I've been wanting for a while to share my experience of loneliness and how I overcame it 7 years ago during my PhD in the hopes that people who find themselves stuck in a similar situation find solace and encouragement.
In summary, the following 3 factors helped me overcome loneliness:
1. Support from my family.
2. Commitment from my romantic partner.
3. Becoming unstuck from my career obstacles.
Having friends around was fun in the moment and arguably gave me some of the most amazing memories in my lifetime. However, in the moments of despair, friends without commitment weren’t able to provide me with the refuge and support that I needed to trudge through the trenches and make it to the finish line.
They say “no man is an island.” We form mini continents with people we are committed to. Non-committal relationships, on the other hand, are like cruise ships—docking at the island briefly, then sailing away whenever they please. But, man, aren’t those ships fun to have around—they can turn a mere island into a paradise.
I think that is fair if the expectation is such that you contribute interesting ideas, like in a forum.
However, when it is one on one communication, many times people are looking for emotional connection rather than simple exchange of ideas. I think that is when ghosting really stings.
Our reliance on online interactions is responsible for the increase in the tendency to ghost.
That is a big problem because that means more proportion of people's attempts to connect with others as a whole end up in straight up neglect which can be detrimental to not only one's ego, but also one's social development.
I think this contributes significantly to the loneliness epidemic, and ultimately people need more in-person interactions to overcome this.
Definitely should be a balance between individualism and collectivism. Covid drove us all the way to one extreme, and now some people seem to crave the opposite.
But it is also interesting to see that there seems to be a wide spectrum in office cultures post Covid. Some jobs still feel like they are in the thick of it, while others are back to 5 days (or even more if you work for one of Elon's companies)
"If I told you, 'I went into my backyard, I made this pill. It's amazing. It's free. If you take it, it'll actually improve your health, make you feel better, improve your performance at work, improve your grades, boost your immunity,' you'd be like, 'Sign me up. I'll take that tomorrow.'" It turns out that's what social connection is. Just a little connection can go a long way in keeping us healthy.
In summary, the following 3 factors helped me overcome loneliness:
1. Support from my family. 2. Commitment from my romantic partner. 3. Becoming unstuck from my career obstacles.
Having friends around was fun in the moment and arguably gave me some of the most amazing memories in my lifetime. However, in the moments of despair, friends without commitment weren’t able to provide me with the refuge and support that I needed to trudge through the trenches and make it to the finish line.
They say “no man is an island.” We form mini continents with people we are committed to. Non-committal relationships, on the other hand, are like cruise ships—docking at the island briefly, then sailing away whenever they please. But, man, aren’t those ships fun to have around—they can turn a mere island into a paradise.