That's how patent licensing works (albeit a comically overaggressive caricature). Do you fundamentally oppose the concept of patents or do you think Microsoft is doing something else wrong by asking to be paid license fees by competitors using their patents?
Conversely, you old people grew up in a disconnected, technologically backwards society and you've learned your whole lives that electronic communication is something to be feared.
Because the people who do it don't think of it as giving up privacy and personal space. If your partner moved in with you, would you call that "giving up half your house"?
No, people think that because it's bigger than everything else put together, the fountainhead of the site's culture, and is the source of virtually everything notable that's ever happened there.
There certainly aren't many good ones. And even if you don't care about the quality of comedy, any layman can compare the comedy industry to another industry that does have such protections, like, say, film or software, and see a huge gap.
I don't feel deprived of comedy in general because anyone can redistribute some list of a few hundred jokes without repercussion. Good comedy, however, is hard to come by. I've heard it all before and now I need to look for niche domains like language intersection to find novel jokes.
They are very much needed - just ask anyone who tries to go without. If they wouldn't be interested in doing business without the legal framework that currently exists, why is that an invalid argument? The "talent" is not the only one involved in bringing a creative work to consumers for them to enjoy.
Not even close. Trains would be quite useless if they did not have a lot of mass and kinetic energy. People should already strive to not be bigots regardless of what google does or doesn't do.