Ask HN: How do you add novelty to your days?
Not sure it's related to my ADD or not but it's been a while the whole cycle of [wake up, work, {gym/hobby}, cook, youtube, sleep, repeat] gives me a sense of mundaneness (except when I socialize). I feel like a prisoner in the repetition of life. How do you add surprise/novelty to your everyday life? (if you do)
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This quote from Finite and Infinite Games:
"To be playful is not to be trivial or frivolous, or to act as though nothing of consequence will happen. On the contrary, when we are playful with each other we relate as free persons, and the relationship is open to surprise; everything that happens is of consequence. It is, in fact, seriousness that closes itself to consequence, for seriousness is a dread of the unpredictable outcome of open possibility. To be serious is to press for a specified conclusion. To be playful is to allow for possibility whatever the cost to oneself."
Basically, be open to surprises and serendipity. There's lots of room for variation even in that routine. But you can also add things to the routine. Socialization is a major one; it's the 20% of "work" that brings in 80% of the wonderful things in life.
"To be playful is not to be trivial or frivolous, or to act as though nothing of consequence will happen. On the contrary, when we are playful with each other we relate as free persons, and the relationship is open to surprise; everything that happens is of consequence. It is, in fact, seriousness that closes itself to consequence, for seriousness is a dread of the unpredictable outcome of open possibility. To be serious is to press for a specified conclusion. To be playful is to allow for possibility whatever the cost to oneself."
Basically, be open to surprises and serendipity. There's lots of room for variation even in that routine. But you can also add things to the routine. Socialization is a major one; it's the 20% of "work" that brings in 80% of the wonderful things in life.
I feel I am open to surprises and appreciate it (Hence asking this question in the first place). The question is how to find more exposure to surprises.
Surprise would mean something like not planning too far ahead. What's keeping you from being a digital nomad? Is it work? Why not quit work?
Instead of the gym slot, you can drive to a random part of town and just walk in a random direction. One of my favorite moments were just exploring the part of town with destroyed buildings. There was a nice kebab place there too and they had the guest hospitality (Xenia) that's so rare to find in our lives.
The larger the variance, both good and bad, the more the opportunity for surprises. That's also why people go to bars - there's a lot of bad nights and a few surprising ones.
Instead of the gym slot, you can drive to a random part of town and just walk in a random direction. One of my favorite moments were just exploring the part of town with destroyed buildings. There was a nice kebab place there too and they had the guest hospitality (Xenia) that's so rare to find in our lives.
The larger the variance, both good and bad, the more the opportunity for surprises. That's also why people go to bars - there's a lot of bad nights and a few surprising ones.
Finite and Infinite Games by James P Carse is one of my favourite books of all time.
I took a class with Professor Carse in NYU circa 1990. It was definitely among my favorite classes in my entire college experience even though he insisted on holding it early in the morning and I was invariably hung over and tired.
It's really nice to see quotes from this book come up from time to time. Seems it's finally finding its audience decades after publication, which is gratifying. Great book; great thinker and lecturer.
Amusing(ish) anecdote: After college I worked as a live audio engineer and once did sound for his sons' band, name "Urban Blight." Sort of a funky, 90's NYC band. Nothing spectacular, but pretty good stuff.
It's really nice to see quotes from this book come up from time to time. Seems it's finally finding its audience decades after publication, which is gratifying. Great book; great thinker and lecturer.
Amusing(ish) anecdote: After college I worked as a live audio engineer and once did sound for his sons' band, name "Urban Blight." Sort of a funky, 90's NYC band. Nothing spectacular, but pretty good stuff.
Introduce just a little friction.
Philosophers have complained about the convenience of modernity for centuries, but it can be quite fun to live in a modern way via a slightly more wandering route. It's less about throwing away modern life and more about the challenge of embracing -only- the good bits.
Don't stream, take the time to choose a Blu-Ray or CD to buy. Use cash next time at a grocery store. Use a Palm Pilot or a Newton for your calendar and an Alphasmart for your writing. Write down directions off of Google/Bing/OSM and sketch a little map.
All of these paths interface fine with the modern world, but there's great interest and satisfaction in small extra effort. What's boring is infinite, all-you-can-eat mediocrity. Make it even 5% more challenging and you'll 1) enjoy the journey more and 2) find what you value because now you're pulling rather than receiving a push.
Philosophers have complained about the convenience of modernity for centuries, but it can be quite fun to live in a modern way via a slightly more wandering route. It's less about throwing away modern life and more about the challenge of embracing -only- the good bits.
Don't stream, take the time to choose a Blu-Ray or CD to buy. Use cash next time at a grocery store. Use a Palm Pilot or a Newton for your calendar and an Alphasmart for your writing. Write down directions off of Google/Bing/OSM and sketch a little map.
All of these paths interface fine with the modern world, but there's great interest and satisfaction in small extra effort. What's boring is infinite, all-you-can-eat mediocrity. Make it even 5% more challenging and you'll 1) enjoy the journey more and 2) find what you value because now you're pulling rather than receiving a push.
I pick one thing I can obsess over with the intention to drop it when I’m bored of it or when I’m done achieving my goal . Current obsession is getting to a 1000 elo rating in chess. I can see myself in the future probably trying to get my 3x3 Rubik’s cube solve to 30 seconds or less.
Previously it was to be able to do all the daily nyt sudokus for the day in under 30 minutes.
The next thing I do after chess and maybe the cube will probably be something to do with the guitar I’ve had lying around for years which I know how to play at a basic level. Or maybe how to use some free DAW.
The commonalities here are: that every one of these is cheap and easy to pick up. It’s easy to set some concrete goal. It doesn’t actually require a huge investment of time. It’s a niche that has a community around it that I can interact with.
The reason this works for me in creating novelty in my days is because
- I get to discover stories and people I never knew of. During the sudoku phase I got to know of the folks behind cracking the cryptic and the whole sudoku championships stuff
- I get a new hobby where I get to enjoy that feeling of rapid progression one can get at the early stage (after which you run into the wall of hard work which can eventually take you from competent to expert)
- I get to have lots of new stuff I can talk about with others. Most people who’ve done some form of sudoku don’t know of theories like X wing or hidden pairs. So when we have a conversation and I talk about my current obsession of sudoku, it leads to questions like “wait I thought the only thing that makes sudoku harder is how many numbers there are hidden”. I have friends who like to geek out on stuff though. So this is very personal to me.
Worth noting that this is something that worked for me. Just sharing this in case it helps someone else.
One more thing outside all of this where it’s more a long term and somewhat expensive thing is doing sports as a community. I bought a bicycle recently and am finding more and more communities that are passionate about cycling. Getting to know them and their stories on a Saturday morning ride creates a lot of novelty on its own.
Previously it was to be able to do all the daily nyt sudokus for the day in under 30 minutes.
The next thing I do after chess and maybe the cube will probably be something to do with the guitar I’ve had lying around for years which I know how to play at a basic level. Or maybe how to use some free DAW.
The commonalities here are: that every one of these is cheap and easy to pick up. It’s easy to set some concrete goal. It doesn’t actually require a huge investment of time. It’s a niche that has a community around it that I can interact with.
The reason this works for me in creating novelty in my days is because
- I get to discover stories and people I never knew of. During the sudoku phase I got to know of the folks behind cracking the cryptic and the whole sudoku championships stuff
- I get a new hobby where I get to enjoy that feeling of rapid progression one can get at the early stage (after which you run into the wall of hard work which can eventually take you from competent to expert)
- I get to have lots of new stuff I can talk about with others. Most people who’ve done some form of sudoku don’t know of theories like X wing or hidden pairs. So when we have a conversation and I talk about my current obsession of sudoku, it leads to questions like “wait I thought the only thing that makes sudoku harder is how many numbers there are hidden”. I have friends who like to geek out on stuff though. So this is very personal to me.
Worth noting that this is something that worked for me. Just sharing this in case it helps someone else.
One more thing outside all of this where it’s more a long term and somewhat expensive thing is doing sports as a community. I bought a bicycle recently and am finding more and more communities that are passionate about cycling. Getting to know them and their stories on a Saturday morning ride creates a lot of novelty on its own.
+1 to the above. the strangest thing about meditation, in my experience, is there's a state that's sometimes available in which every moment is truly novel and surprising.
I read (once, somewhere??) that some lifetime meditators put under FMRI often have the signature activation pattern that in the rest of us basically happens when we're about to say "Oh wow, look at that!" (i.e., excited by novelty) So I'm a little captivated by the idea that part of the nature of these states called "liberation" and "enlightenment" is an unending feeling of amused and interested novelty. In the literature they'll talk about "the freshness of every moment" and other similar phrases, so it seems to really be part of the sales pitch and goal.
For me it wears off pretty fast, and isn't always available. :) But definitely it's one of the things that keeps me coming back to the cushion, because ... yeah, you said it :)
I read (once, somewhere??) that some lifetime meditators put under FMRI often have the signature activation pattern that in the rest of us basically happens when we're about to say "Oh wow, look at that!" (i.e., excited by novelty) So I'm a little captivated by the idea that part of the nature of these states called "liberation" and "enlightenment" is an unending feeling of amused and interested novelty. In the literature they'll talk about "the freshness of every moment" and other similar phrases, so it seems to really be part of the sales pitch and goal.
For me it wears off pretty fast, and isn't always available. :) But definitely it's one of the things that keeps me coming back to the cushion, because ... yeah, you said it :)
IMO any sort of change will eventually become assimilated into The Loop.
The trick I think is to do things/hobbies/work in a way where you are always in the process becoming someone else vs incremental improvements on on an existing identity.
Even if the improvements compound exponentially, or the identity is something meta like "lifelong learner", the feeling of stagnating within a loop always sets in after a while.
However the willingness to become "someone else" means that the underlying value system of what is sacred/profane is never set in stone. Each experience of novelty becomes more than stimulation that the identity consumes but a possibility of seeing life in a new way.
The trick I think is to do things/hobbies/work in a way where you are always in the process becoming someone else vs incremental improvements on on an existing identity.
Even if the improvements compound exponentially, or the identity is something meta like "lifelong learner", the feeling of stagnating within a loop always sets in after a while.
However the willingness to become "someone else" means that the underlying value system of what is sacred/profane is never set in stone. Each experience of novelty becomes more than stimulation that the identity consumes but a possibility of seeing life in a new way.
This is more like notes to myself:
1. Expect mundanity. Paradoxically, expecting it to be mundane, makes it less so. In contrast, expecting it to be novel each time, is one reason why we experience it as mundane. We want to go from one high to the next. Of course it never lives up to our expectations.
2. Re-engage at a deeper level. After the beginner’s high with anything, invariably we hit a fork: one leads to cynicism while the other leads to new levels of engagement. Expecting this to happen helps navigate it.
3. Create meaning and purpose. If each step or activity is given a meaning and purpose then suddenly the mundane doesn’t seem to be so. The mistake is to look for inherent meaning. Most of the time there isn’t. We have to give it meaning however profound or banal the activity.
4. Engagement is often a decision rather than a natural reaction or response. Engaging with something more intensely often makes it interesting and vice versa.
5. Keats coined the term "negative capability" back in 1826. It's applicable now more than ever.
Not in the same context but I have written about these in the context of performance:
* On mastery and mundanity: [https://www.leadingsapiens.com/greatness-as-mastering-the-mu...] On cynicism and re-engagement: [https://www.leadingsapiens.com/naivete-in-leadership/] On approaching it as a decision: [https://www.leadingsapiens.com/leadership-and-creativity-as-...] * Keats and negative capability: https://www.leadingsapiens.com/developing-negative-capabilit...
1. Expect mundanity. Paradoxically, expecting it to be mundane, makes it less so. In contrast, expecting it to be novel each time, is one reason why we experience it as mundane. We want to go from one high to the next. Of course it never lives up to our expectations.
2. Re-engage at a deeper level. After the beginner’s high with anything, invariably we hit a fork: one leads to cynicism while the other leads to new levels of engagement. Expecting this to happen helps navigate it.
3. Create meaning and purpose. If each step or activity is given a meaning and purpose then suddenly the mundane doesn’t seem to be so. The mistake is to look for inherent meaning. Most of the time there isn’t. We have to give it meaning however profound or banal the activity.
4. Engagement is often a decision rather than a natural reaction or response. Engaging with something more intensely often makes it interesting and vice versa.
5. Keats coined the term "negative capability" back in 1826. It's applicable now more than ever.
Not in the same context but I have written about these in the context of performance:
* On mastery and mundanity: [https://www.leadingsapiens.com/greatness-as-mastering-the-mu...] On cynicism and re-engagement: [https://www.leadingsapiens.com/naivete-in-leadership/] On approaching it as a decision: [https://www.leadingsapiens.com/leadership-and-creativity-as-...] * Keats and negative capability: https://www.leadingsapiens.com/developing-negative-capabilit...
>How do you add novelty to your days?
I wear a different shirt.
>Expect mundanity.
So nothing wrong with the same shirt every Monday, or something like that.
>except when I socialize
That's what I do with the time I don't spend focusing on my wardrobe.
I wear a different shirt.
>Expect mundanity.
So nothing wrong with the same shirt every Monday, or something like that.
>except when I socialize
That's what I do with the time I don't spend focusing on my wardrobe.
I’ve had so many migraines in my life and months wasted in pain that “boring” is absolutely marvelous.
https://www.psypost.org/2021/05/a-single-dose-of-psilocybin-...
Not suggesting anything.
Not suggesting anything.
Try ubrelvy it’s a game changer for people affected. It’s like 120$ a pill without insurance though
Make a list of small new things to try: new restaurant, new beer/wine, new trail/park and then start doing them
https://www.intrepidtravel.com/us Pick a destination that you’re not familiar with and seem to enjoy the scenery of. Try to choose one of the tours that’s designed for younger people.
Spontaneous trips into nature. Doesn’t have to be long (20 minute hike/walk in a forest + any commute time involved twice a week is better than none)
If you live near any national forests (U.S.), they’re great for this. Something about being alone & surrounded by trees/greenery where you can’t see for endless miles feels more refreshing than other options.
New hobbies outside of your typical comfort zone/interests that force some sort of socialization & which you plan to never be anything more than a beginner/novice at are also good, mostly in the sense you’ll be exposed to others you’d probably never speak to in life. Variety is the spice of life they say.
If you live near any national forests (U.S.), they’re great for this. Something about being alone & surrounded by trees/greenery where you can’t see for endless miles feels more refreshing than other options.
New hobbies outside of your typical comfort zone/interests that force some sort of socialization & which you plan to never be anything more than a beginner/novice at are also good, mostly in the sense you’ll be exposed to others you’d probably never speak to in life. Variety is the spice of life they say.
Creating new things, e.g. electronics is a good outlet for when I need to feel productive and creative. A lot of the work I do day to day translates to the craft.
And then I get to pick how to enclose the project :) that's my favorite part since I get to trawl design magazines and blogs for cool ideas: https://www.designboom.com/ https://www.yankodesign.com/
Watching other people be creative helps too. In addition to the design blogs, Twitch has a lot of art streams that help unstick me.
And then I get to pick how to enclose the project :) that's my favorite part since I get to trawl design magazines and blogs for cool ideas: https://www.designboom.com/ https://www.yankodesign.com/
Watching other people be creative helps too. In addition to the design blogs, Twitch has a lot of art streams that help unstick me.
When you get old enough, not much is novel anymore. Depth is where it's at. All the same stuff but with a richer appreciation for the subtlety, nuance and variety in things that might all seem the same to the less experienced.
To me it's more about rethinking how I do things I already enjoy rather than discovering new activities that I might like. To give you some examples. I enjoy reading but I've realized that most of the books I read are politics/economics related so I've decided to pick up some fiction. It was like discovering reading all over again, very refreshing. I like playing video games (usually FPS, all by myself), however, recently I've started to play a few rounds of some couch co-op games with my SO. It's amazing. Most fun I've had in a long time.
Always changing. I am 25, so far I have lived in 4 different countries, have dabbed into different things (went to law school in my home country, learned a second (and third) language the hard way, have had 2 children with 2 different women, learned how to code on my own and now I am learning mathematics). The thing is that there are endless new things to try, so keep trying new things.
It is a little bit f**d up because I don't have any stability, but I do have a constant source of novelty.
It is a little bit f**d up because I don't have any stability, but I do have a constant source of novelty.
As a fellow 25 year old that doesn’t think I’m boring whatsoever… I really hope your comment becomes the top comment of discussion on this thread.
I don’t mean to directly insult, but I recoiled while reading your comment, and that was before I got to:
> have had 2 children with 2 different women
Of course, you are aware of this:
> It is a little bit f*d up
But are you aware these children will grow up without fathers close to their lives (presumably). Of all the things to contribute to a thread about adding more pizazz to one’s day, this testimony of yours has blown my mind.
I don’t mean to directly insult, but I recoiled while reading your comment, and that was before I got to:
> have had 2 children with 2 different women
Of course, you are aware of this:
> It is a little bit f*d up
But are you aware these children will grow up without fathers close to their lives (presumably). Of all the things to contribute to a thread about adding more pizazz to one’s day, this testimony of yours has blown my mind.
They are just explaining how their life as novelty. I didn't read it as a direct recommendation.
Actually is more a recommendation of not pursuing novelty for the sake of having novelty in life.
Learning how to tolerate boredom is positive and healthy and leads to better outcomes.
Learning how to tolerate boredom is positive and healthy and leads to better outcomes.
My wife and I felt this. Started doing "wildcard Wednesdays" where we'd do something funky/offbeat/random on Wednesday nights when we lived in NYC. It was a blast and we still look back fondly upon them, but have kids now so it's a little tougher to do spontaneous fun things. Having kids sort of takes away this feeling though not entirely.
As a counterpoint, I'd say that my kids have brought a return novelty for a lot of things. Doing stuff with them that I've done before but they haven't is completely new again for me, too.
edit: to be clear, though, I'm not suggesting OP has kids to bring excitement back to life ;)
edit: to be clear, though, I'm not suggesting OP has kids to bring excitement back to life ;)
Yeah I totally agree - I wasn't clear originally. What I meant by "kids takes this feeling away" was the monotony OP experienced. My favorite time of the day is between 6pm when I stop working for a bit, and our daughter's 7:30 bedtime. Still, it's the same routine day to day, even if she has made it a much better routine :)
The actual activities involved in gardening or homesteading-related hobbies change on a nearly weekly basis. It's maple sugaring season now. After that it will be time to look for deer antler sheds. A few weeks after that it will be time to forage for water cress and wild parsnips.
During the pandemic, I started taking drives and walks and drives to take walks, often to mundane places. Three years later, the novelty has worn off so I take multi-day drives. So I learned it's important for me to get out often, in whatever way I can.
It's banal to suggest it, but reading, reading a lot of different types of novels and non-fiction (and poetry!). I also recommend physically going to the library to access them and explore the stacks and recommendations and other offerings.
+1. Also writing. WRT reading: I think the trick is that being absorbed in something mitigates boredom and existential ennui. And for me, the effect is most pronounced when I read something difficult, i.e. encyclopedic novels (Gravity’s Rainbow, Ulysses, Mrs Dalloway) or difficult philosophical books (Gödel, Escher, Bach or Being And Time).
Become a digital nomad and move around every couple of weeks.
I'd say you're asking this at just the right time, because Better Ideas just posted a video[1] about this exact topic. His advice isn't revolutionary, but it's actionable, and I generally really enjoy what he has to say. I hope you'll find it helpful too!
[1]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoDiqFyavdA
[1]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoDiqFyavdA
Set some expectation here. This is a vaccuous post that says nothing about what to expect. Provide some actual idea about what this content might be.
I dig through the trash, dumpsters, pick up litter, and walk through nature.
well, the world is by definition mundane. travel bores me. the excitement i have found in it is starting new projects (not neccesarily computer-based) and particularly new emotional relationships.
Children are pretty unpredictable. I really dig the work though.
I live in NYC.
play fortnite builds!
not only will the novelty of evolving play styles surprise you, it will box you like fish.
not only will the novelty of evolving play styles surprise you, it will box you like fish.