Nice comparison. When I was living in China, I'd encounter someone who forgot how to write the characters for a word on a weekly basis. I think the difference is that with Latin alphabets you can still misspell something, and having gotten it down on paper, still rely on phonetics to convey your meaning.
TL;DR: she thought kids would like grown-up stuff but was wrong.
"Giving my kids unadulterated fun allowed me to relax, at least as much as I could as a mom of three young ones.
I'm not the type of parent who wants to spend all my time off at an indoor water park with dozens of other screaming families, but I'm learning that we need to have age-appropriate fun. And that looks different from what I'd imagined (or what I saw on social media)."
Many people can't mentally context switch for game and aren't prepared for the behavior that is required of the game from those that can. It's an assault on their world view.
For a small but complicated project I got thrown into a while ago, the only way for me to understand it was to print out all the source directly, vertically tape together the pages for a single file, and then lay them all out on a huge table. Then I took multicolored markers and started physically drawing out the call chains. I then I sers-toi the system, and also found an enraging bug: the system widely used the variables "blah_name" and "blah_id", including in many functions' parameters. Except, in one case, blah_id was passed in as blah_name and thenceforth became known as blah_name.
I don't know if an automated visualization system is possible, but you'll have to understand the whole thing before doing so. Pen and paper was the most expedient solution for me at the time.
Beyond her own professional search, I'd suggest you making more time to be with the kids and handle household crap that she might be dealing with. Take things off her plate so she can recover from her previous situation and reflect and act on her future path. In my experience, this will be hard for you because you'll necessarily do less at work and have less time to improve yourself professionally and personally outside of work, but the payoff in stress reduction for your wife should be worth it in short- and medium-terms until she gets re-settled.
Background: Software engineer for over 15 years; twin 3 year-olds at home; wife is a teacher.
+1 on the health. At this point, you probably have a lot of time on your hands. Use some of that to learn how to be healthy. Exercise, food, cooking, etc.. are all deep rabbit holes to explore, so develop your baseline of knowledge and habits now so that you can fall back on them when life inevitably takes you away from them.