An interesting article from Intellectual Takeout on how being "traditional" is the new "counter-culture". And I could not agree more.
I myself am black/African-American who grew up without a father because he died when I was about 3 years old. And I didn't know what was missing from my life not having a father there. But now, looking back, I can see the hole that was left. I see the struggle that my mother had to go through to raise a male child (one of six children) in that environment and keep me away from the negative forces that could easily have landed me in prison or in a grave. I still "made it" in the sense that I avoided becoming a statistic, but in retrospect, a two-parent household with a father there to teach, guide, and discipline would probably have changed my life for the better. I feel strongly that many of the issues in the various black communities around the country cannot be adequately addressed without reversing the trend of single-motherhood and absentee fathers.
In addition, the author's point about extended family also rings true to me. I never met any of my grandparents except for one grandmother who I met twice. But I remember distinctly the very first time she came to visit us, I had come home with a letter from school (elementary) saying that I had been acting up. She read the letter and, without hesitation, called me to her and talked to me seriously about how disappointed she was to hear that I had been acting that way. She was already probably 80 years old at the time and, again, I had never met her before. But I felt so ashamed to have made her feel that way. And there's nothing like a healthy dose of shame to make you reevaluate yourself and possibly come away with a clearer image of who you want to be. I would dearly have loved to have her in my life more than she was.
I myself am black/African-American who grew up without a father because he died when I was about 3 years old. And I didn't know what was missing from my life not having a father there. But now, looking back, I can see the hole that was left. I see the struggle that my mother had to go through to raise a male child (one of six children) in that environment and keep me away from the negative forces that could easily have landed me in prison or in a grave. I still "made it" in the sense that I avoided becoming a statistic, but in retrospect, a two-parent household with a father there to teach, guide, and discipline would probably have changed my life for the better. I feel strongly that many of the issues in the various black communities around the country cannot be adequately addressed without reversing the trend of single-motherhood and absentee fathers.
In addition, the author's point about extended family also rings true to me. I never met any of my grandparents except for one grandmother who I met twice. But I remember distinctly the very first time she came to visit us, I had come home with a letter from school (elementary) saying that I had been acting up. She read the letter and, without hesitation, called me to her and talked to me seriously about how disappointed she was to hear that I had been acting that way. She was already probably 80 years old at the time and, again, I had never met her before. But I felt so ashamed to have made her feel that way. And there's nothing like a healthy dose of shame to make you reevaluate yourself and possibly come away with a clearer image of who you want to be. I would dearly have loved to have her in my life more than she was.
The article made me think of these things.