Does anyone else want good conversations – not another relationship to maintain?
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I will tell you a secret, and you can take from it what you will.
You’re obviously doing something well, you’re successful in your own way and now you’re looking around you, sure.
Yet actually you are the problem. You are under developed socially. Look to those around you in a new light. Even the regular strangers. Whatever psycho-emotional filter you have by now devised for them are like a pair of shades.
Remove those shades (deep breath or something). Seeing the person as if for the first time, roll with whatever (positive) comes to mind.
Get better at spontaneously identifying and relating to pretty much everyone around you, and a day will come when you will feel surrounded.
Btw, ordinary people are capable of profound ideas, and hidden worth while pasts.
You’re obviously doing something well, you’re successful in your own way and now you’re looking around you, sure.
Yet actually you are the problem. You are under developed socially. Look to those around you in a new light. Even the regular strangers. Whatever psycho-emotional filter you have by now devised for them are like a pair of shades.
Remove those shades (deep breath or something). Seeing the person as if for the first time, roll with whatever (positive) comes to mind.
Get better at spontaneously identifying and relating to pretty much everyone around you, and a day will come when you will feel surrounded.
Btw, ordinary people are capable of profound ideas, and hidden worth while pasts.
I’m busy. Work takes a lot of energy, life is full, and most days I feel like I’m already at capacity.
I don’t feel lonely. I have people around, things to do, a routine.
But I do feel like I’m missing real conversations — the kind where you talk about ideas, interests, how you think about things. Not small talk, not updates, not networking.
The weird part is: I don’t actually want more friends or long-term relationships right now. Not because I don’t like people — I just don’t have the time or energy to keep something going consistently. And I don’t want to half-ass friendships.
I’ve tried a few things and none of them really worked:
Dating or “friend” apps quickly turn into constant chatting and expectations. Even if people say it’s casual, it never really is.
Meetups and group events feel noisy and shallow. You talk to a lot of people, but nothing really sticks - and honestly it’s draining.
Networking is fine for work, but that’s not what I’m missing.
Online communities are interesting, but comment threads don’t replace actually talking to someone.
So I’m kind of stuck in this in-between space.
I want meaningful, interest-based conversations — but without turning them into friendships I have to maintain, without constant messaging, without guilt if weeks go by.
Just… show up, talk, think together, and that’s it.
Does anyone else feel this?
What do you do with this kind of need?