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headscientist

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Ask HN: How can I approach our CTO who seems checked out?

16 points·by headscientist·4 anni fa·40 comments

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headscientist
·4 anni fa·discuss
Thank you. Appreciate your thoughts.

> Sometimes the most important thing isn't absolute max productivity.

This is a really great point to keep in mind.
headscientist
·4 anni fa·discuss
> If a junior employee was to write up job descriptions for all of the roles on the org chart, what would the CTO's role and responsibilities be?

This is a fantastic question and good way to think about the issue. It may very well be that if I were to write down what I think he ought to be doing, that it would differ greatly from his own perception of what his role. But at least by identifying the divergence, we can work to rectify the situation.
headscientist
·4 anni fa·discuss
Writing it out beforehand and rehearsing seems like a great idea. So much easier to just end up using non-productive (or violent) communication if you don't rehearse a bit and make an effort to keep your communication and language very purposeful and conscious.
headscientist
·4 anni fa·discuss
Thank you! Was going to reply to your other comment because I saw that one first and I could not figure out what NVC referred to haha.
headscientist
·4 anni fa·discuss
This is a good point. You're right that it really does come down to getting from him the things that I think the team and I need in order to succeed. Sometimes, however, I worry that I'm not getting the point across if I dance around an issue or "soften" it up too much. I'm sure there's a middle ground though where I can get my point across while keeping the conversation practical, focused and constructive. I just need to give some more thought as to how to do that.
headscientist
·4 anni fa·discuss
In the kind of conversation you're proposing, do you think that, in addition to the very concrete asks I would have, there's a place to say something along the lines of "I just generally want to feel like you have our back, that you're fully present, that you're accountable, etc" or is that just too general and too close to coming across like a personal attack?

I could also reframe that as concrete requests like "It would help me if you gave us more of a heads up if you aren't going to be around", "It would help me if you made more of an effort to join meetings that we schedule where your input is needed", "It would help me and the team if you provided more regular updates on work that is in your hands so we can better plan work", etc
headscientist
·4 anni fa·discuss
I'm torn on this. It's possible he would be very receptive and appreciate the frank conversation. It's also possible he will wonder where I get the gall to suggest to him, in however a constructive or trying-to-help way, that maybe he doesn't actually want to be CTO anymore and should consider giving up his role. He's not the type to freak out on me or anything like that, but it could sour the good relationship we have.
headscientist
·4 anni fa·discuss
This is great feedback. Thank you.
headscientist
·4 anni fa·discuss
Oh and yes, I do think he's "trying" to recover in a sense. The thing I'm unsure about — and maybe he himself is unsure of — is whether that ship has sailed and he's either unable or unwilling or unmotivated to recover.
headscientist
·4 anni fa·discuss
Great question. If he were fulfilling what I view as his responsibilities, I would not necessarily feel it imperative to take over for him. If he were to leave — whether voluntarily or forced out — I would gladly take over the role. I'm qualified for it and I'd be the natural choice. Not sure if that answers your question. I generally have ambitions to continue to level up and that definitely involves being in the CTO spot somewhere, but I don't feel it has to be here and now. But if they wanted me to take over, I'd very excited to do so.

I think you're right in general though that I really do need to do some soul-searching to figure what I want.
headscientist
·4 anni fa·discuss
Thank you, this is very helpful! I like this approach
headscientist
·4 anni fa·discuss
That would be great. I'll send you an email later this evening. Thank you!
headscientist
·4 anni fa·discuss
That's the thing. It seems self-serving (and I guess it is), but I am handling an increasingly huge area of responsibility and working around the clock, while he seems only half-committed at best. At some point, this does just point to me being the CTO tbh.
headscientist
·4 anni fa·discuss
Right, I've thought this too. I mentioned in another reply that, on the one hand, I appreciate the CEO giving me some time/space to figure out how to approach this delicately. On the other hand, I feel he should be providing more support to me in this scenario. How exactly though is kind of a good question.
headscientist
·4 anni fa·discuss
Right. No, we don't. He messages me when he needs help with things since I'm holding a lot more in the hands-on stuff. One of the problems is that he tends to work in a silo whereas I prefer to act as just another engineer when I'm working on those types of tasks, which means providing updates to the team, tracking my progress openly, giving info in standups, etc.

I have a good relationship with the CTO, but it still feels a bit awkward for me to be telling him or even suggesting to him what to do, but maybe that's my own issue. Perhaps he'd love to hear from me things like "We could really use your help on X" or "It would be great if you did Y." Maybe he really doesn't know how/where he can be helpful.

I think you're right that more regular communication would help. He just hasn't been great about this. He provided no onboarding to me, didn't teach me anything and I basically had to pick up everything by myself. I'm a bit worried I'm up against a behavior that has become very entrenched or that he really just doesn't have the motivation he once did.
headscientist
·4 anni fa·discuss
I didn't flesh this out enough in the original post, but the CEO isn't actually dismissing it casually. He actually said this is really serious and said he thinks we should address transparently sooner than later. It's more that he's leaving it to me to figure out the right way to approach it. On the one hand, I appreciate him giving me some time/space to figure out how I'd like to approach it. On the other hand, I feel he's kind of shirking his responsibility and pitching it of to me.