I wish someone could write a "The Good Parts" book for Emacs. Even after reading the manual twice, I'm still overwhelmed with the API and forget even the most basic configuration options after a month of inactivity.
I'd like to take this question one step further: When do you think is an appropriate point to take a sabbatical? After working for a year, two years, three etc. The reason I'm asking is that junior developers might feel the need for a break earlier in their careers compared to experienced devs.
Amazing timing, I was just getting into open source these days and I have the same feelings you described in the beginning when I make a contribution.
The essay kindly tells us how you feel right now, proud but tired and contemplating. IMHO That’s always going to be the case for hard working people like you, but still it is interesting that you kept pushing even though you didn’t feel comfortable and confident doing all those things you were unprepared for. And even though you were able to overcome all those challenges, you still doesn’t sound satisfied with you current situation. Maybe that’s because you have even bigger dreams?
I think you’ve done an amazing work and deserve a long rest. I’m sure it’ll be bit harder for people depending on you, but they’ll get used to it eventually and you’ll feel more relaxed and maybe more fulfilled by giving yourself some space and time.
I knew other people felt the same way! There was this coffee shop I always hanged out, which recently "permanently closed" as the owner died RIP. It is really hard to explain that feeling, which I literally can't. But awesome idea!