Ask HN: How do you deal with having “too many” hobbies?
21 comments
It sounds like you're worried that you aren't accomplishing things because you aren't finishing them. But really, I'm sure you're learning a lot while doing them, and that's accomplishment too. Many times when I do a project, I'm learning the most at the beginning, and the later stages are more fine details (that take a lot more time to get right, such as "productionizing" it).
Feel free to stop working on things when you don't want to work on them anymore. At the very least, you have a lot of interesting things to talk about, and maybe even share your experience with other people (blogs, github).
If you have diagrams or code, I'd suggest releasing them, even unfinished, because maybe someone else will want to pick it up, or just look over it. Even that can be a win, and make you feel productive / accomplished.
Don't force yourself to do something that you aren't interested in anymore - maybe you've already accomplished what you were hoping for! Maybe you'll find something that you just can't put down - even then you might not feel accomplished because it's not your career. Even if it is your career, there's generally always someone who's better at it, and more you can learn.
Feel free to stop working on things when you don't want to work on them anymore. At the very least, you have a lot of interesting things to talk about, and maybe even share your experience with other people (blogs, github).
If you have diagrams or code, I'd suggest releasing them, even unfinished, because maybe someone else will want to pick it up, or just look over it. Even that can be a win, and make you feel productive / accomplished.
Don't force yourself to do something that you aren't interested in anymore - maybe you've already accomplished what you were hoping for! Maybe you'll find something that you just can't put down - even then you might not feel accomplished because it's not your career. Even if it is your career, there's generally always someone who's better at it, and more you can learn.
thanks for this logical take on moving on and not holding it against yourself.
i have often said that sometimes it's just better to go with the grain of life & interests. you can't manufacture enthusiasm for a topic, and if your enthusiasm lies in another topic or interest it is often best to pursue that. if only to let that run it's course so you're focused on what you actually want to focus on rather that that being an initial latency hit in all your thoughts that you have to proxy back to the topic you're supposed to be focused on.
although, sometimes you have to push yourself to focus on lower self-prioritized topics because of that whole paycheck thing.
i have often said that sometimes it's just better to go with the grain of life & interests. you can't manufacture enthusiasm for a topic, and if your enthusiasm lies in another topic or interest it is often best to pursue that. if only to let that run it's course so you're focused on what you actually want to focus on rather that that being an initial latency hit in all your thoughts that you have to proxy back to the topic you're supposed to be focused on.
although, sometimes you have to push yourself to focus on lower self-prioritized topics because of that whole paycheck thing.
There's a balance to be struck.
Not finishing things, or getting deep into a subject, can be frustrating. A hobby can be a source of novelty, but often what we seek is a degree of mastery or depth of study.
I think the real problem is when you get to a point of real challenge in something, and then abandon it. There's a lot of value and learning that comes from confronting difficult problems. I think that this frustration is often what is at issue in questions like this.
On the other hand, these are hobbies, and you should have some freedom to abandon and take them up again at your leisure. Otherwise it can simply be work or drudgery.
Some tips:
* Do sometimes commit to reaching a checkpoint. Something tangible and satisfying once complete. These should be chosen carefully, however, as something too ambitious can turn unpleasant and overwhelming. A first woodworking project should be something like a cutting board, not an armoire, for instance.
* Also allow yourself to play and experiment without focus on the final product. Be critical of what actually warrants discipline.
* Recognize when you're simply looking for novelty or the attraction of new 'stuff'. If you have the means and don't mind having lots of unused stuff around, then it's not such an issue, but I think most people find this sort of 'hobby detritus' to be unpleasant. The simple thing to do is to put off purchases or research until later; if you lose interest so easily, it's not worth pursing.
* Focus on one habit at a time. If regular practice is required, have some humility about how great a commitment this can be.
Not finishing things, or getting deep into a subject, can be frustrating. A hobby can be a source of novelty, but often what we seek is a degree of mastery or depth of study.
I think the real problem is when you get to a point of real challenge in something, and then abandon it. There's a lot of value and learning that comes from confronting difficult problems. I think that this frustration is often what is at issue in questions like this.
On the other hand, these are hobbies, and you should have some freedom to abandon and take them up again at your leisure. Otherwise it can simply be work or drudgery.
Some tips:
* Do sometimes commit to reaching a checkpoint. Something tangible and satisfying once complete. These should be chosen carefully, however, as something too ambitious can turn unpleasant and overwhelming. A first woodworking project should be something like a cutting board, not an armoire, for instance.
* Also allow yourself to play and experiment without focus on the final product. Be critical of what actually warrants discipline.
* Recognize when you're simply looking for novelty or the attraction of new 'stuff'. If you have the means and don't mind having lots of unused stuff around, then it's not such an issue, but I think most people find this sort of 'hobby detritus' to be unpleasant. The simple thing to do is to put off purchases or research until later; if you lose interest so easily, it's not worth pursing.
* Focus on one habit at a time. If regular practice is required, have some humility about how great a commitment this can be.
Excellent points. I utilize checkpoints and minimum waiting periods to good effect. Often together. I'll tell myself that if I am still interested in buying X after I finish Y then I will do it.
One thing to consider is whether you are making a habit of telling others about your brand new hobby. Is there a concern that you start up new projects/hobbies, let others know that you're working on them (thus receiving praise), and then feeling like you are beholden to continuing the project?
This may or may not be the case, but if it is, I recommend not telling anyone about a new project/hobby until you've reached a stage where what you have is praiseworthy as an accomplishment.
This may or may not be the case, but if it is, I recommend not telling anyone about a new project/hobby until you've reached a stage where what you have is praiseworthy as an accomplishment.
One thing I've come to terms with is that there's no "finishing" my hobbies. How would you quantify finishing something like drawing? I'm always reminded of the Geoffrey Chaucer quote[0]:
The lyf so short, the craft so longe to lerne.
I like to create small chunks that have a clear stopping point and a neatly defined goal. For writing, it may be the process of creating a blog post. For drawing, it could be a 20 minute sketch of a tree. For guitar playing, I wouldn't count noodling, but I would count learning a new song all the way through. Breaking it up into these chunks makes it more manageable, and each one is a small, enjoyable step forward.
The other question is which one to choose. Each hobby is a craft you could spend a lifetime mastering! I don't worry about this as much these days, and I'll do whatever I feel like on any given day. If I want to focus on one section (say I want to stick to a regular writing schedule to get better at writing), I can set a clear goal for one of the chunks and work my way through it. If I worry too much about fitting everything in, say by giving myself a quota like do these five tasks daily, I've found that it quickly becomes a chore I try to avoid, not something I look forward to. Worrying about moving everything forward means I barely move at all. Letting that go, I can move one forward at a time as I please, which I've found makes for much more enjoyable progress across the board over time.
[0] https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Geoffrey_Chaucer
The lyf so short, the craft so longe to lerne.
I like to create small chunks that have a clear stopping point and a neatly defined goal. For writing, it may be the process of creating a blog post. For drawing, it could be a 20 minute sketch of a tree. For guitar playing, I wouldn't count noodling, but I would count learning a new song all the way through. Breaking it up into these chunks makes it more manageable, and each one is a small, enjoyable step forward.
The other question is which one to choose. Each hobby is a craft you could spend a lifetime mastering! I don't worry about this as much these days, and I'll do whatever I feel like on any given day. If I want to focus on one section (say I want to stick to a regular writing schedule to get better at writing), I can set a clear goal for one of the chunks and work my way through it. If I worry too much about fitting everything in, say by giving myself a quota like do these five tasks daily, I've found that it quickly becomes a chore I try to avoid, not something I look forward to. Worrying about moving everything forward means I barely move at all. Letting that go, I can move one forward at a time as I please, which I've found makes for much more enjoyable progress across the board over time.
[0] https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Geoffrey_Chaucer
I have (and have had for many years) the same trouble. I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I think I've learned (so far):
1. I am incredibly curious, by nature. I want to learn everything. I accept that it is NOT possible to learn everything I want to.
2. I can be more disciplined. I can say no to projects. I can't be good at everything. Saying no can be (surprisingly) fulfilling. I can be more dedicated than comes naturally, but it takes extra willpower. The payoff is worth it.
3. Projects involving other people are more fun, and therefore more successful and more engrossing.
4. What I really want is to accomplish something meaningful.
5. There are patterns in my projects, in my interests. They feed on each other.
6. It's ok to treat a project as a learning experience, and then move on.
7. A project that I'm serious about will take at least 5 years.
1. I am incredibly curious, by nature. I want to learn everything. I accept that it is NOT possible to learn everything I want to.
2. I can be more disciplined. I can say no to projects. I can't be good at everything. Saying no can be (surprisingly) fulfilling. I can be more dedicated than comes naturally, but it takes extra willpower. The payoff is worth it.
3. Projects involving other people are more fun, and therefore more successful and more engrossing.
4. What I really want is to accomplish something meaningful.
5. There are patterns in my projects, in my interests. They feed on each other.
6. It's ok to treat a project as a learning experience, and then move on.
7. A project that I'm serious about will take at least 5 years.
All good points. I would also comment that hobbies can be seasonal. My musical / coding hobbies tend to get more attention during the winter months when the weather is not so good. In the summer outdoor activities like gardening take more of my time.
I think it's perfectly fine to have some of the hobbies that are completely pointless with no end goal/product, but:
Some of them I'm sure you have bigger dreams with. For those 1 or 2, make your end goal/product happen, even if it sucks. And then do it again. For your music production that would be putting together 5 of the songs you are playing around with in to an LP in a folder and naming it. And perhaps the next one will be of guitar songs, and all in a key you came to be comfortable while learning. These are things noone can take away from you and you will feel productive, while learning/enjoying the hobby. Compete in a small archery tournament or create your own even if you're the only one that competes.
Some of them I'm sure you have bigger dreams with. For those 1 or 2, make your end goal/product happen, even if it sucks. And then do it again. For your music production that would be putting together 5 of the songs you are playing around with in to an LP in a folder and naming it. And perhaps the next one will be of guitar songs, and all in a key you came to be comfortable while learning. These are things noone can take away from you and you will feel productive, while learning/enjoying the hobby. Compete in a small archery tournament or create your own even if you're the only one that competes.
I had this same problem. Too many interests, not enough time in the day!
So I pruned. I actually made a list, and prioritized. There were a few things on there that, after years of diddling around, I'm just no good at. There were a few things that were just too expensive or time consuming.
Now I limit myself to 2-3 things, and I actually make progress on those. It's kind of freeing to admit that you enjoy something, but that it's just not a priority.
So I pruned. I actually made a list, and prioritized. There were a few things on there that, after years of diddling around, I'm just no good at. There were a few things that were just too expensive or time consuming.
Now I limit myself to 2-3 things, and I actually make progress on those. It's kind of freeing to admit that you enjoy something, but that it's just not a priority.
I have the same problem and I took the same approach: if I'm not immediately good at whatever I was doing, I'm over it. If I need to buy special tools to do the hobby, I buy quality but beginner's tools, and if I'm good at it and outgrow the tool, I have no issues buying a new better one. If I'm not good at it, I didn't waste too much money on professional equipment I'm never going to use.
At first it was hard to admit I'm not good at something and for years I spun my wheels trying to get good. Now I give it a reasonable amount of time and if it hasn't gotten easier, I'm done. There are enough things I am good at and that do come easily, there's no sense in spending time doing something that I don't really want to do.
Also since it's a hobby, I don't make promises to anyone about finished products. I'll show it off when it's done, but in-progress stuff is just for me. That way there's no shame in failure, since no one even knew you were trying.
At first it was hard to admit I'm not good at something and for years I spun my wheels trying to get good. Now I give it a reasonable amount of time and if it hasn't gotten easier, I'm done. There are enough things I am good at and that do come easily, there's no sense in spending time doing something that I don't really want to do.
Also since it's a hobby, I don't make promises to anyone about finished products. I'll show it off when it's done, but in-progress stuff is just for me. That way there's no shame in failure, since no one even knew you were trying.
In three steps:
1. Pick activities and goals that are coherent with your personality as you understand it. You might have a vague idea of this but the better you articulate it, the more you'll accomplish.
2. Find new methods of feedback that inform you of progress. Having a teacher or mentor to ask is the classic way of "getting up to speed" but after that you have to become more creative and look for specific phenomena that you could optimize for. Completions, revenue and similar large-scale metrics tend not to give you enough to go on in the moment.
3. Look for techniques that you find painless and give you maximal leverage towards your goals. The bulk of a project is application of technique, but the design of it involves figuring out which technique to use when. If the goal is "learn the technique" many kinds of projects will do. But using a technique for creative effect is a matter of finding the time and place for it, the same as it would be for a fighting technique.
1. Pick activities and goals that are coherent with your personality as you understand it. You might have a vague idea of this but the better you articulate it, the more you'll accomplish.
2. Find new methods of feedback that inform you of progress. Having a teacher or mentor to ask is the classic way of "getting up to speed" but after that you have to become more creative and look for specific phenomena that you could optimize for. Completions, revenue and similar large-scale metrics tend not to give you enough to go on in the moment.
3. Look for techniques that you find painless and give you maximal leverage towards your goals. The bulk of a project is application of technique, but the design of it involves figuring out which technique to use when. If the goal is "learn the technique" many kinds of projects will do. But using a technique for creative effect is a matter of finding the time and place for it, the same as it would be for a fighting technique.
Accept that your hobbies are about enjoying yourself and learning new things. That's why it's called "hobbies" and not "work". Trying to make every single hour you are awake "productive" and "optimised" to achieve "goals" is a mentally unhealthy thing to do. Your brain needs time to just be happy and relax without stressing out about an end goal. Also (by the way) you and everybody you know and everybody reading this and everybody on the planet will die one day. So don't worry about it. Relax. Enjoy the ride.
Do you want to actually accomplish something or do you want to feel like you’re actually accomplishing something?
It’s more fun to start things than stick with them. When you’re new to something you make bigger jumps in improvement with less effort. But going from intermediate to expert takes much more work for far smaller return.
If you’d rather feel like you’re making progress, keep doing new things and get OK at them. If you want to actually make progress, pick something and actually stick with it, especially when it feels hard and pointless.
It’s more fun to start things than stick with them. When you’re new to something you make bigger jumps in improvement with less effort. But going from intermediate to expert takes much more work for far smaller return.
If you’d rather feel like you’re making progress, keep doing new things and get OK at them. If you want to actually make progress, pick something and actually stick with it, especially when it feels hard and pointless.
For me, once I was able to find a project I was able to make a small amount of money off of, it started the spark for doing tons of other projects. Only now the projects tend to contribute to the original project usually by enhancements in efficiency.
Some of my other hobbies have taken a back seat, but being able to tie in soldering projects with woodworking and website building all while being able to fund it through some other means than my day job is pretty glorious. It also makes it easier to put a value on things.
Some of my other hobbies have taken a back seat, but being able to tie in soldering projects with woodworking and website building all while being able to fund it through some other means than my day job is pretty glorious. It also makes it easier to put a value on things.
I struggle with this sometimes as well. I do a "purge" about every 6 months and ditch anything I'm not fully committed to or making progress on and ensure I'm focusing on longer-term goals. It's hard at first, but feels good after you see yourself making better progress on fewer things. That's my 2¢
imho, there's nothing wrong with having side projects to learn and improve without being forced to "finish" them.
totally agree - the experience, knowledge and growth that comes with the "hobbies" should be a fair amount of reward as is; however, if you are trying to "product-ize" one of your "hobbies" then that is something totally different - you need laser focus for that to "complete" one of these...
I:
1. Got married.
2. Bought a house.
3. Had kids.
Problem solved.
1. Got married.
2. Bought a house.
3. Had kids.
Problem solved.
One way is to list your hobbies and rate the frequency you’ve spentntime with each. You’ll quickly find you spend more time with one or two. Which then you could focus on.
- Bartending Robot - 6 DOF Robotic Arm - Custom Wifi controlled Lighting - Foldable 1 Person Boat - Home Server - Custom Ergonomic Keyboard - Basic FPGA modules - RNN Chatbot
In addition I enjoy doing the following and have the equipment for it:
- Learning Guitar - DJ Mixing (just for myself, not paid) - Producing songs / Music Theory (FL Studio) - Archery
That feels like a lot to me, and although some are things that have no "finish" date, some definitely do and i have trouble finishing them because i am distracted by my other hobbies and always seem to be picking new stuff up. As a result i feel like i never make a ton of headway into any one thing.
Is there any advice you have for how to manage this so that I can feel like i'm actually accomplishing something