Ask HN: How did you find inner peace?
As a software developer, I often struggle to find my inner peace. What are your tactics to keep a fresh mind?
17 comments
Don't make yourself the owner (emotionally) of what isn't yours to own. I can't own whether feature X ships on time. Not when I'm on a team of 10 developers, 6 QA people, two product owners, and some managers.
Even more, don't make work, career, or even skill into your identity. I'm a programmer. I'm good - really good. I take a fair amount of pleasure in making a computer do something that it couldn't before. I don't like it when I go too long without doing that. But that's not who I am. It doesn't threaten my identity when I can't do that for a time.
How do you not have your identity in your work? You have to have it somewhere else. You have to know who you are when you're not at work.
Even more, don't make work, career, or even skill into your identity. I'm a programmer. I'm good - really good. I take a fair amount of pleasure in making a computer do something that it couldn't before. I don't like it when I go too long without doing that. But that's not who I am. It doesn't threaten my identity when I can't do that for a time.
How do you not have your identity in your work? You have to have it somewhere else. You have to know who you are when you're not at work.
> Even more, don't make work, career, or even skill into your identity.
My extension: Generally avoid identity via labels.
I've had introvert friends who hated being socially isolated (from conversations with them) but who refused to be socially active (because they were introverts). A vicious cycle that they can't break out of until they stop trying to be what they believe the label tells them they are. Other labels that are self-selected or imposed by others similarly constrain people and are excellent at leading them to behave in ways they dislike and avoid the things they do like, because they don't fit with their labels.
My extension: Generally avoid identity via labels.
I've had introvert friends who hated being socially isolated (from conversations with them) but who refused to be socially active (because they were introverts). A vicious cycle that they can't break out of until they stop trying to be what they believe the label tells them they are. Other labels that are self-selected or imposed by others similarly constrain people and are excellent at leading them to behave in ways they dislike and avoid the things they do like, because they don't fit with their labels.
The amount of sleep you get may be important. https://scitechdaily.com/hit-the-sleep-sweet-spot-to-keep-br...
Magnesium just before bed may help. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/magnesium-the-most-powerf_b_4...
Reduce coffee, sugar and salt.
Get sleep.
Get exercise.
Breathing right is near magical.
Breathing right is near magical.
These are very good points. (Except maybe salt, what's wrong with salt?). But breathing in particular, I'd say breathing in for 5 seconds and 5 seconds out, and filling your lungs is maybe the most relaxing thing in the world. One could devote life just for appreciating that.
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+ alcohol
Also I’ll add realise it’s just a job. And avoid Twitter and other places where people portray the barbie doll perfection of their careers or lives.
Also get a non technical hobby or two.
Also I’ll add realise it’s just a job. And avoid Twitter and other places where people portray the barbie doll perfection of their careers or lives.
Also get a non technical hobby or two.
The universe existed before I did, it will after I’m gone. Very little matters, in the grand scheme. Do what you can with what you have. That’s the best anyone can do.
Inner peace largely comes from acceptance. In general accepting yourself and coming to terms with your life story.
CBT can do wonders on that front but there are many paths.
CBT can do wonders on that front but there are many paths.
Ketamine + sensory deprivation (earplugs and a silk sleep mask in a comfy bed). Just once, several years ago. There's still plenty of shitty stuff that comes and goes in day-to-day life, but it's a lot easier to brush the dirt off my shoulders now that I've recontextualized my place in the universe and stopped letting society and economic pressures define it for me.
Decent amount of sleep, healthy meals, exercise, sex helps.
Sometimes peace is when you embrace chaos.
Sometimes peace is when you embrace chaos.
If you define yourself as a software developer ("as a software developer") that might be part of the problem.
Identify what's disturbing your peace, determine if it's something you can change. If it is, change it. If it isn't, learn to accept it. If you can't accept it, change your circumstances. Peace restored, repeat as needed.
you don't . u just kinda become numb to things after a while
You're a computation.
That exists inside of a larger computation.
It's just there, running.
That's it.
That exists inside of a larger computation.
It's just there, running.
That's it.