The people hosting their own 'living funerals'(theguardian.com)
theguardian.com
The people hosting their own 'living funerals'
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/jan/28/i-didnt-realise-i-was-so-loved-five-people-stories-of-a-living-funeral
58 comments
Perhaps combined with the approach they take in Soylent Green in the Thanatorium!
That's absolutely dystopian.
Dystopian, literally by definition, is not allowing people to die.
I think people who are using "literally" as emphasis instead of really meaning "in a literal sense" are criticized too much. It's just how language evolves.
But saying "literally by definition" for something that has nothing to do with the definition doesn't feel like emphasis, it feels like lying.
But saying "literally by definition" for something that has nothing to do with the definition doesn't feel like emphasis, it feels like lying.
"relating to or denoting an imagined state or society where there is great suffering or injustice."
Sounds pretty literal to me. Not letting a suffering person die.
Sounds pretty literal to me. Not letting a suffering person die.
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You're catching a lot of flak here, but this seems to be the most beautiful and dignified way to go.
What better way to say goodbye to friends and family?
What better way to say goodbye to friends and family?
When my mother died, I really needed the funeral. It really helped with the grieving process.
I think my mother would have appreciated something like this when she had cancer. Sadly, she was in denial about her state of health and only admitted to herself that she was dying when she only had a week left.
But, these things don't have to be called "Living Funerals." We would have had a larger 50th anniversary party for my parents, (about a year after her diagnosis,) if we'd been a bit further out of Covid.
I think my mother would have appreciated something like this when she had cancer. Sadly, she was in denial about her state of health and only admitted to herself that she was dying when she only had a week left.
But, these things don't have to be called "Living Funerals." We would have had a larger 50th anniversary party for my parents, (about a year after her diagnosis,) if we'd been a bit further out of Covid.
These things were cartoon plots 15 years ago. We live in a truly cartoonish time.
I'm specifically reminded of Bender's 'living funeral' from Futurama. Who knows, maybe people got this idea in the first place by watching these shows.
Yeah that's what came to mind as well. I've now lived long enough to see what was once a caricature of outlandish selfishness becoming something people want to emulate.
My thesis advisor had a Festschrift conference at an odd-numbered age and when I attended I found he had a terminal diagnosis of brain cancer. It was great to bring together his students and colleagues to celebrate his life and work.
I attended a living wake several years ago. At first, I thought the idea was odd and morbid, but I actually enjoyed it quite a lot. Just a bunch of friends and family gathered to swap stories one last time. Really fun and positive atmosphere. It made the funeral (a few weeks later) much easier.
Good idea and should be normalized. Sometimes unexpected passings are in retrospect, not that unexpected. A colleague passed from routine surgery, at least colleague was very good at reassuring procedure was routine even though back of my mind suggested nature was anything but. Found out success rate was >90% but that was still a dice throw from failure and I kind of wanted colleague to throw a just in case final get together party but didn't know how to articulate that morbid thought into words during a stressful time. Anyway, colleague's passing left a lot of people shocked and took while to process especailly since the entire funeral had to be rushed.
Curb Your Enthusiasm did it like everyone else https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UC3qRL0KGzo
Wouldn't it be nice to hear all the lovely things friends and family might say about us at our funeral?
No, you weirdo Guardian journalists, it would not. Because I'm not dead. And when my funeral does happen, I may be the theme, but it will not really be about me. It'll be about the living getting together and comforting one another. Or about whatever they want. Because I'll be dead.
What kind of a maniacal ego maniac asks everyone close to them to all gather together and talk about how wonderful they are so they can watch?
No, you weirdo Guardian journalists, it would not. Because I'm not dead. And when my funeral does happen, I may be the theme, but it will not really be about me. It'll be about the living getting together and comforting one another. Or about whatever they want. Because I'll be dead.
What kind of a maniacal ego maniac asks everyone close to them to all gather together and talk about how wonderful they are so they can watch?
A random event someone organizes for themselves? Yeah, weird. But did you skip the part where this is for terminal ill people to gather family and say their goodbyes?
You wouldn't want to hear your friends share their favorite memories of you when you're on your deathbed?
Call it a celebration of life instead of a funeral
Call it a celebration of life instead of a funeral
Does everything need to be a celebration? Birthdays, weddings, baby showers, wedding-birthdays, stag do,... That's already plenty of opportunities for a narcissist to hear compliments from their friends in public.
You sound like you don't have any friends and that's sad.
You sound like I offended you. Are you a narcissist?
Nothing like a good ad hominem to try to make a point, eh?
Nothing like a good ad hominem to try to make a point, eh?
You French are so combative.
You sound bitter.
> What kind of a maniacal ego maniac asks everyone close to them to all gather together and talk about how wonderful they are so they can watch?
This, as currently worded, is a criticism of birthday parties as well
This, as currently worded, is a criticism of birthday parties as well
I've never been to a birthday party where the birthday boy/girl gathers people to do that. What's the point in subtracting value from a conversation with this distraction?
What's the point of judging the actions of people about to die?
Everyone is about to die, nothing special about it
That simply is not true. Terminal patients have a deadline, you have a nebulous time somewhere in the future.
If you knew for a fact you were gonna die tomorrow, would you still go into work?
If you knew for a fact you were gonna die tomorrow, would you still go into work?
You need to define judging? Do you mean "voicing an opinion"?
I don't know how I would handle a terminal diagnosis so I refrain from "voicing an opinion" on the actions of those about to die.
> What kind of a maniacal ego maniac asks everyone close to them to all gather together and talk about how wonderful they are so they can watch?
I don't know--this seems pretty consistent with our society's growing self-absorption and narcissism. A living funeral falls squarely within today's "I Am The Main Character" vibe.
I don't know--this seems pretty consistent with our society's growing self-absorption and narcissism. A living funeral falls squarely within today's "I Am The Main Character" vibe.
> within today's "I Am The Main Character" vibe.
That's a very western phenomenon, though. Maybe even very American...
That's a very western phenomenon, though. Maybe even very American...
What an awesome way to explore how we can cope with our mortality or imminent death.
On a side note, I wished award shows understood how important the "In Memorium" is to the viewers. It's our last chance to remember actors and performers we love and think about the times they passed through our life. It's also a free commercial for the industries back catalog. But every year it gets shorter and more insulting.
The Living Wake (2007) is an interesting but little-known movie with this plot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hTuqBKvVbw
"We must picture hell as a state where everyone is perpetually concerned about his own dignity and advancement, where everyone has a grievance, and where everyone lives with the deadly serious passions of envy, self-importance, and resentment." --"The Screwtape Letters"
You could have one every year for the rest of your life.
I am just to be sure right?
"" Oh Emelie has having another funeral. I get to write a new speech How fun. ""
"" Oh Emelie has having another funeral. I get to write a new speech How fun. ""
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What if this backfires and no-one turns up?
You can get a lot of this from milestone birthdays (40th, 70th, etc) and anniversaries (25th, 50th).
This trend of living “funerals” seems a symptom of a horribly messed up culture.
This trend of living “funerals” seems a symptom of a horribly messed up culture.
Can’t they just watch Harold and Maude?
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> I had a catheter and was on morphine, but I was determined to have a good time. At one point, I decided to go on the biggest slide. When I got to the bottom, there were about 70 people clapping for me. Somebody had shouted: “Rob’s going down the death slide!” and everyone came out to watch.
Nightmarish.
These people think they're so special for being terminally ill. Don't they know that happens to everyone? There's nothing more banal than getting cancer.
Nightmarish.
These people think they're so special for being terminally ill. Don't they know that happens to everyone? There's nothing more banal than getting cancer.
People can choose to celebrate life and death however they choose, among people whom care about them, and whom they care about, free of judgement from any random person on Hacker News.
Freedom means both things can happen. People can celebrate death and people can judge.
And I can write annoying comments like this one!
And I can write annoying comments like this one!
And I can make a snarky reply.
And my axe!
Oh wait, we're doing a different thing...
Oh wait, we're doing a different thing...
"Free of judgment" is silly. Opinions are not judgment.
If you do something publicly you have zero control of who judges you and for what.
Sure, but the realization that the judgement is entirely irrelevant and unneeded might make the judger give pause.
We're arguing in a comment thread for guardian journospam. Everything about this interaction is entirely irrelevant and unneeded.
Hurry up and die, Bob. Children want to use the slide!
You have the living funeral. You can even have the coffin and all of that.
Once it is over. The person has an induced complete metabolic failure. The person is quickly placed into the coffin. The procession for the burial can commence.
Give or take an hour it's pretty much the same as a real funeral.