I took 5 weeks off from my startup when I had my first, and I’ll be taking 3 months off for my second who arrives end of the month. I’m at a larger organization now in a leadership role, and my past startup I was one of three.
As others are already writing, you should take some bonding time and adjustment time, regardless of company size. Those first few weeks are a huge adjustment, and you need to focus on your family, partner, and newborn, more than a company.
How long is appropriate then becomes a question of a number of factors. I don’t want to make a value judgment on anyone who feels like 2 weeks is enough vs someone who says 12 weeks is the minimum. Life is complicated and nobody knows your situation better than you. But, you should optimize first for your family, and then once that is finished, figure out what a return to work timeline looks like.
Parenthood is such a wild journey with its own unique set of challenges, struggles, and joys. My best to you and your partner.
I had huge work life (self induced) challenges for 8 or so years at the start of my career. Similar story to you but not as a founder- I just worked 80+ hours a week by default. Nobody forced me to do it, just my motor.
I worked with a psychotherapist for 4 years, once a week, with this being the predominant focus of our time together. She was immensely helpful and between the regular maintenance of those visits and her helping improve my self awareness, I now no longer blitz myself week after week. I certainly still have that motor in me, but I know how to divert it to other activities and focuses like my family, hobbies, and myself. I still love to work because I love what I do, but it’s not how I define my life.
Get help. This is sufficiently a problem where it’s impacting your relationships with others, which is a huge red flag.
As others are already writing, you should take some bonding time and adjustment time, regardless of company size. Those first few weeks are a huge adjustment, and you need to focus on your family, partner, and newborn, more than a company.
How long is appropriate then becomes a question of a number of factors. I don’t want to make a value judgment on anyone who feels like 2 weeks is enough vs someone who says 12 weeks is the minimum. Life is complicated and nobody knows your situation better than you. But, you should optimize first for your family, and then once that is finished, figure out what a return to work timeline looks like.
Parenthood is such a wild journey with its own unique set of challenges, struggles, and joys. My best to you and your partner.
Godspeed.