Ask HN: YC Dad Pro Tips
My wife and I are expecting our first child in late November. Truthfully, I never thought I would be a dad, but I am very excited. I am fearful of what the future may hold for me, for my family, and for my child especially in this bold, brazen world we are living in where there are so many unknowns. How does one make the best of it? What are some YC Dad Pro Tips?
6 comments
First of all: Congratulations!!!
Do you really think YC is full of the best dads? (Honest question, I don't have the data to know for sure, but tech-obsessed workaholics probably aren't the best role models)
How about developing yourself, perhaps through books or other material focused on cultivating core parenting skills?
The fact that you are humble enough and care enough to ask here is definitely a good sign! <3
Patience and consistency are key.
Do you really think YC is full of the best dads? (Honest question, I don't have the data to know for sure, but tech-obsessed workaholics probably aren't the best role models)
How about developing yourself, perhaps through books or other material focused on cultivating core parenting skills?
The fact that you are humble enough and care enough to ask here is definitely a good sign! <3
Patience and consistency are key.
Sometimes it can be helpful to ask the devil for advice. So you know what not to do. (:
But humans are… human. And make mistakes. Even humble ones. That’s not meant to sound doom and gloom. Mistakes are opportunities to learn. Not something to be afraid of.
That’s one of the most difficult to teach children. If only because it is difficult to model - it can be difficult to do.
But humans are… human. And make mistakes. Even humble ones. That’s not meant to sound doom and gloom. Mistakes are opportunities to learn. Not something to be afraid of.
That’s one of the most difficult to teach children. If only because it is difficult to model - it can be difficult to do.
Practical Tip: Learn how to do a "swaddle" wrap with a blanket around your infant. This is a kind of "burrito" wrap that cocoons their body. For us it was a damn-near miraculous way to calm the "crying for no reason" (ie when all the usual things like feeding and changing, etc are done).
The explanation is that the sensory input from their limbs flopping around stresses babies out because their brains can't integrate it all yet. Wrapping them up in a secure little bundle and rocking them gently can change things instantly. I learned it from this book (https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/0553393235) but you can also just search the "The Five S's" technique and get the general gist of it.
> especially in this bold, brazen world we are living in where there are so many unknowns.
We pulled out all the stops to make sure we were doing everything as perfectly as we could for our kid from reading the best books to taking classes and getting all the best tools. We worried over every little detail. Now that our kid is a vibrant teenager and we're nearing the end of the child-rearing roller coaster, my perspective is different. I now understand that much of that worry and stress over every little thing didn't really matter. The reality is that the average healthy baby is incredibly resilient.
While we were raising our kid, we had some neighbors raising a baby just a few months apart. While well-intended, their approach to parenting was haphazard and uneven compared to ours - basically the bare minimum of care and nurturing compared to our obsessively researched, peer-reviewed, best-practice focused, metric-driven maximum efforts. Today, both our kid and our neighbor's kid are doing equally great. The moral of the story is do what you feel is important but don't stress over every detail. In the end, the difference between "okay" parenting and "maximum effort" parenting probably doesn't matter all that much. Just relax and try to enjoy the journey.
The explanation is that the sensory input from their limbs flopping around stresses babies out because their brains can't integrate it all yet. Wrapping them up in a secure little bundle and rocking them gently can change things instantly. I learned it from this book (https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/0553393235) but you can also just search the "The Five S's" technique and get the general gist of it.
> especially in this bold, brazen world we are living in where there are so many unknowns.
We pulled out all the stops to make sure we were doing everything as perfectly as we could for our kid from reading the best books to taking classes and getting all the best tools. We worried over every little detail. Now that our kid is a vibrant teenager and we're nearing the end of the child-rearing roller coaster, my perspective is different. I now understand that much of that worry and stress over every little thing didn't really matter. The reality is that the average healthy baby is incredibly resilient.
While we were raising our kid, we had some neighbors raising a baby just a few months apart. While well-intended, their approach to parenting was haphazard and uneven compared to ours - basically the bare minimum of care and nurturing compared to our obsessively researched, peer-reviewed, best-practice focused, metric-driven maximum efforts. Today, both our kid and our neighbor's kid are doing equally great. The moral of the story is do what you feel is important but don't stress over every detail. In the end, the difference between "okay" parenting and "maximum effort" parenting probably doesn't matter all that much. Just relax and try to enjoy the journey.
The years will fly by faster than you think. Kids nowadays will be flooded with things our parents never had to worry about.
When young, your child may have medical scares. Find the best Hospital in your area and get your child seen by them. In the worst case scenario, you know where to go and they already have your info on file. In my part of America, a significant number of kids are allergic to nuts, gluten, and other things that no one else in their family was allergic to.
You should start worrying about their schooling as early as possible. Their school will influence where you decide to live and your free time. By that I mean their after school activities are your activities and you will zero time for anything else but work and your family.
Today’s dangers are unique. At least in the USA. I had to warn my child about predators on the internet. No webcam or microphone until he was 12. No mobile phone until he was 14. I drilled in him what fentanyl is. Drug dealers cheat by substituting fentanyl for other illegal drugs. If they get the dosage wrong. You can die like Prince. Even breathing in pure fentanyl can kill you. With the all the shootings, I drilled the Run Hide or Fight mantra.
When young, your child may have medical scares. Find the best Hospital in your area and get your child seen by them. In the worst case scenario, you know where to go and they already have your info on file. In my part of America, a significant number of kids are allergic to nuts, gluten, and other things that no one else in their family was allergic to.
You should start worrying about their schooling as early as possible. Their school will influence where you decide to live and your free time. By that I mean their after school activities are your activities and you will zero time for anything else but work and your family.
Today’s dangers are unique. At least in the USA. I had to warn my child about predators on the internet. No webcam or microphone until he was 12. No mobile phone until he was 14. I drilled in him what fentanyl is. Drug dealers cheat by substituting fentanyl for other illegal drugs. If they get the dosage wrong. You can die like Prince. Even breathing in pure fentanyl can kill you. With the all the shootings, I drilled the Run Hide or Fight mantra.
Take more pictures
Take off more time if possible, for as long as possible
Take time for yourself and allow your partner the same
In my experience, colic was almost always digestive related. Football hold with hand on belly seem to help.
The first few weeks, babies nap, eat, shit, repeat. If possible, nap when they nap. Makes the late night wake up calls a little easier.
Teach him or her how to properly use sissors. Its a life skill teachs restraint and paitence