If you want to use Haskell's statically typed functional programming, why would you use a dynamically typed scripting language? Do you even know what that sentence means? Do you realize that you would have to reinvent a whole typing system to go from dynamic to static, but going from static to dynamic is a trivial exercise? You might get better applicants if you have a tech-savvy member of your team write your advertisements. You are posting on HN, not reddit. Furthermore, how is JS a "wildwest concept?" The point of JS is to have a scripting language supported inside lots of larger programs like web browsers. It is ubiquitous.
Here I rewrote this for you:
Do you wish you were writing in a statically typed functional programming language a la Haskell, but are also satisfied wasting your time? If this resonates with you, please get in touch!