing might what helps them use their imaginations.
As further evidence of this, look at the fanfiction community, a community with a large focus on literary depiction of romance and sex that's dominated by women (at least on the author side, where stats are easy to get).
As further evidence of this, look at the fanfiction community, a community with a large focus on literary depiction of romance and sex that's dominated by women (at least on the author side, where stats are easy to get).
no it's not
Tree of Reddit sex life? Isn’t that just a stump?
"While human sexuality is a delicate subject, I deeply believe it should be discussed (vide my Dating for Nerds series) rather than shunned as a taboo topic. Some discussion about ethics and implications of using such data were covered in What I learned from building an AI that generates porn by David Mack."
Until it becomes socially acceptable to talk openly about, we need more people going out on a limb and being open in this way.