I am from NYC, born and bred, so I may be a bit biassed. Nevertheless, I have been to SF a number of times over the last few years for various conferences. Each time I go people I meet there ask me why I haven't moved out yet to get into the tech scene in SF. Each time I tell them the same thing. SF is not fun and too involved in your life.
Now, coming from NYC, I understand a thing or two about big city living and big city government. Yet, I have never felt as disturbed by overbearing government as I have in SF. There are a number of examples that I wont go into but the overall feeling is that of an overbearing, authoritarian state that tries to force you into doing things the SF way. Not only does there seem to be more of this in California in general but in SF in particular.
It is not entirely simple to describe but I absolutely feel it every time I'm there. There is no doubt that were I to live there it would be even worse.