Am I the only one the tone in this article bothers? The author keeps criticizing and belittling the CEO, who is obviously significantly smarter than him. There might be correlation there.
I find it easy enough to be mindful in general, assuming we're talking about the same concept, but lately it's relationships that have troubled my flow, and more particularly the repeated occurrence of getting attached to and then losing someone. I'm learning to deal with it, though.
Keep it up Penny! I have only worked for one startup ever right after graduation, and when I think back of it, those 2 years were not only too good to be true, but they did happen. There are good leaders out there, keep having faith!
Does that make it harder for you to connect with people? I found it to be the case for me when I was a developer. It would sort of make me unable to identify with the majority of people, which would tend to make me not care to interact with them as deeply as I wanted to.
Having to leave my job let me spend more time with a variety of people (lots of baristas, many of them are super interesting) helped me significantly.
1. Learn to appreciate yourself, because self confidence (when not coming out as arrogant) is attractive
2. Make sure you have a list of hobbies/interests you can relate through
3. Most importantly, be actually curious about the person (a smile helps). Everyone has amazing things to talk about, just get the person you're with to get there and do not keep the conversation focused on yourself
4. Before you ask for coffee, make sure you've had a nice enough and mutually engaging conversation. It naturally yields a better approval rate.
5. Whatever happens next is just fun and it is whatever is meant to happen. (It follows that this New Yorker article is funny in the way it's not relevant to improve one's coffee invitations success) so just loosen up and enjoy. Meeting new people is great fuel for a balanced life. It won't always be perfect, but it will often be fun.
Note I'm a developer too, but I personally find a good balance between nice people and coding necessary to feel content and happy.