I am not meaning to brag at all, but I am a woman considered highly attractive by a lot and I get asked out quite frequently by attractive men.
The only reason I mention that is because I recently started dating a man (not exclusively yet) who has just moved in with his Mom to save money and buy a home. I live with my Mom, who has Parkinson's, to help her.
I do not judge him remotely and find him incredibly attractive regardless. The only person who is ashamed is him! The logistics are the only issue, but we make enough that I don't mind renting out AirBnBs etc...
He is being financially responsible, and I am taking care of the woman who sacrificed her life for me to achieve my dreams and is now unwell.
Be proud, and screw those women with double standards who fail to look a little deeper. It's sexism. A lot of women unfortunately hold this stigma, but there are women like us out there who don't. Keep looking.
Second, if you've been unemployed for that many years, I suspect underlying mental health issues you may not be aware of (or haven't disclosed) is responsible for this, and not so much you doing something wrong in tech or your skills even.
Please immediately get help. You can even call 911 and tell them you're in crisis; they can connect you with social workers/therapists who can connect you with crisis help.
Before the pandemic, went out on dates all the time. Since the pandemic started, it's been more about talking online. Was considering meeting in-person soon, but the surges in California this week have me reconsidering, mostly because my Mom is high-risk. I don't know if your parents are in poor health, or where you're based, but that's something to weigh in as well while dating. But also, I once dated a guy who was building a startup and living at home temporarily to save money; we just booked us AirBnBs when we wanted to meet but not be around his parents, so there are other options by the way if the girl/you are uncomfortable.
I am a 30-year-old female who lives with my 70-year-old, widowed Mom in California. She's not doing great financially and is sick, so I help her a lot, and provide company as she gets pretty lonely. Been protecting her a lot from going out too much since the pandemic started, so that's sort of worked out. I'm not sure if those of you who say it limits dating options are men, but for me, my options haven't been limited at all. And in the past few months, I have noticed a lot of men I've spoken to on dating apps are back at home. I have continued to talk to them and don't think anything of it. I get it -- it's a pandemic, it's smart to save money, and honestly our parents could do with the help right now. Helping them means they don't need to go out as much, reducing their risk. So if you're a man worried about this, which I suspect some of you are, don't! The only issues: 1) sometimes I fear my Mom has become too dependent on me for social needs and what not, and it can be a lot. But this is something I am trying to work on. 2) the stigma I face weirdly is when I read threads like this lol and read people calling people like me "losers." It does make me feel pretty badly about myself, irrationally so. But normally when I tell people in real life about my situation, nobody really cares that much. Some people say it's wonderful my Mom has me. I think to make this work, be of value to your parents, whether that's helping them financially or just being a social support. Just make sure it stays healthy, and it should be fine.
Wow. I don't even know what to say or what kind of advice to offer other than, if you need a friend or somebody to talk to, I am here. Seriously. I've been through trauma and I think I can empathize, although certainly have no idea what you're going through. I am SO sorry.
Sometimes I like heading on over to GoFundMe and Kiva and donating to people directly there, particularly those who need money for health care in the US and elsewhere. I also sometimes donate to emerging initiatives on Kickstarter that I think will benefit society in some way. It gives me satisfaction to give directly to people and help small initiatives/businesses.
The only reason I mention that is because I recently started dating a man (not exclusively yet) who has just moved in with his Mom to save money and buy a home. I live with my Mom, who has Parkinson's, to help her.
I do not judge him remotely and find him incredibly attractive regardless. The only person who is ashamed is him! The logistics are the only issue, but we make enough that I don't mind renting out AirBnBs etc...
He is being financially responsible, and I am taking care of the woman who sacrificed her life for me to achieve my dreams and is now unwell.
Be proud, and screw those women with double standards who fail to look a little deeper. It's sexism. A lot of women unfortunately hold this stigma, but there are women like us out there who don't. Keep looking.