The danger of using "Hide My Email" with third-party Stripe handoffs
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*Update for posterity:*
I want to add that BuyMeACoffee support just reached out as well, and I’m very appreciative of their response.
They acknowledged the edge case, passed the feedback onto their engineering/product team for review, and offered a solid fallback solution: if Stripe's process gets stuck, BMAC can manually disconnect the current Stripe account on their end so I can just reconnect a new one with a proper email address.
Current state of things: 1. Stripe reached out, arranged a call, and verified my identity over a recorded line. They are working on resolving it on their end (estimated 72 hours). Thanks to Paul & his team! 2. BuyMeACoffee has my back with a manual reset if the Stripe route fails.
It's been a frustrating edge case to fall into, but it’s great to see the support teams at both Stripe and BuyMeACoffee stepping up to untangle it.
I want to add that BuyMeACoffee support just reached out as well, and I’m very appreciative of their response.
They acknowledged the edge case, passed the feedback onto their engineering/product team for review, and offered a solid fallback solution: if Stripe's process gets stuck, BMAC can manually disconnect the current Stripe account on their end so I can just reconnect a new one with a proper email address.
Current state of things: 1. Stripe reached out, arranged a call, and verified my identity over a recorded line. They are working on resolving it on their end (estimated 72 hours). Thanks to Paul & his team! 2. BuyMeACoffee has my back with a manual reset if the Stripe route fails.
It's been a frustrating edge case to fall into, but it’s great to see the support teams at both Stripe and BuyMeACoffee stepping up to untangle it.
Final update: And so it's done - fixed. Thanks to everyone involved. I can't imagine now many people were in involved in fixing this... ;-)
"Hide my email" had indeed caused some drama in this case.
Many thanks to everyone involved at Stripe & BuyMeACoffee!
"Hide my email" had indeed caused some drama in this case.
Many thanks to everyone involved at Stripe & BuyMeACoffee!
[deleted]
Just FYI - Stripe reached out to arrange a call to fix the issue. Thanks to Paul & his team!
Here is how the systems fail when combined:
1. I signed up for BuyMeACoffee using "Sign in with Apple" and chose to hide my email. Apple created a `@privaterelay.appleid.com` address.
2. BuyMeACoffee initiated a Stripe Express onboarding flow and passed that Private Relay email to Stripe as my primary contact.
3. Stripe requires email verification to process payouts, so they sent a verification link.
4. According to Apple's docs, Private Relay addresses only accept emails from the original developer (BuyMeACoffee). Apple silently drops the email from Stripe.
5. Because Apple doesn't bounce the email, Stripe assumes it was delivered and refuses to let you proceed until you click the link.
I am currently stuck in Stripe support hell because of this. Even though I have completed full KYC with Stripe (passport, mobile number) and phone support can verify my identity using my bank account details, they tell me they cannot change the primary email address. Their only solution so far was to tell me to contact Apple, however the ticket is still open (sco_UE0HAGOMIeJEkf if anyone from Stripe is reading).
I stumbled into this setting up a donation link for a passion project of mine (ClassicVideoPoker.com). It’s an incredibly frustrating edge case, but fundamentally, BuyMeACoffee probably shouldn't pass relay addresses to third-party payment processors, and Stripe shouldn't treat non-bouncing emails as an absolute proof of delivery when full KYC is already provided.
Posting this as a warning so others don’t follow in my footsteps, and on the off chance someone from Stripe or BMAC is paying attention.