I think that would set a terrible precedent that your tax obligation is equal to your legal team costs to drown the government in paperwork or actual tax liability, which ever is lower.
The military has some funding for roads and bridges in places like Iraq and Afghanistan, but the heavy lifting is done by the Department of State. Most of the budget is on personnel and equipment.
My father was born in China in 1940 and he refuses to eat raw food like sushi. He isn't particularly hygenic when it comes to food preparation (defrosts meat in the sink, flies are not a huge concern) but cooks everything well done.
I agree with you that there's a feeling of alienation from society. From my own experience, I felt a growing sense of isolation from the people that were closest to me.
I feel that many coming out of the military are put at a disadvantage compared to their civilian counterparts. Coming home from deployment, I'd lost touch with many of my friends, had broken up with my long term girlfriend, and had scarce job opportunities. The military has made some efforts to better help reintegrate with the civilian world, but they all fall short because they have no particular expertise or influence on what happens outside of service. They can't help you much with finding a job or mending your relationships other than impersonal job assistance programs or a couple MWR trips with your family. I eventually found some success but my military service and its side effects were a hole that I had to dig myself out of with the help of my friends and family.
I think that successful reintegration requires a strong support network. I'm fortunate to have strong family connections and a few friends that were there for me. I still reach out to some of those I served with to have coffee and just chat about life, though I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't been as good about it as the years have gone by. Good on you for continuing to reach out to your battle buddies -- I'm sure you're making a positive impact in each of their lives.
Military recruiters will at times over-promise, but not about bonuses. Those are generally guaranteed once they pass their minimum schooling requirements.